Tuesday, November 27, 2018

The rights of The People ... err ... and cats, part 2 #ChewyInfluencer

If you missed Part 1 of this post where Bear Cat and The Boy discuss the Second Amendment ... and Bear goes a bit berserk searching for things on the internet [a $90,000 tank?!]: The rights of The People ... err ... and cats. This post includes a closer look at Bear's masterpiece, some bickering between the cats, and a review!

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

BC: The comments on my post about a cat Bill of Rights suggested I run for president.
MK: No.
BC: What?! You think a cat isn't good enough to be president?
MK: No. But I think putting you in charge of an army of tanks is foolish.
BC: Wait wait wait. As president, I'd be in charge of an army of tanks? What about bazookas?
MK: Ummm ...
BC: Just call me the tank daddy.
MK: And there it is. No.
BC: Is NO the only word you know?
{Silence}
BC: See what I did there? Since NO isn't the only word you know, you'd have to say something else because if you answer NO, you'd have proved my point. But by saying something else, you stop that obnoxious NOing!
MK: The power of no.
BC: Phht. There is no power in no. It's just asinine. I poop on your "no!'
MK: So you want to run for President
?
BC: Do presidents have to wear that funky tiara?
MK: What funky tiara?
BC: The one the current president wears on his head that looks like an albino rabbit gave his life for our country.
MK: That's not a tiara.
BC: So if I become president, I won't have to wear that?
MK: No.
BC: Call me the Commander of Tanks.
MK: No.
BC: Tank daddy? I'm the TANK DADDY! The 'ole daddy of tanks. The tankster, the tankerooni  ...


MK: NO!
BC: Could I raise money to make payments on a tasty whole chicken ... err ... I mean to pay for my campaign?
MK: That's illegal.

BC: WHAT?!? A tasty whole chicken farm is illegal? Or BUYING a tasty whole chicken farm is illegal? What happens if you hatch your own chickens?
MK: It's illegal to use campaign contributions for personal use.
BC: Then what can one spend them on?
MK: The campaign.
BC: Wait wait wait ... you Americans PAY for all that annoying mail and robocalls leading up to an election?
MK: Yeah. Though corporations and PACs offer some of the funding as well.
BC: Packs? Packs of what? Like a case of morons?
MK: You're kidding, but ...
BC: If people pay for that kind of annoyance, surely I can get paid for my obnoxiousness.
MK: You said it. Not me.
BC: If I'm president, I can do what I want.
MK: UGH.
BC: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
MK: A president wouldn't say that!
BC: Oh? Are you going to be the one to tell him? What fun is being president if you can't order beheadings?
MK: You can't be president. You're not an American citizen and you aren't older than thirty-five.
BC: Phht. Take your stupid American citizenship and stuff it! Oh, as a cat I'm not GOOD ENOUGH to be an American citizen? I haven't been so insulted since the vet told you that everything is normal in regard to me. Phht. I'm not NORMAL, I'm EXTRAORDINARY!
MK: It doesn't quite work like ... he didn't mean ...
BC: I don't need the stroke of humanocrity. No. I'm BETTER than a citizen ... I'm a CAT! And I'm older than you in cat years. Have respect for your elders! Just call me the tank daddy.
MK: Oh, my head. 
BC: You should see the rest of my Bill of Rights..

MK: As much as I'm curious, I know that I don't want to open that box.
EM: BOX?! What box? I love boxes! 
BC: Oh, to be simple-minded. 
EM: Well, not as much as food. I mean ... food IN a box would be best ... but food definitely is the best, boxes or not ... but boxes can be fun too ... especially when you use them as cover to pounce on your brother.
BC: True story. More than once. Boxes should be banned.
EM: Just because YOU don't appreciate the value of boxes, you shouldn't ruin it for the rest of us ...
BC: Umm ... technically, YOU ruin it for the rest of us. You're the one that uses them as a launching pad to attack me!
MK: Okay. Okay. That's enough.
EM: What are you guys doing?
BC: Plotting my campaign ...
MK: Looking at Bear's Bill of Rights.
EM: You have my vote ...
BC: THANKS! See?!? She isn't nearly as stupid as ...
EM: ... for jerk of the century.
BC: {sigh} She isn't nearly as stupid as she makes me look.
EM: Let me see this Bill of Rights! Let me see!

{Pause as Ellie reads them}
EM: Mm hmm ... yeah ... good one! Yep! WAIT! Where's my right to not get beat up by my stupid brother?

BC: Ooh! There should be a right against having sisters! No sisters shall be quartered in any house without consent of the alpha cat.
EM: That's discrimination! You don't say anything about BROTHERS!
BC: Even Momma wouldn't be stupid enough to get me a ... huh. No SIBLINGS shall be quartered in any house without consent of the alpha feline.
EM: I'm the alpha feline! 
BC: You're not the alpha feline! I'M the alpha feline!
EM: You're FIRED!
BC: You can't fire me! The president ...
EM: I'm not scared of YOU!
BC: Well, I'm not scared of you! I think I can resolve this ... "No SIBLINGS shall be quartered in any house without consent of the alpha feline. Wheresoever the alpha cat is disputed, the decision is by default that of the oldest member."
EM: You can't just make this all up!
BC: WATCH ME!
EM: These are prejudicial to you!
BC: I regret that I have but one life to give in pursuit of my tyranny. Give me tyranny or give me death!
EM: That's so unfair!
MK: Ignore him. His Bill of Rights isn't binding.
EM: I can't ignore him when he's being stupid!
BC: Oh, yeah? You're STUPIDER!
EM: You're the MOST stupid!
BC: You're the most stupidest!
EM: That's not even a thing!
BC: You live in MY country now. What I say goes.
EM: I'm going to overthrow this nonsense of a country!
BC: And I can ignore you just fine when you're stupid ... which you always are.
EM: HEY! 
BC: And you may call me, "His esteemed catness of Beardom."
EM: Not EXACTLY what I had in mind to call you. But you're right. Bear IS dumb!
BC: SEE?!?! I knew you'd see ... wait a ...
{Pause}
BC: Not DUMB! DOM! Bear-DOM!
EM: Hmph. I think Beardom sounds beary dumb. 

{Momma busts out laughing}
BC: WHAT?!? What's so funny, Chuckles?!
MK: I think she got you.
BC: She DID NOT! I'm my own cat! It even says in here ...
{Pause}
BC: No, wait. It DOESN'T say that! What was I thinking?
EM: Like usual, I'd guess you're n ...
BC: DON'T EVEN SAY IT!
EM: If you ever thought you wouldn't get into these messes.
BC: I think just fine! SEE?!? An ENTIRE Bill of Rights for cats!
EM: Prejudicial to you.
BC: DUH! I wrote it! OF COURSE it's to my benefit. Write your own and we'll talk.
EM: You have too much time on your hands ...
{Pause}
EM: Err ... paws.
BC: It's not like I said cats have the right to full food bowls, endless treats, warm places to sleep, laps, and being petted when a cat wants some pets - but leaving him alone when he doesn't. Huh.
EM: THOSE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT POINTS!
BC: No. My most important points are my claws and fangs. 
EM: Who are you?
BC: I thought that was given being part of a cat's own laws and restrictions!
EM: So you trust the humans to read your mind?
BC: No way! Their intellect couldn't process all that goes on in my head!
MK: Wet food treat time!
EM: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MK: If you two start fighting, you'll BOTH lose your treat!
EM: But it's not really my fault! I'm a nice ...
BC: Bus?
EM: TAKE THAT BACK!

BC: Airplane hanger?
EM: Shut up!
BC: When you do!
EM: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We don't want to lose our wet food treat!
BC: If we did, you might lose a whopping OUNCE. There better not be vegetables in this. I know your tricks, Momma!

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Disclosure: We received Miko Poultry & Tuna Variety Pack Grain-Free Canned Cat Food {3-oz, case of 12} - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Miko nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: No vegetables in these. This Miko pack is made of flaked chunks of real chicken, turkey or tuna as the first ingredients - and a consomm√© made with real broth provides hydration at meals. Even better, the contents of the cans are a complete and balanced meal with all the nutrition cats require ... and never any of the ingredients you don’t want - like grains, wheat, corn, soy or carrageenan.

BC: I know you're trying to trick me! Where are the vegetables?
MK: The flavors in this pack are Chicken & Turkey Recipe, Chicken Recipe, Chicken & Vegetable Recipe and Tuna & Tilapia Recipe. Only one flavor has vegetables - the chicken and vegetables, but I can't see any vegetables.
BC: You don't have to see them to recognize their nummy food ruining power.
MK: Two of the flavors overlap with the other pack we tried: the Tuna & Tilapia and the Chicken Recipe. You both gobbled those up!

{Pause}
MK: Tonight, let's try the chicken and turkey.

BC: Oh, SURE! Pawn your Thanksgiving turkey leftovers on us!
MK: NO! This is a review for Chewy, remember? 
BC: OH! So we're not GOOD enough for YOUR turkey!
MK: I can't win!
EM: Welcome to our house! Hosted by Grumpy McGrumpsALot.
BC: That's MR. McGrumpsALot to you. Unless you want to call me, "His esteemed catness of Beardom."
EM: Phht. Yeah. That will be the day. I'll just keep the things I call you in my head. I'm a NICE cat.
MK: {putting the plates down} Here you go, you two.
BC: {sniffing the food} No veggies. Just tasty whole chicken goodness!

EM: Don't forget about the turkey! This has turkey in it too!
BC: Don't talk with your mouth full! GROSS!

EM: This is even better than the flavor we had last night!
BC: Num ... num ... num ... num ... 
{Pause}
BC: I regret ... num num num ... that I have but ... num num num ... one belly for ... num num num ... this food.

EM: Now who's talking with his mouth full?!?
BC: Mmm ... bhm hem notw swebet!
EM: EWWW! I felt a piece of chicken from Bear's mouth falling on me!
BC: And you say I don't share!
MK: Enough you two. As I've said before, Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Miko Poultry & Tuna Variety Pack Grain-Free Canned Cat Food? Go visit Chewy and order a case for your favorite feline!

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39 comments:

  1. The right to yummy food without veggies should be in your Bill of Rights Bear!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bear, we think you would make a great President. That food sounds awesome. We are going right over to Chewy and order some up. You all have a wonderful day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We bet you'll love it ... err ... we bet your CATS will like it ...

      Delete
  3. We love your Bill of Rights! We also loved that food!

    The Florida Furkids

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cats Rule! Humans just need to know that, and all is well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phht. Humans like to think they're superior. BIG DEAL! You have thumbs! Get over it! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  5. It looks like that food is extra good! I agree that veggies don't belong in your nommy foods.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Momma is a freak of nature and loves veggies. ICK! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  6. Bear, all of you make mine and mom's entire week. But I think we said that before. I love the amendments and certainly THE Bill of Rights. And I love the smile on Mom's face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We never get tired of hearing it ... so THANK YOU! That's why we do this!

      Delete
  7. AMARULA: America doesn't know what it's losing by not letting you run for president! You know I would vote for you my little tankerooni!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Behind every great man(cat) is an even greater lady(cat). ~Bear Cat

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  8. Yep, we agree you are extraordinary, and we really appreciate the work you put into the Feline Bill of Rights.

    ReplyDelete
  9. We're going to check this food out next. It looks and sounds yummy, and no veggies is always a good thing. "I regret that I have but one belly for this food." Good one!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bear I'd cast my vote for you and your Feline Bill of Rights
    Hugs Cecilia

    ReplyDelete
  11. "MK: What funky tiara? BC: The one the current president wears on his head that looks like an albino rabbit gave his life for our country. MK: That's not a tiara."

    Love it!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
  12. OK, so maybe I have got this wrong, Bear, but the Bill of Rights is full of amendments, possibly a few typos, not that they had typewriters back then, so just add an amendment to get the extra important stuff you missed, in. After all, these things do have to move with the times, and you are a mover and a shaker! Or is the shaking Ellie?
    Purrs
    ERin
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. The world shakes when she walks through. Hahahahahahahaha. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  13. Bear, Sam says you have her vote. The rest of us might need to think about it (since we're not cats). :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WHAT?!? What about black cat power and all that?! ~Ellie Mae

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  14. Well Bear, ifin you run fur president, we wanna be your veep. Yep, we'd make fine veeps and could really get alot done in t'ween naps. MOL big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm ... why do I think Dezi wants an excuse to live in a home without a pest ... I mean, SISTER! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  15. You two gobbled those moist noms right up! I guess you give them the paws up. Bear, when you're in office as purr-esident, would you consider me as your Secretary of the Interior? Winks.

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  16. Cute review. I am gload the food was a hit and tasted like tasty whole chickens :) PS : You've got my vote.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I agree that we need to visit our exotic animal vet frequently when needed, it depends in cases or condition of your pet. Like in my case I have senior cat that her exotic vet need to monitor her health condition.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know much about exotic animals - but their health is definitely important!! I've learned that!

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