Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Ellie's day, kind of

Since we didn't post at the end of last week, this is our Halloween post ... a little late. Ellie's excited to find out what "her day" entails and Bear is all too happy to tell her! Her enthusiasm might be a bit ... misplaced. Just when Bear has Ellie convinced, the quiet tips off Momma that something isn't quite right.

BC: Bear Cat Kat 
MK: Momma Kat 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

BC: It's your day!
EM: It is?
BC: Yeah!
EM: Is it my birthday?
BC: Even better!
EM: Ooh! Did I win the lottery? 
BC: No.
EM: {looking around} Am I on television? Because I need to groom my tail!
BC: Like grooming can help your tail! You are not on television.
EM: Aww. I want to be a star!
BC: And I want to be an only child ... err ... cat. But is that going to happen?
EM: Am I getting a tasty whole tuna farm?
BC: NO!
EM: Sheesh. Is that any way to treat someone whose day it is?
BC: ARG!!!
EM: Are you hitting the road and loving and leaving torties?
BC: STOP ASKING!
{Pause}
BC: Hmm ... that's a good one.
EM: Then how is it my day?

BC: It's Halloween!
EM: I don't get it.
BC: Halloween is for black cats and the devil.
EM: I don't know the devil! 
{Pause}
EM: Well, besides you.
BC: Ha. Ha. Ha. Would you like me to introduce you?
EM: This isn't going to include a visit to the vet, is it? YOU know the devil? 
BC: Hey! The more demons you know ...
EM: The more you get in trouble?
BC: It's called NETWORKING.
EM: I thought you don't work. Now you're working to build nets with the devil?
BC: Do you want to meet the devil or not?
EM: Well ...
BC: Close your eyes!
EM: Can I open them?
BC: NO!
EM: I'm scared of the dark!
BC: It's not really dark!
EM: I can't see! Close enough!
BC: Stop whining! The magic required to summon the prince of darkness requires some time!
EM: I want to be the princess of darkness! 
BC: I thought you were scared of the dark!
EM: I'm going to ask him!
BC: Oh, for ... 
EM: You're not going to do what you did last time?
BC: What did I do last ...
EM: It was NOT very nice!
BC: Oh. THAT. I'm tempted ... the devil must be near!
EM: {making the sign of a cross} OH!

BC: Bibbity bobbity ...
EM: OH!
BC: Boo!
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
{Pause}
EM: Can I open my eyes?
BC: Technical difficulty.
EM: I didn't know the devil was technologically difficult!
BC: All-a-kazam peanut butter and spinach sandwiches!
EM: YUCK!
MK: I just put the vacuum out so you don't forget to do the vacuuming!
The Boy: Okay. I'll do it in a few hours!
EM: The Boy is the devil?
BC: Close. One of his minions. But ...
{Pause}
BC: TADA! Meet El Diablo.
EM: Can I open my eyes?
BC: YES!
EM: I thought you said this was the devil?! Not L. Dabo!
BC: It is!
EM: Then why is it named El Diablo?
BC: It means "devil" in Spanish.
EM: Oh. The Spans use strange words.
BC: I'm going to regret this but ... the spans?
EM: The people who speak Spanish!
BC: Yep. Too late.
EM: Wait a  minute ... the vacuum is the devil?!

BC: Don't let it fool you.
EM: I thought there were supposed to be horns and a pitchfork and all that?!
BC: Is it evil?
EM: It DOES eat my toys!
BC: Be careful, or it will eat your soul.
EM: I have sole? Where?! I LOVE fishy!
BC: Ugh. Having a dental cleaning is easier than dealing with you.
EM: Are you sure it's safe?
BC: Would I lie to you?
EM: Ummm ...
BC: RATS! I would.
EM: At least you're honest about lying. Didn't Momma just say she put it here?
BC: Ummm ... El Diablo summoned Momma to do his bidding?
EM: WHOOOOOOA! I believe that! After all, she clips our claws, brushes our teeth, steals our poop and takes us to the vet.
BC: Be careful where you stick your nose!
EM: WHY?! I'm going to give this evil beast a piece of my mind!

BC: Good. Because that's all you have left. Don't spend it all in one place.
EM: You are NOT nice! 
BC: HEY! I'm the one that introduced you to the devil! And I'M not nice?
EM: I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to L. Dabo.
BC: EL DIABLO!
EM: That's what I said!
BC: Okay. Tell him off.
EM: You are NOT nice! I don't like people or things that aren't nice! You should be ashamed of yourself!
BC: {rolling his eyes} Yeah. You tell him. Oh, brother.
EM: WHAT?! I'm not ashamed of my brother!
{Pause}
EM: Well, most of the time.
BC: Excuse me?
EM: I don't think he's listening!
BC: I sure wish I weren't!
EM: If it's my day, do I get to wear a crown and parade around waving at people?
BC: No.
EM: Then what?
BC: Oh. Never mind. You couldn't handle it.
EM: I COULD TOO! TELL ME!

BC: Do you have a costume?
EM: What?!
BC: On Halloween, you're supposed to wear a costume! And since you're a black cat, THUS BEING YOUR DAY, people can pinch you if you're not dressed up!
EM: REALLY?! I've never heard that! What is Momma dressed up as?
BC: Err ... hmm. You're right. That's not a scary mask. That's her face!
EM: Momma would be REALLY mad at you if she heard you!
BC: Nah. She really only gets super upset when I point out her doughnut butt. But since Momma's not a black cat, she doesn't have to dress up.
EM: So only black cats have to dress up? That seems unfair.
BC: NO! Only black cats are ALLOWED to dress up!
EM: OH! Cool! The one day of the year that house panthers rule!
{Pause}
EM: Ummm ... can we get El Dabo to leave?
BC: EL D ... oh, NEVER MIND!
EM: He freaks me out.
BC: Aren't you worried about your costume? I can pinch you!
EM: What kind of costume?
BC: A booger?
EM: Very funny.
BC: We need to find something to dress you up as!
EM: I don't like to wear clothes!
BC: Nice girls wear clothes and cover up.
EM: They do?
BC: Yeah.
EM: If we're supposed to dress up, what are you?
BC: Err ... I'm dressed as a good brother? It doesn't matter because as I already said, only black cats are supposed ... err ... ALLOWED to dress up!

EM: Those stripe-y pants make your butt look big ... but okay.
BC: Watch it, or I'll take my good brother costume off!
EM: You said only black cats get to dress up. So you can't! HA! You look the same either way. It's hard to tell the difference!
BC: So what do you want to be?
EM: An astronaut!
BC: No ...
EM: A tuna farmer!
BC: Ummm ...
EM: A pop star!
BC: Wait a ...
EM: A DOG!
BC: WHAT?!?! A dog? Where's your pride?
EM: I thought dogs were in a pack and lions were in a pride.
{Pause}
EM: Why do you keep smacking your forehead like that? Do you have brain damage?
BC: Do you EVER shut up?
EM: I try to be friendly!
BC: OH! I have an idea!
EM: What?
BC: I have a costume for you! It's the most popular costume this year!
EM: REALLY? COOL! What is it?
BC: Can I trust you?!
EM: Of course! TELL ME!!!
BC: You can't tell anyone.
EM: OKAY!
BC: Follow me!

EM: This is SO exciting! I get to dress up because it's Halloween and I'm a black cat.
BC: You'll get what you deserve!
EM: Why are you being so nice to me? Are we finally best friends?
BC: TADA!
EM: It's a paper bag!
BC: Does a paper bag talk?
EM: Well, no ...
BC: What does a paper bag do?
EM: IT JUST SITS THERE AND DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!
BC: If you were a paper bag, how would you treat me?
EM: Err ... not talk to you and not follow you around?
BC: Isn't this the best costume?
EM: The best costume for whom?
BC: No one will recognize you!
EM: Hmmm ... I don't know. I don't want Momma to forget about me and not give me my wet food treat.
BC: Okay. I'll pinch you then!
EM: NO! Don't pinch me!
BC: Phht. You SHOULD be pinched. You're allowed to wear a costume on Halloween - unlike me - and you sneer at the costume like you are too good for it! If it were a day I was allowed to wear a costume, I wouldn't be looking the gift horse in the mouth!
EM: I get a horse as a gift for Halloween?! COOL!
{Pause}
EM: Or wait ... it is someone in a horse costume?
BC: Do you want to celebrate your day or not?
EM: I'm sorry! You're right!
BC: There you go! All set!
EM: It's kind of dark in here. You know I hate the dark.
BC: I can always pinch you.
EM: This is so exciting!
BC: Be a paper bag!
EM: RIGHT!

{Pause}
BC: FINALLY! Peace and quiet! Happy Halloween to me! Happy Halloween to me!
{A few minutes pass and Bear falls asleep}
MK: {walking into the room} Why is it so quiet in ... {stopping when she sees a paper bag with a tail} ... never mind. I don't want to know!
EM: Don't be afraid, Momma! It's just me!
MK: I don't want to know.
EM: Bear! Get this off me!
The Boy: Where's Ellie? I hear her voice ...
MK: See the tail?
The Boy: What did you do to my baby girl this time?
BC: Thanks, Momma! That didn't last long!

© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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32 comments:

  1. Oh Bear, you are so naughty to your sister, but she is gullible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ellie, you're such a cutie girl and a darn good sport too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Looks like Ellie got the Trick...we hope she got treats too.

    The Florida Furkids

    ReplyDelete
  4. MOL MOL your Shark vacuum cleaner gave me a brain worm...Jimmy Buffet's shark song
    Fins to the right, fins to the left
    Hugs Cecilia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my. My niece and nephew love this Baby Shark song. I'd share it - but I don't want it stuck in my head for the next three months!

      Delete
  5. Ellie, Da Boyz AND Sweetie are black cats too; I LURV black cats!

    ReplyDelete
  6. a toona farm !!!! now yur talkin....N guyz.... de vacuum masheen IZ de devil.....therz one heer
    hidin.... bee hind a door .... :) ♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ours is usually chained up behind a door too! Can you imagine how dangerous it would be if it didn't have that leash the humans plug into the wall?!

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. What about me?! I have to put up with BOTH of them! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  8. Ellie, black cats rule. Cats with black faces rule too. So I know how hurtful brothers can be. You handled ypurself perfectly just like a lady.

    Shoko

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    Replies
    1. Hmph. One of these days I'm going to shine his clock. ~Ellie Mae

      Delete
  9. We miss our resident black cat, Ellie, so we love seeing you as a Halloween cat, even if your brother didn't exactly send you in the right direction with that! BTW, we agree that the vacuum is truly the devil....you were right to tell it off!

    ReplyDelete
  10. We think that noisy thing is the devil too.
    Your furiends,
    Sam & Elsa🐾

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YEAH! We wouldn't think we'd agree with dogs ... but on this point, all the way!

      Delete
  11. Gracie and Ava are both beautiful black housepanthers like you, Ellie. You are special and wonderful, every single day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Frodo and Zulu think Amarula is the perfect Halloween cat! Zulu says she looks like a pumpkin exploded!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahaha. That is truly hilarious. We think she's perfect just the way she is though!

      Delete
  13. Happy Halloween! Hmm, maybe the bag would have worked better with eye holes and something painted on the front, like a face, or one of those old seaside photo scenes where you seem to be two strangly dressed plump individuals. Humans really do have the most strange sense of humour, MOL
    Purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I considered cutting out a face in the bag ... or something else. I've got to leave some ideas for next year!

      Delete
  14. Bear, you are so mean to your sister! Although I've never seen a paper bag look better.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Don't worry Ellie , every day is your day, not just Halloween :) XO

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ellie, if you get lonely I'll come over and hang out in that bag with you. Luvs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A black cat party!!! We could invite ERin too! ~Ellie Mae

      Delete

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