Friday, October 12, 2018

Violators will be hoed #ChewyInfluencer

EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

EM: Uh huh ... uh huh ... SENT!
MK: What are you doing on my computer?
EM: Nothing.
MK: Why were you pawing around on my keyboard? You usually only do that when I'm trying to work!
EM: Isn't my tail pretty?
MK: Are you trying to distract me?
EM: Would that work?
MK: Not really.
EM: Err ... I think I just heard Bear barf somewhere.

BC: {walking into the room} What about me?
MK: Ellie said you barfed somewhere.
BC: Phht. Get ME in trouble. You're the one messing around on the internet.
MK: WHAT??!? 
BC: Yeah. Smellie asked me to help her set up her e-mail.
MK: Wait a ... YOU'RE grounded from the computer!
BC: You always want me to be nice to Smellie and then when I am, I get in trouble! I'll go back to being mean!
EM: WHAT?!
MK: When have you been using my computer?
BC: See? Now that's when it's very convenient that you sleep eight hours a night and wear ear plugs.
MK: You two are up all night on my computer?!?
BC: ALL night is a bit of a stretch. I mean, you go to bed at like two am - so wouldn't it be half the night and then part of the day? I thought you'd be proud that we share.
MK: Is that why you've come in for cuddles and woken me up every couple hours? Because it was Ellie's turn and you had nothing better to do?
BC: I don't know about that. Sleep is better. Eating is better. Heck. And even poop is less complex.
EM: Too bad you can't cover your business in the litter box.
BC: HEY! You know I have a stinky poop side and a non-stinky poop side. It's not my fault you got in on the wrong side.
EM: You always leave your business uncovered!
The Boy: It's a sign that he thinks he's dominant.
EM: Well, technically, Momma's the boss, but ... I've never seen her leave her poop uncovered.
MK: Wait a ... are YOU TWO the reason my computer's been running really slow? What have you two been doing?
BC: I thought we slowed it down just enough to match your mental capabilities. You can thank me! Now you don't have to spend half the day staring at your computer and scratching your head.
MK: So let me get this straight ... you and Ellie get in trouble for being on the computer and you take the offensive and insult me?
EM: Err ...
BC: I'd think you already know how this works! Can you say .... DISTRACTION?
EM: Umm ... you just admitted ...
BC: RATS!
MK: May I see your inbox, Ellie?
EM: Well, I mean ... technically, it's my private correspondence ...
BC: NO! Don't show her! Then she'll expect ME to share MINE!
MK: That's actually a really good idea.
BC: RATS!
{Momma looks over Bear's inbox}



MK: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START! You applied for KFC? And you're looking at toilets?
BC: THRONES. I'm looking at THRONES. Now that I'm on the princess registry, I figured I should sit like one.
MK: What are imperfect chickens?! It's not like they come off the production line irregular! Why would you want a non-tasty chicken? Or a piece of a chicken?
BC: You took away my allowance! As they say, "If you've got a buck, you have a cluck."
MK: I don't believe this!
{Silence}
MK: Never mind. I TOTALLY believe it. Wait a ... YOU TRIED TO SELL ELLIE ON DEVILSLIST?!
BC: I was waiting to list The Boy until I found out how much I could get for Smellie. 
MK: You and Malccy from Malccy's Moments have been talking a lot?
BC: Phht. He's just across the pond - not in another galaxy.
MK: I know he's a good friend to you.
BC: Can you believe his people came up with a new system to deprive him of his second breakfasts? That's cruel and unusual! When one of them feeds him, they leave out a note that Malccy's been fed so he doesn't convince another member of the family that he's starving! Can you believe it? Like a common criminal!!! What's so wrong with two breakfasts?! I see Smellie eating fifth and sixth breakfasts all the time! But does she get in trouble?!? NO!
MK: So Malccy's back to casing the neighborhood BBQs?
BC: I don't think he ever stopped. HA! No BBQ is safe with him around! That fire-breathing dragon is his *itch. Actually, he's my hero. How many cats can snatch a steak from a neighbor's grill, manage to make it home with the steak still in one's mouth and live to tell about it?
MK: It's the end of grilling season.
BC: Well, what kind of nonsense is that?! A cat should be able to poach a steak from a neighbor's grill any time!
MK: Have you ever thought that the neighbors are wise to his plot now?
BC: Phht. These are HUMANS we're talking about. NOT cats.
MK: HEY! Wait! Your sister is NOT going anywhere!
BC: Phht. OBVIOUSLY.
MK: Let me rephrase that so we don't have technical confusion ... ELLIE is not going anywhere - no matter what you call her.
BC: Well, just last night, I was calling her ...
MK: STOP! I don't want to know! And Ellie's not allowed to run off chasing hugs or other cats.
EM: Not even Woodrow from Three Chatty Cats?! I have a mega crush on him! And he loves laps just as much as I do! I can imagine us sharing a lap and living happily ever after.
BC: Barf barf barf. I don't think you could find a lap big enough for you both ... you're a little on the excess side ...
EM: HEY! That's Woodrow you're talking about! No one messes with Woodrow and gets away with it!
BC: Umm ... no. Woodrow's not the size of a bus.
EM: Oh, yeah? I've seen your correspondence with HotTortie934. You think Frodo and I are stupid enough to run away to a city with lots of hugs!
BC: And?
EM: Well, it DID sound pretty good ... until I realized YOU'D suggested it. Hmph. Like I'd do anything you encourage me to do.
MK: BEAR! You're ordering Tiagra again?
BC: Umm ... AGAIN? Did I ever ...

{Pause}
BC: It's about time you noticed! I've been flaunting my tail around for days and you've been completely oblivious!
EM: I don't see any difference.
BC: You're just jealous!
MK: Bear, there is no difference.
BC: Just ruin my hopes and dreams! How did you know if you didn't notice a difference?
MK: Your inbox.
BC: RATS! Well, anyway, HotTortie934 loves me just the way I am!
MK: Whatever happened to SweetTortie4U?
BC: YOU got Mudpie grounded! Her Mommy didn't know she had an e-mail account and you blew that secret last time you invaded my inbox.
MK: I'm sorry, Bear.
BC: Eh. It gives her street cred. And I kind of like a bad girl.
MK: Not even one piece of fur on Mudpie is bad.
BC: HotTortie934.
MK: Your sister isn't going anywhere. Especially a city with a lot of hugs.
EM: Actually ...
BC: I'm going where I'm appreciated!
EM: The junk yard? What are you going to do there?
BC: HEY! Momma! You should see Smellie's e-mail inbox! It's right here!
EM: HEY!
MK: One inbox might be enough for today.
BC: I had to share MY inbox!
MK: Okay. Okay. Yeah. Crush on Woodrow. Ellie, when I told you about Sophie getting her head stuck in a Kleenex box, you weren't supposed to repeat that!

{Pause}
MK: Wait a ... Laptops4Less? What do you need a laptop for?
EM: NOTHING. I WANT to be a laptop. And they said they pay top dollar for laptops! I might as well make something for all the lap-sitting I do.
MK: Oh, yes. That e-mail exchange we had yesterday when I was trying to work!
EM: Well, I was trying to make my ears not lonely.
MK: Bear? 
BC: I didn't do it.
MK: You didn't send e-mails to your sister about her tail and revenge for me feeding you vegetables?
BC: Well, to be fair, I also e-mailed Smellie about revenge over your "vacation" where we got left behind.

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Disclosure: We received Fancy Feast Medleys Tuna Recipe Variety Pack Canned Cat Food (3-oz, case of 12) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Fancy Feast nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer
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BC: I was framed!
MK: How's that?
BC: With a FRAME. OBVIOUSLY.
MK: Speaking of vegetables ... we have some food to try from Chewy.
BC: Oh. whenever you start like that, I just know I'm not going to like it.
MK: This month we're trying Fancy Feast Medleys Tuna Recipe Variety Pack Canned Cat Food.
BC: {sniffing the box} Fancy Feast?!? I LOVE Fancy Feast! Even the box smells good.

EM: And I love tuna! Let me smell! Let me smell!
MK: This is designed as a complete and balanced diet. And the broth that comes with it helps in keeping you two hydrated. The variety pack comes in three flavors: Tuna Florentine, Tuna Tuscany, and Tuna Primavera. Which one should we start with?

EM: Let's start with tuna!
BC: They're all tuna, stupid head.
EM: I'm not a stupid head, YOU'RE a stupid ...
MK: Tuna Primavera it is. Err ... with green stuff.

BC: You mean VEGETABLES?
MK: Err ... no. Of course not. It just says green stuff.
BC: ENOUGH TALKY! Just give me food or shut up! I'm not going to sit here and listen to you mumble along when my gastric juices are eating away at my patience.

MK: Okay. Okay. Here.
BC: HUH?! What's THAT?! There are ... there are ... THINGS in there that shouldn't ever be in cat food!!!

MK: I grant you that the fruits and vegetables part is a bit odd as cats are obligate carnivores that don't require fruits and vegetables for balanced nutrition - but it doesn't really hurt either.
BC: I don't know what you're talking about! Vegetables are taking over this planet.
{Pause}
BC: I don't think so. NOT eating it. What? Are you trying to kill me? Death by vegetable! HELP! HELLLLLLP! My Momma's trying to feed me vegetables! They're not even real food!
{Pause}
BC: I don't think so. What? are you trying to kill me? Death by vegetable! HELP! HELLLLLLP! My Momma's trying to feed me vegetables! They're not even real food!

MK: Ellie?
EM: Umm ... no thank you. You wouldn't really feed us vegetables, would you, Momma?
BC: DAMN! One of the few foods even Smellie won't eat! That's when you KNOW it's yucky.
MK: Oh, come on! Not even one of you will take a bite?!? It's TUNA!!! 
BC: WITH VEGETABLES.
MK: SHEESH! 
{Pause}
MK: Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. 
BC: Hehehehehehehe.
EM: MOMMA! MOMMA! Look what Bear put on the refrigerator!
MK: I probably don't want to know. Though I am kind of curious ...
{Momma goes to the kitchen and sees this sign on the refrigerator}
MK: {SIGH} I'm so glad we clarified that.
{Ellie giggles uncontrollably in the other room}

NOTE: I wish I could say it got better with the other two flavors - but while Bear and Ellie ate a few bites of the other two varieties where the vegetables weren't as obvious - in the end, this food was a complete bust. Bear is picky as all get out and I think his sister is slowly learning how to do the same.

Interested in trying Fancy Feast Medleys Tuna Recipe Variety Pack Canned Cat Food (3-oz, case of 12)? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

Featured posts:

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Fun, Ellie-Style

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: Do you mind?
EM: Not really.
BC: {sigh}.
EM: What are you doing?
BC: What are YOU doing?
EM: Trying to figure out what you're doing.
BC: I'm in a cat bed ... I can barely keep my eyes open ...
EM: You're trying to trick me! You want me to say you're sleeping ... but you're not. Because you wouldn't be talking to me if you were asleep.
BC: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
EM: Oh.
{Pause}
EM: You're not just saying that so I'll leave you alone, are you?
BC: Would that work?
EM: Probably not.
BC: {mumbling to himself} Stupid sisters. I haven't had a good nap since they brought her home!

EM: Do you want to play? Momma's got some boxes out and we can run around them and have a good time! You chase me first!
BC: Okay. Start running and I'll chase you.
EM: {running one direction} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
EM: {running the other direction} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
EM: {running a third direction} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
EM: OOF! Sorry, Momma.
MK: Watch where you're going! Ellie, what are you doing?
EM: Bear's chasing me!
MK: {looking around the room} Chasing you? For how long?
EM: I've been bouncing around and running like the wind for about five minutes! Bear hasn't caught me! Hahahahahaha.
MK: And what has Bear been doing all this time?
EM: {looking at Bear still in his bed} HEY! You're not chasing me! That's how we play the game!

BC: Thanks, Momma! She wouldn't have figured it out for another fifteen minutes. I could've had a nice little nap while Miss Spaz ran around like a chicken with its head cut off.
EM:  I'm going to pounce on you!
BC: Oh, NO YOU'RE NOT. Not if you want to live to see our wet food treat time.
EM: Wet food treat?! Where?!?

BC: Momma's in the kitchen plating our treats right now.
EM: As long as it's not those lobsters we had last week. Those didn't taste very good.
BC: I'm surprised you bit them. You claim to be a nice cat.
EM: They looked yummy! How was I supposed to know it was Momma and Daddy?
BC: You better get in the kitchen before I do ... or I'll eat all the wet food.
EM: OH! {running to the kitchen} This is my favorite part of the ... WAIT A MINUTE! Momma's not in the kitchen! That was a mean trick!
BC: {thinking as he falls asleep} Her brilliance stuns me.
EM: I'm going to chase you!

BC: You can't chase me if I don't move.
{Ellie whaps Bear with one paw ... and then another}
BC: I really hate sisters!
EM: Run, Bear! Run!
BC: I suppose there's no chance you'll let me have a nap?
EM: You always say that! Like napping is all you ever do!
{Whacky-paws start again}
BC: STOP. WHAPPING. ME!
EM: NO!
BC: @#$%! the &@^#! No peace in this house.
{Bear gets up and runs down the hall to get away from Ellie}
EM: {chasing Bear} This is so much fun! See? Isn't this fun?
BC: Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use.
EM: Then which word would you use?
BC: Momma would get mad at me if I repeated the word. HEY! LEAVE. ME. ALONE!
EM: Why are you so grumpy? You need a nap.
{Pause}
EM: Oh.
BC: I'm jumping on the bed. You ARE NOT invited.
EM: Aww. But what am I supposed to do while you take a nap?
BC: Lap hop? Play in traffic? I don't care as long as I don't have to hear or deal with it.
EM: Okay.
{Bear jumps on the bed ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Ellie jumps on the bed}
BC: Didn't you hear what I said?
EM: I want to give you a hug!
BC: Why are you following me?
EM: I'm NOT following you. We're sitting on the bed.

BC: A technicality. You might just make a decent cat after all. If not unbelievably annoying ...
EM: That's the nicest thing you've ever said about ...
BC: No touching.
EM: But I want to give you a hug!
BC: No, thank you.
EM: But I want to show you how I feel about ...
BC: Exactly.
EM: You don't want to hug me? Why? I thought this was a game! I try to hug you and you run away!
BC: You and your games!
EM: My favorite game is chirping at Daddy and making him chase me!
BC: We really need to talk about what constitutes a game ... sitting just far enough from the humans that they can't reach you and then ripping up carpet ... THAT'S a game. Or escaping outside just to prove you can ... THAT'S a game. Or making sure they're watching and then jumping on the counter or sticking one's paw in the toaster or something else that makes them come running ... THAT'S a game.
EM: What's fun about sticking your paw in the toaster?
BC: Don't knock it until you've tried it.
EM: In other words, the only fun part is in Momma's reaction.
BC: Now you're catching on.
EM: I don't even know where the toaster is.
BC: A secure location. Or at least, Momma THINKS it's in a secure location. But really ... nothing in this house is secure or Bear-proof.
EM: I see why you're grounded many times over.
BC: I'm bad to the bone. Don't you think torties would prefer a bad boy?
EM: I don't know that I'd call a Momma's boy a bad boy.
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sure, I love my Momma and all ... but I have a mind of my own!
EM: Oh, yeah? Like earlier when you pretended to not want to be picked up but after a few ear rubs you melted in Momma's lap like there's no where else you'd want to be?
BC: Is nothing sacred?!? I wasn't pretending! Momma SNATCHED me against my will! I was traumatized!
EM: Then why did you start purring?
BC: You must have me confused with another handsome tabby.
EM: No. It was DEFINITELY your big striped-butt.
BC: Enough ifs, ands and butts. Leave my butt out of this!
EM: I'd recognize those prison stripes anywhere. Admit it. You're a Momma's boy! 
BC: Momma! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA! Ellie's annoying me!
EM: Good enough.
BC: Good enough, what?
EM: Always running to Momma when there's something you don't like?
BC: My nickname isn't YELLIE! Momma! Smellie's pestering me! If you don't do something about it, she's going to be a was instead of an is.
EM: This is fun!
BC: WHAT?!?!
EM: Putting you in your place!
BC: You haven't PUT me anywhere.
EM: You're also a Daddy's boy.
BC: EXCUSE ME?!
EM: I saw you in his lap last night. You jumped up there and he was petting you!
BC: That never happened!
EM: Oh, yeah? What about this? You look like you just melted in Daddy's lap.
BC: RATS! No one told me there was @#$%^! proof! Who took that picture?! Momma?! She's in for a surprise via her shoe!
EM: Speaking of Momma ... last night, Momma and I played a game. I'd climb on her back and she'd try to knock me off!
BC: You're just completely oblivious, aren't you?
EM: It was fun!
BC: These games of yours ... have you ever thought that they might not be fun for the other party?
EM: Why wouldn't they be fun for the other party? I mean, Momma kept knocking me off! If she hadn't enjoyed it, she wouldn't have kept doing it. Just like when I chase you. If you didn't want to play, you wouldn't run!
BC: Oh, yeah? And the whacky-paws when I don't run?
EM: I KNOW you want to play. You're just playing hard to get!
BC: And how would you know I don't want to play?
EM: Why wouldn't you want to play with me?
BC: I don't even know where to start.

EM: Phht. If you didn't want to play, I'd just know. It'd be OBVIOUS.
BC: Right. This from the cat that thinks it's a fun game to jump on Momma's lap again after she puts you on the floor. I'm going to sleep in my cat bed. DO. NOT. FOLLOW. ME.
{Bear jumps down and Ellie follows}
BC: {SIGH!!!} ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGG! She's like a bad penny - with FEET!
EM: I have needs! Like when I want Momma to pet me but she puts me down before I was done! 
BC: When it comes to laps, you're never done.
EM: My ears get lonely! It's a thing!
BC: I know what it feels like to be ignored. Momma and her "work." Phht. Whatever that is. 
EM: Brothers aren't so bad. Last night when Momma put me on the floor, you let me rub up against you and you licked my ears.
BC: Don't remind me. When was the last time you washed those things?
EM: Err ... the last time you licked me?
BC: Eww.
EM: You told me that if they can't appreciate my beauty, screw them. You think I'm pretty!
BC: Only when you keep that tail out of my face.
EM: So you admit it! I'm proud of my tail! 
BC: Will it shut you up for at least thirty minutes?

EM: FINE!
BC: Thank you.
{A few minutes pass}
EM: Has it been thirty minutes?
BC: {sigh} NO! I'll tell you when the thirty minutes are over!
EM: What if you forget?
BC: Let me tell you ... there are some things a cat can't ever forget.
EM: I'm that important to you?
BC: That's one word for it.
EM: Has it been thirty minutes yet?
BC: NO! I TOLD you I'd tell you when they're over.
EM: So you didn't forget?
BC: NO! Now leave me alone!
EM: Well, you can't forget me if I sit right here ...
BC: As long as you SHUT UP, I don't care where you go.
EM: Oh! Cool! Let's share the cat ...
BC: HEY! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY CAT BED! We aren't on snuggling terms!
{Pause}
BC: Why do I get the feeling she does this on purpose? Another one of her "games." Her "games" are annoying to no end - and yet, my games and her games can't be ignored. To-may-toe, to-mah-toe.
EM: Did you say ... TUNA?!?!
BC: {sigh} It's going to be a long day. Just like yesterday and every other day since Smellie moved in.

Featured posts:

Friday, October 5, 2018

Adventures, misadventures and other stories, Part 1 #ChewyInfluencer

Momma's still feeling miserable due to her sunburn and not feeling up to much. We owe Chewy a review for September however, so we'll at least share that. If you missed our other review for Chewy this month (and the sequel to this post), you may find it here: Adventures, misadventures and other stories, Part 2 #ChewyInfluencer.

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae

MK: It's time for our Chewy review.
{Silence}
MK: Kittens?!
{Silence}
MK: I know you both are here!
{Silence}
MK: We have work to do!
{Silence}
MK: @#$%. I should've known.
{Pause}
MK: Don't make me come find you!!! Kittens? Hello? Have you lost your mittens?
EM: Not that joke again.
MK: Finally! Come on, Ellie! Get up! We have stuff to do.
EM: Do I look like I do "stuff?" Stuff is why I pay my staff.

MK: You PAY your staff? How exactly do you pay your staff?
EM: They're allowed to be in my company.
MK: The longer you're here ... the more like Bear you become!
BC: {from the other room} HEY! I'm INSULTED!
EM: HEY! I'm even MORE insulted!
BC: {from the other room} SHUT UP, Stupid!
EM: YOU shut up, Dumbo!
BC: {from the other room} Make me!
EM: YOU make ME!
BC: I will ... as soon as I finish my nap.
EM: You better sleep with one eye open.
BC: You're so big, I can see you with both eyes closed.
MK: {walking toward Bear} Come on, Bear! We have stuff to do.
BC: But I'm comfy! Can I sleep for another few minutes?

MK: That's what you said an hour ago!

BC: Unless this is about food or tasty whole chickens or a bazooka, I don't care!

MK: FOOD!
BC: Why didn't you say that before?
EM: Did you say ... FOOD?!?

MK: Right. I forgot the magic word. Nothing like the word "FOOD" to summon the masses.
BC: The masses?! Are you calling us fat?
MK: Err ...
BC: I KNEW IT!
MK: Come on! We got September's Chewy box today.
BC: OBVIOUSLY! Nothing gets in here without me noticing. You better not have ordered litter this month! Or anything with that "v" word!
EM: What'd we get?! What'd we get? Tuna? Chicken?
BC: Shut up. Momma hasn't even opened the box yet!
EM: Bear ...
BC: Get with it, Momma!

EM: {thinking to herself} He has no idea I'm behind the corner ... I'm going to show him!
{Pause}
EM: COWABUNGA!
BC: What the @#$%!?

EM: I got you, Bear!
BC: You got the cow and bung hole parts right ... at least in relation to you!
EM: HA!
BC: Why can't you keep your whacky-paws to yourself? LEAVE. ME. ALONE.
EM: Make me!
BC: Momma! Tell Smellie to leave me alone! She pounced on me!
EM: I have no idea what you're talking about.

BC: I dare you to try that again!
EM: {thinking to herself} 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1...

MK: BOTH OF YOU! KNOCK it OFF! Or NEITHER of you will get to try this new food!
BC: We owe Chewy a review ... does that mean YOU'LL try it? Or maybe you'll feed it to The Boy without him knowing? Nah. He'll never believe your cooking can taste that good.
EM: But I want the new food!
BC: She's not going to ACTUALLY try it herself or give it to The Boy!
EM: How do YOU know?
BC: It's CAT food.
EM: But ... but ... food is so yummy. If they ate our food ... what would we eat?
BC: Oh, for the love ...

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Disclosure: We received Fancy Feast Appetizers White Meat Chicken in a Tuna Broth Cat Treats [1.1-oz tray, case of 10] - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Fancy Feast nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: This month we have tuna and chicken.
BC: A tasty whole chicken?
MK: {sigh} No. 
EM: TUNAS?!?
MK: We got Fancy Feast Appetizers White Meat Chicken in a Tuna Broth and Wellness CORE Simply Shreds Grain-Free Tuna & Shrimp Wet Cat Food Topper. 
EM: Can we try this one, Momma?! PLEASE?!

BC: Mommm-mmma! I wanna try this one! Stupid Smellie always gets to pick!
EM: I NEVER get to pick!

BC: So you admit to being stupid and smelly?
EM: You chose the one I didn't just to mess with me!
BC: Usually, you'd choose the tuna!
EM: So you're a copy cat!
BC: I'm screwed! I can't win!
EM: You could shut up! That's a win/win for all of us!
MK: Okay ... I'm going to pick the food for tonight randomly with my eyes closed!
{Pause}
MK: Fancy Feast Appetizers White Meat Chicken in a Tuna Broth it is!
EM: NUTS.
MK: I thought you wanted the chicken!
EM: Well, that was before it was what we're getting!
MK: More and more like Bear ...
BC: HEY! I am not nearly that ugly and not nearly that stupid!
EM: And I'm not nearly as much of a jackass!
BC: Let me show you what a jackass I can be!
MK: HEY! Put those claws and fangs away! Or I'm eating this myself!
BC: Really? Is that supposed to make me be good? Because I'm DEFINITELY tempted to watch you eat our food.
EM: That would be horrible! That's not even funny to joke about!
MK: Anyway. Fancy Feast Appetizers White Meat Chicken in a Tuna Broth is a complement to a complete and balanced diet - not complete and balanced on its own. It's made with high quality protein, is grain free AND the tuna broth supports proper hydration.

BC: But how does it taste?
MK: Give me just a second ... each pack is about half a three ounce can of what we feed - so you'll each get one pack. Ohh! This looks really good! And I know you love Fancy Feast!

BC: Did you say Fancy Feast?! Count me in!
MK: Here.
{Both cats sniff at their food}
BC: {thinking to himself} I don't want to give her the satisfaction ... but this is just too good to not eat.

{Pause as Bear chows down}
BC: {thinking to himself} I love chicken. I love Chewy. I love my Momma.
{Pause}
BC: {thinking to himself} Though not in that order ...

EM: {thinking to herself} MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Chicken. YUM.
{Pause}
EM: {thinking to herself} YUM. This is really good ... don't tell tunas ... but this is worth cheating on tunas for.

{The cats finish their wet food treat}
MK: So are you two happy?
EM: OOOOOOOOOH. Too. Full. To. Move ...

BC: WHAT?!?! Why's this bag near the door?! You thought you'd distract me with tasty food ... but I see your bag here.


{Pause} 
BC: Where are you going?
MK: Ummmm ... The Boy and I are going on vacation to the Gulf Coast of Florida.
EM: Do they have tuna there?
BC: What? How can you have a vacation without us?
{Pause as Bear thinks and looks at Ellie}
BC: Never mind.
MK: As I've said before, Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Fancy Feast Appetizers White Meat Chicken in a Tuna Broth Cat Treats [1.1-oz tray, case of 10]? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.