L: Latte [tortie/tabby lady cat aka "Kitten"]
MK: Momma Kat [Latte and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]
MK: Come on, Ellie! You need to take your meds!
EM: Take your @*#($ medicines and #()@ your %#($ with them!
L: What does #()@ mean?
MK: LATTE!
EM: And *#(@* your @#*)% where it #$(#)@ing came from!
L: I've gotta write these down!
MK: Latte, you're not helping!
L: I'm not trying to help! I'm taking notes!
EM: Latte, #*@(# your #($*ing mother!
L: How do you spell "#*@(#?"
EM: @*#( *#&@*ing $*#(@!!!!!!
MK: Bear's potty mouth: the gift that keeps on giving.
EM: What are you talking about?! I learned all these words from riding in your backseat for three hours to my oncology appointments! Your mouth is more foul than Latte's litter box!
L: HEY!
MK: {thinking} Huh. That's fair.
L: HEY!
MK: No! Not your litter box. My language while I'm driving.
EM: You should hear what she says about the ...
MK: ELLIE! They drive 65 in the 70-mile-per-hour zone IN THE FAST LANE!
EM: That's the SPEED LIMIT.
MK: It's more of a guideline.
EM: That's not what you thought when the state trooper suddenly turned around behind you!
{CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH ... as Latte watches intently}
MK: Latte!
EM: Are you eating from MY kibble stack on MY scratcher?!?
L: Don't mind me! This is getting good!
MK: He didn't pull me over!
EM: Yeah! Because you started going 50 and then pulled a quick right off the highway without signaling.
L: DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYMN. Momma evading the po po!
MK: I'm sorry. Do you want to sit in the backseat for an additional 20 minutes because I'm going 65 the whole way?
EM: Erm ...
L: This is more entertaining than watching that really fat opposum try to balance as he walks along the retaining wall outside my window!
MK: We're here every night at 7 pm.
L: If I sold tickets we could pay Ellie's medical bills.
EM: WAIT! You PAY them to do horrible things to me?!?
MK: I pay them to save your life.
EM: Oh.
MK: But to help them do that, I need to give you these meds.
EM: No, thank you.
MK: Ellie Mae.
EM: {sigh} It's too bad I can't make a quick right turn off the highway - without signaling - to avoid you.
MK: No. I know that one.
{Med time commences}
EM: I'm not sending you a Christmas Card this year! Ha! That'll show you! You are no longer on my Christmas Card list!
L: Wait! I've lived here for four Christmases, and I've never received a Christmas card from you!
EM: You can't read!
L: Neither can you!
MK: I've never received a Christmas Card either.
L: Oh, so it's like an empty threat? Like when you say you're going to ground us?
MK: It's not an empty threat! I could ground you! I just choose not to.
L: Oh! Does she look like a smurf-eater now? I wanna see! I wanna see!
EM: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
L: Momma calls you Smurf-eater because one of your pills has a bright blue coating, so after she pills you, the inside of your mouth is bright blue! Like you ate a Smurf! I wanna see!
EM: As if the meds aren't insulting enough!
{Pause}
EM: Asking for a friend ... do Smurfs taste like tuna? Because I'd be up for that.
MK: Ugh.
{Ten minutes pass ... Momma lies in bed and notices Ellie sitting next to her, staring at her ....}
EM: Erm ... umm ...
MK: Snuggles?
EM: Maybe ...
MK: But you're still mad at me.
EM: VERY mad.
MK: I understand.
EM: I'm still not sending you a Christmas Card.
MK: That's fair.
EM: I love you, Momma.
MK: I love you, too, Ellie.
© 2025 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2025. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Awww, what sweet kitty girls... (ahahahaha)
ReplyDeleteIf you could see my smile!
ReplyDelete