Friday, December 28, 2018

The Christmas calamity #ChewyInfluencer

With Momma's family in town, we won't be visiting much for the rest of the week. Next week, we'll resume our regular visiting schedule.

BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

{Momma and The Boy are lounging on the couch watching TV on Christmas Eve}
BC: {sniff sniff} Are those ... CHEEZ-ITS?!?!
The Boy: Want some, BuddyBear?
BC: Happy Christmas to me! Happy Christmas to me!
{Pause as The Boy crumbs a few and puts them where Bear can reach them}
BC: Hmph. Getting stingy in your old age.
The Boy: Excuse me? Would you rather I NOT share my Cheez-its at all?
MK: I can't believe you give him Cheez-its ... AND HE EATS THEM!
BC: Have you ever had a Cheez-it, Momma? You'd understand.
MK: I've eaten boxes, Bear.
BC: So your doughnut butt isn't really a doughnut butt, but a Cheez-it butt? And where have you been stashing them all these years?
MK: How did we get here?
BC: Let's see ... there was a Big Bang and a bunch of other stuff ... and then your parents ... well, you know.
The Boy: I think that was a rhetorical question, Bear.
BC: SHEESH! Like I can read Momma's mind! I just get a bunch of static and error messages! I swear! There's nothing there to read!
MK: {getting up} I'll be right back.
BC: Is it something I said? I swear. She gets more and more temperamental as she gets older. Oh! Momma's spot on the couch is vacated. Hmmm ... I bet it's warm ... and it would be the optimal place to appropriate more Cheez-its ...
The Boy: Come on, Bear ... jump up and sit next to me!
BC: Sitting next to The Boy ... might get Boyties ... HMPH! That'll teach her not to walk away from me!
{Bear jumps on the couch just in time for Momma's return}
MK: HEY! That's my ...
BC: The Boy gives me Cheez-its!
The Boy: Yeah. We're having a man thing here.
MK: Wasn't that what you were doing when you two had a peeing and barfing contest?
BC: YES!
The Boy: NO! We never did that.
BC: {mumbling to himself} Much. 
MK: Come on, Bear! Can I please have my spot?
BC: Daddy's going to give me more Cheez-its! He said so! YOU don't give me Cheez-its!

MK: Bear, MOVE! That's my spot.
BC: Not anymore! I'm having a moment with my Daddy!
MK: WHO?
BC: My Daddy!
{Pause}
BC: NUTS! HWK! HWK! Purr ... hiss ... purr ... hiss ... 
MK: Great. He's broken again. His brain is like a computer's ... sometimes it gets overwhelmed and stuck in a loop processing its little heart out and getting no where.
The Boy: What do we do with him?
MK: I'll pick him up and put him in the cat bed until his brain goes back to processing normally ... I have to be very careful not to trigger the shark ... once that bomb goes off ...
{Fifteen minutes pass and Momma sits back down on the couch; Bear's snoring in his cat bed}
EM: Mew m'ow mew meeee'ow!
MK: What? I can't understand you, Ellie! You're talking too fast!
EM: M'w m'row mew mewn meow!
BC: Yellie strikes again.
MK: What's she saying?
BC: She wants to know when Santa's going to be here.
MK: WHAT?!?  
BC: Big man in red!
EM: M'ow mew meeee'ow!
BC: She says we don't have a chimney!
MK: Santa doesn't care whether we have one or not.
EM: Mew meeeee-ow mew 'ow.
BC: Now that's ridiculous! I wouldn't assault the reindeer unless they look at me funny!
EM: Me 'ow mew 'ow!

MK: What's she saying?
BC: We're doomed.
MK: I must've missed a step here. We're doomed because we don't have a chimney?
BC: PAY ATTENTION! She's worried I'll intimidate the reindeer. I told her I won't mess with the reindeer unless they look at me funny and she said we're doomed!
EM: M'ow mew me'ow!
BC: You have to go hide under the bed ... AND LEAVE ME ALONE ... before Santa will come.
MK: Bear ...
BC: WHAT?! I'm just trying to make sure Smellie doesn't bother me ... err, Santa comes!
EM: Can the sleigh go without snow?
MK: Of course! Much of the world doesn't have snow this time of year.
EM: What about the cookies and milk!? We don't want to give Santa any reason not to leave presents!
BC: Yeah. Miss Doughnut Butt needs cookies!
MK: HEY!
EM: AND MILK! Don't forget the milk! Wait a ...
{Pause}
EM: Why would Momma eat Santa's cookies?
BC: I hear Santa near by!
EM: I don't hear anything!

BC: QUICK! Smellie, run and hide under the bed so he stops!
EM: Oh! Good idea! I'll hide under the bed! Let me know when he's been here and leaves presents!
{Ellie runs under the bed ... or as much as she fits under the bed anyway}
EM: I'm waiting!
MK: Bear, that wasn't very nice! 
BC: I'm a CAT. We don't do nice! If she weren't so stupid ...
MK: You know she's only going to fall for that once!
{Bear stares at Momma}
MK: {sigh} A year. Bear ...
BC: What about those Cheez-its? Don't think I'm sharing my Cheez-its with her.
The Boy: MY Cheez-its.
BC: WHATEVER!
MK: Bear, if you're hungry we have one more Chewy review to do this month.
BC: I'm hungry for Cheez-its!
MK: You've created a monster.
BC: DAAAAAAAAAAADDY!
MK: OKAY! Who's ready for our review of food?
BC: {whispering} I just got Smellie out of here! If she hears food ... she'll come out from being under the bed and leaving me in peace and be all up in my grill again!
MK: Bear ...
BC: FINE! If she has to be here ... just FINE! Ruin my Christmas Eve. If she asks me about Santa one more time ... 
EM: Did someone say food? And SANTA? Is he here yet?

BC: I thought you were waiting under the bed for Santa to get here.
EM: You weren't under the bed!
BC: That's because Santa and I are old friends.
EM: Well, I'll make friends with Santa too! He'd probably love to admire my tail and everything. I'll even share my scratcher with him!
BC: SEE what I have to put up with? Leave Smellie and Santa alone for a few minutes and they'll be braiding each others' hair and chatting away all night! Then the kids won't get their presents!

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Disclosure: We received Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food, (5.5-oz, case of 12) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Hill's Science Diet nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: This time, we're trying Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food.

BC: Vegetable nonsense?
MK: Nope.
BC: You're not trying to trick me?
MK: Nope. Definitely no veggies. The chunks of meat are kind of big for your liking - and the gravy is rich - but there's not nearly enough.
BC: How about some Cheez-its?
{Pause}
MK: This variety pack comes with tender chicken dinner, tender tuna dinner, and tender oceanfish dinner. 
BC: Any can that says "dinner" is sketchy - or at the very least, a mess of ingredients they don't want to promote as being part of the food. 
MK: Yes, I know that's the case usually. The ingredients between the flavors are mostly the same. They're made with natural ingredients plus vitamins, minerals and amino acids to deliver flavor, nutrition, and support a cat's metabolism.
BC: MoooooooooooooMMA!
MK: At least try it! Here!
BC: I don't think so. Nope. Not gonna eat it.
EM: Hmmmm ... I don't know about this ... the gravy is yummy ... 
{Pause}
EM: NOPE!
MK: Are you two for real? NEITHER of you will eat it? Bear, you set a bad example for your sister.
BC: Phht. Unless you want your rhino ... and by that, I mean Smellie ... to grow in size, you might thank me.
EM: Don't worry, Momma. I don't let Bear tell me what to eat or not eat. Food is too yummy to miss out on because of a grumpy-pants.
BC: Except when I make elephant noises behind you when you eat kibble.
EM: {sigh} Yeah. Except for that.
BC: And that's SIR Grumpy Pants to you!
{Silence}
MK: {sigh} You two. You might not have liked this food, but Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?
BC: Hmmm ... with your proclivity to "chat," you could make a few new friends and spare us the blah blah blah. Smellie! Go back under the bed!
EM: Do I have to?
BC: Do you want presents from Santa?
EM: YES!
BC: Then go! Or he'll skip this house!
EM: OH, NO! BYE!

We tried a second flavor of this food and neither cat would even sniff it. I'm not entirely sure what that means ... except that my cats don't like this food. 

Interested in trying Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food, (5.5-oz, case of 12)? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

A Momma Kat Christmas

As you might've noticed, our blog's been uncharacteristically quiet in terms of Christmas and the Holiday Season. Every year for the past three years, Bear's put on a Christmas show and given Momma lists of the items he wants for Christmas. Momma just couldn't find the wherewithal or spirit this year to repeat that tradition. If you want to read about Bear's past Christmas shows and lists, the links follow at the very end of this post.

Now for snippets of conversation heard around the Momma Kat household in the lead up to Christmas ...

Bear's Christmas list:



Ellie's Christmas list:



Bear makes friends ...




Our sweet girl ...


Rudolph, the tasty reindeer ...



From "On tasty reindeer (part 2 - Christmas day)," from "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 15 (2015).

The Christmas tree ...





Bear's stocking ...






Candy cane duel ...



Did you miss the prior forking Ellie refers to? Forking Bear.

THE list ...





The good news ...




Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to our readers, supporters - and in the end, friends. We wish you all the magic, love, happiness, and peace of the season no matter if you celebrate or what you celebrate.




To read about Bear's previous Christmas shows ...


Christmas-related posts from years past ...

Friday, December 21, 2018

Side surfing #ChewyInfluencer

During Winter, Momma spends most of her sleeping hours with the covers over her head, laying on her side. The cats often climb on Momma's side. Occasionally, the effort to stay on her side involves some claws digging into tender flesh. Momma's tried to help a cat down - but the harder she tries to move, the harder they try to stay on her side. It's become a bit of a game. I don't have pictures of this - but I swear it happens! Momma can't help but feel like a rodeo horse! Because I lack pictures to illustrate the story, I hope you don't mind [quite possibly gratuitous] random pictures of the cats - my favorites of late.

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: I came up with a new game!
EM: SHH! Momma's sleeping! She said that if we wake her up again ...
BC: Watch this! The cowboy mounts his trusty steed. He's ready for the rough and tumble ride ahead. Yippee ki-yay, mother-meower!
{Pause}
BC: And he's OFF! Watch out!
EM: I really don't think that this is very smart ... 
BC: YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!
EM: ... but it does look kind of fun ...
BC: He holds on for dear life! The steed almost throws the intrepid rider off!
EM: You're THE MAN, Bear!
BC: OBVIOUSLY! Say it again!

EM: Err ...
BC: SAY IT!
EM: You're the man?
BC: WITH CONVICTION!
EM: Err ... you're the man!
BC: HA! Tell The Boy that! I am THE MAN. He hasn't gotten the message yet.
EM: Hold on! Hold on! You're going to get thrown!
BC: Ride em' cowboy!
EM: That looks like so much fun!
BC: Momma! Try harder to throw me off my horse!
EM: It's MY turn! Momma, tell Bear it's MY turn!
MK: {from under the covers} It's no one's turn! I'm trying to sleep and Bear's surfing on my side.
BC: I prefer to think of it as a rodeo. The ladies dig that stuff. I'm a rough and tumble cowboy.
EM: But it's MY turn! That's not fair! Bear got to play bucking bronco! I want to play!
MK: AND I WANT TO SLEEP! Not have either of you lying on my side, trying not to fall off.
BC: Phht. Trying. Succeeding.
MK: This isn't a game!
BC: Go faster, Momma!
MK: Are you just not listening to me?
BC: You sound surprised.
MK: Uh huh.
BC: RATS! Oop ...
MK: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Claw! There's a claw!
BC: Just one? Hold on ...
MK: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
EM: She threw you off!
BC: SHE DID NOT! I ... I ... slipped!
EM: It's MY turn!

MK: Ellie ...
EM: WHAT?!?! Bear can do it but I can't?
MK: Technically, Bear couldn't do it either. I kept trying to knock him off and he just held on.
BC: It was fun! Let's do it again!
MK: NO! I want you off me so I can sleep.
BC: Not with a wet nose in your ear.
MK: Hence, part of the problem. Thus the covers over my head.
BC: Finding your breathing hole and sticking a claw up your nose is just as effective.
MK: BEAR!
BC: I don't know why you're so grumpy! You act like you haven't slept in days!
EM: Technically ...
BC: Oh, SHUT UP SUCK UP! Humans. Always whining. 
EM: That's not really fair, considering how you act when something isn't as you'd like.
BC: I don't WHINE. I kick some wimpy, mother-meowing butt!
EM: Oh, really? What did the facial tissue box do to you that you didn't like?
BC: It looked at me!
EM: Which time?
BC: ALL OF THEM! I don't expect you to understand a feeling of superiority ... and the poor saps who just want to knock you down.
MK: Bear, can't I sleep?
BC: Phht. I dare you to try.

MK: This isn't a game!
BC: Last night you were working and told me not to bother you while you finished a post!
MK: I lose track of what I'm thinking when I'm interrupted so often!
BC: Right. Because you're INTERRUPTED. It has NOTHING to do with you being a hair-brained ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: WHAT?!? You said not to disturb your work last night and now you're mad because I want to be close to you while you try to sleep?
MK: Ummm ... hmm ...
BC: So when am I supposed to get my cuddles, woman?
MK: I see your point.
BC: You see my POINT? Singular? You know me better than ...
MK: Yeah. Because your other ones are embedded in my flesh.
BC: I'M NOT SORRY!
MK: A little petting time can't hurt ...
{Momma pets the cats for a few minutes by sticking one arm out of her cocoon}
EM: I wanna ride! It's my turn, Momma!
MK: {mumbling to herself} Geez. This is just ridiculous! How about you both just curl up NEXT to me?
EM: That doesn't sound nearly as fun!
MK: {unintelligibly} Wah-roun-et-fellll ...
EM: She fell asleep! How rude! I want my turn! Oh, sure. The PRINCE gets to do what he wants but I have to do without!

BC: Hardly. That might be true of the PRINCESS - Her Royal Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest.
EM: Who's THAT?
BC: ME!
EM: But you can't be a princess! You're a boy!
BC: That's discrimination! Just because I'm a boy doesn't mean I'm not princess-y.
EM: You're ridiculous.
BC: Why does everyone keep saying that to me?
{Momma snores lightly}
BC: Oh, great! You let Momma fall asleep!
EM: You made Momma wake up!
BC: That's my job!
EM: Being obnoxious? I don't know about your job, but you're definitely good at it.
BC: I'm hungry. See you later.
{Bear jumps down off the bed and Ellie sits on Momma's side}
MK: BEAR! Knock it off! Stop side surfing! I'm trying to ...
BC: {from the other room} WHAT?!? I'm not doing anything!

{Pause}
BC: Err ... really. I mean, I know I usually say that I'm not doing anything even when I am - but this time, I'm really not doing anything!
EM: Hi, Momma! You told Bear to get off but I'm sure you don't mind me side surfing.
BC: Phht. Like you could get us confused. I don't weigh a pawtrillion pounds, like a certain moose of a sister. Not to mention I have handsome stripey-pants ... and not whatever you call ... THAT!
EM: A luxurious black coat! That's what I call it!
BC: The only thing luxurious about you is your weight.
EM: Shut up!
BC: After you!
MK: {coming out from under the covers} I'm starting to think you two do this on purpose. You switch places while I sleep or do other stuff - and since it's the exact same spot, I'm sure it's the same cat.
BC: AHHH! It's a woolly mammoth! No! A furry ogre! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
MK: Bear? It's just me!
BC: In the body of a woolly mammoth? I don't even want to know HOW THAT happened.
MK: No. I had the sheets over my head and that messes with my hair ...
BC: Oh.

{Pause}
BC: Momma's out of her igloo! We won!
MK: WHAT?!?! The game was really about ...
EM: Bear's pretty smart.
BC: Underestimate me at your own peril.
EM: What do we get for winning?
MK: Err ... new food to review? 
BC: What about that 'v' word?
EM: Victory?
BC: It'll be violence if you don't shut up.
MK: This isn't working. 
BC: No. It's just YOU that's not working.
MK: {sigh} Might as well just get up.
EM: YAY!!! Food ... and ... and ... laps ... and ... and ... so much fun!
BC: So help me, if I see even one vegetable ...

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Disclosure: We received Natural Balance Delectable Delights O'Fishally Scampi Stew Grain-Free Wet Cat Food [2.5-oz, case of 12] - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Natural Balance nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: As part of Chewy's Influencer program, we're trying 
Natural Balance Delectable Delights O'Fishally Scampi Stew Grain-Free Wet Cat Food.

{Ellie noses around the closed box}
EM: I thought you said this was fish! It doesn't smell like fish!

BC: That's the box!
MK: BEAR! Be nice. I wasn't really clear I suppose ...
BC: So. Stupid. It. Hurts. Heck. A head injury would be an improvement.
MK: This Natural Balance Delectable Delights is labeled as stew. Chewy says it features lean, premium meats, limited carbohydrates, hydrating stew and gravy, and zero grains, corn, soy, wheat, artificial flavors, colors or bleached ingredients.

BC: I really hate when she does this.
EM: Yeah! Just feed us, Woman!


MK: It looks pretty tasty! Tuna, salmon, uh oh. Err and shrimp!


BC: What aren't you telling us? I don't like surprises.
EM: I thought you didn't like vegetables.
BC: That too!
MK: {setting down the plates for the cats} Okay you two. Fishy coming up!
BC: Numnumnumnumnumnum ... VEGETABLE!
{Pause}
BC: Phht. Phht. PATOOEY! Yuck! No, thanks!
EM: WHAT?! So we can't eat this food? Because it smells really tasty ...
BC: Be strong. I'm not eating this on principle!
EM: Okay. I'll lay on the couch and try not to think about that fishy goodness.
BC: Don't cheat!
EM: I won't!
{Thirty minutes pass}
{Momma comes back to the same room as the wet food plates}
MK: WHOA! Ellie ate all of hers! 
BC: HEY!
MK: You win some. You lose some. Bear refused to eat his plate, but Ellie emptied hers while I wasn't watching.
EM: I ate my food, Momma! It was good, too! We're so lucky you get us tons of good stuff.
BC: HWK. HWK. 
EM: Look out, fur ball incoming!
BC: Nope. Just a kiss up!
EM: I'd rather be a kiss up than grounded for the rest of my nine lives like you! 
MK: I'm going back to bed so I don't have to listen to this.
EM: YAY! We should play bucking bronco where I ride your side and you try to knock me off!
MK: {sigh} Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Natural Balance Delectable Delights O'Fishally Scampi Stew Grain-Free Wet Cat Food [2.5-oz, case of 12]? Go visit Chewy and order a case for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.


Featured post:
If you missed Bear's announcement about being a princess: in "Conversations" With Bear Cat: Part 22 ("On tiaras," part 1 and part 2).

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Bear finally gets his tasty whole chicken

We recently received five different OurPets toys. Over the next couple months, we're going to review them on the blog. OurPets says it best: "The OurPets product line features a variety of premium, innovative, quality toys, accessories, feeding and waste management solutions specially designed to awaken a pet’s natural instincts." The products are specifically designed to promote strong bonds between pets and their people. We found out about OurPets on another blog reviewing their products. I was excited to try something different - toys my cats can play with on their own. Time and time again, Bear misbehaves when he's bored. As much as I'd love to always put him first, that's just not reality. To read more about boredom in cats, and Bear's struggles especially, please see: Are your cats bored? I wish we'd had these toys when Bear was younger and more active - there were times his bored antics - as I tried to accomplish the smallest task - left me in tears. And now, I don't get to play with Ellie nearly as much as I'd like to. These toys provide an outlet for cats' natural instinctual behavior. To read more about these instincts: Feline instincts.



Today, we're reviewing Bear's favorite OurPets toy by far: Bird in a Cage.



I'm going to let the pictures tell the story - you can see how much fun he's having! These pictures were taken over a series of four or five nights - so the positioning is slightly different - but the fun is the same. We'll review the other toys soon.


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Disclosure: We received OurPets® Bird in a Cage TM [including batteries] - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - Our Pets is not responsible for the contents of this post.

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Bear gives this toy ten claws up, and Ellie came around in the end to agree! Get a Bird in a Cage for your own favorite feline!