Friday, August 30, 2019

We love Kitty Kick Stix!

Bear's in a ... loving mood but Ellie just can't catch a break. Why's Bear being so easy to live with? Catnip. Catnip. Catnip. And it's the GOOD stuff!

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

BC: I love you, Momma!
MK: I love you too ...
BC: I love you, couch.
MK: Ummmmm ...
BC: I love you, carpet!
{Pause}
BC: I love you, litter box!
{Pause}
BC: I love you, wall.
{Pause}
BC: I love you, Kitty Kick Stix!
EM: Huh?!

BC: I love you, pounce house!
EM: OH! I've been waiting for this moment for over two years! He's going to tell me he loves me! I just casually place myself in front of him ...

BC: I love you ...
EM: YES?!
BC: ... table.
EM: {looking around} Oh, come on! I'm right here!

BC: I love you, food bowl!
{Pause}
BC: I REALLY love you, food.
EM: I'm going to make myself the next thing he sees ...
BC: I love you, water bowl.
EM: {AHEM}.
BC: Nope.

EM: What?!?! You missed me the first time ...
BC: Believe me ... no one can miss you when you're the size of an airplane hangar.
{Pause}
BC: I love you, toy I never play with.
EM: That's just wrong! I'm mad at him until he says what I know he wants to say to me.
{Pause}
EM: Good thing the bag is still here. It loves me!

MK: What is up with Bear?
EM: Like I know! He's got a serious attitude problem!
MK: Didn't he tell you he loves you?
EM: Phht. I don't care whether he loves me or not.
MK: What got into him? Did he eat some old food? Or walk into a wall?
BC: I love you, Momma!
MK: Ugh.
BC: I love you, Daddy.
The Boy: HUH?! {looking around} Are you talking to ... me?!?
EM: Oh! Now that's the final straw! He loves Daddy but not me! Phht. Like I'm worse than Daddy.
The Boy: I think Bear's under the influence ...
EM: Of a bad attitude? 
The Boy: No. Remember earlier?!
MK: Oh, yeah. These kick stix must be the good stuff!
EM: Not good enough for him to tell me he loves me!
{Loud snoring is heard from Bear's pile of catnip toys}


Disclosure: We received two Kitty Kick Stix {one Clawtastically 15" Kitty Kick Stix and one regular 15" Kitty Kick Stix} - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - Kitty Kick Stix is not responsible for the contents of this post. 

EARLIER IN THE DAY:
The Boy: I brought in the mail. There was a package for you. I set it on your table.
MK: Okay.
{Momma finds only plastic bag pieces on the table}
MK: Ummmm ... where?

The Boy: {walking into the room} IT WAS THERE A MINUTE AGO!
MK: I bet they were the Kitty Kick Stix. Now we have to find Ellie. Wherever Ellie is, so is that bag.
EM: I'll get in here if it's the last thing I do!
MK: Ellie?!

EM: Can't you see I'm busy?

{Pause}
EM: I'm trying to get in this bag!!!

MK: Where did you get this bag?
EM: Err ... I found it?

MK: You wouldn't happen to know how pieces of the bag were chewed off on the table, would you?
EM: Err ... NO?!
BC: {arriving on the scene} OH! I'd know that smell anywhere! KITTY KICK STIX!!!
EM: But I found it ... it's mine!
MK: They're over here, guys!

MK: We received two Kitty Kick Stix: one Clawtastically 15" Kitty Kick Stix and one regular 15" Kitty Kick Stix.

EM: Now I have this fantastic smelling bag to myself!
BC: The good stuff is over here! Oh, who cares. More for me!





















MK: Wow. These Kick Stix must be extra good if he doesn't eat treats I set out!


































More information on Kitty Kick Stix:

Interested in trying Kitty Kick Stix for your own feline? Kitty Kick Stix. Or connect with them on social media: Facebook or Instagram.

© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com. 

Featured post:
If you missed our last Kitty Kick Stix review: The shark hits the wall.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

The cat in the hat

Bear finds the perfect gift for himself - lying around the house - and doesn't care when it doesn't quite fit (in more ways than one). Instead, he parades around for a day, showing off his new prize, irritating Momma with his grandiosity, and insulting his sister at every turn. Momma's Princess or Daddy's Girl?

BC: Bear Cat Kat 
MK: Momma Kat 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

BC: Do de do ... la de da ...
{Something catches Bear's eye}
BC: HEEEEEEEEELLLOOOOO!
{Pause as Bear looks around}
BC: Are you cake?! Because I want a piece of you!

{Pause}
BC: I wonder what these are for. They're just sitting here ...
{Pause}
BC: And they're my favorite color too!!!
{Pause}
BC: Momma's princess? That's ME! This hat is for me! She got me a hat!




{Pause}
BC: Err ... actually, she got me two. I wonder why she thought I need two hats.
{Pause}
BC: {GASP!!!} She made one for Smellie! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL NO! Nope. Not gonna happen. EVER. 
{Pause as Bear looks around again}
BC: Hmm ... don't mind if I do. They are for me anyway ...
{Bear puts on one of the hats and the hat slips down so Bear can't see}
BC: That's right! I'm the boss! This hat fits me perfectly! I love this hat! AWESOME! Just like me!
{Pause}
BC: It's too bad I can't see. I'd love to see how handsome I am!
{Ellie walks by}
BC: PSST! SMELLIE!
EM: AHHH! Where are you?

BC: Behind the hat!
EM: Erm ... uh ...
MK: {walking into the room} Oh, for the love ...
BC: I'm handsome, aren't I? 
EM: Umm ... Bear?!
{Momma giggles}
BC: WHAT?!?! Who's laughing?!
MK: Bear ...
BC: Oh. I see. Laugh at the poor joker who ISN'T wearing this hat! Hahahahahahaha. I laugh with you.
EM: No, see ... 
{Pause}
EM: Wait. You can't see.
{Pause}
EM: That hat doesn't say ...
MK: SHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: I can't hear you because the hat is over my eyes!
EM: Huh?!
MK: {whispering} Just let him be ... 
{Momma and Ellie laugh}
BC: Pity the fool!
EM: More than you think.
MK: Hahahahahaha.
{Pause}
MK: Bear, I think that hat is too big for you!
BC: Phht. No. My HEAD is too big for this hat!

{Silence}
BC: Somehow that sounded better in my head.
EM: Do you hear an echo with all the empty space in your head?
MK: Oddly enough, your big head IS the problem. But not with that hat ...
BC: Momma, I love my hats!
EM: YOUR ...
MK: SHHHH!
BC: You're finally recognizing my masculine ferocity. It's overwhelming, isn't it? Do I look extra mysterious with the bill over my eyes?
MK: Very handsome.
BC: And?
MK: Mysterious.
BC: And ...
MK: {trying not to laugh} And masculine.
BC: BINGO! And to think you were going to give Smellie one of these hats.
EM: They aren't the s ...
MK: SHHH!
BC: Momma's princess! That's right! Phht. Smellie could never don this hat without everyone laughing at her.
EM: HEY!
MK: Bear, you can adjust the ...
BC: NO! I LIKE it this way! This is how all the cool kitties wear it.
EM: But I've never seen any cats wearing ...
MK: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: Momma, take pictures of me posing around the house! Maybe I can make a calendar! I want to be a pin-up! Shades of Momma's Princess! Around the castle of Momma's Princess! You may call me Princess Buttercup Black Bear Cat of the Forest.
EM: Nah. I'll just keep calling you a jerk.
BC: Momma! Get your camera out! I'm adorable, aren't I?

EM: What an @$$.
BC: Thank you! But I want pictures of my face here ... you can immortalize my best side another time.
EM: Oh, that's it! LET ME SET YOU STRAIGHT, MISTER ...
MK: ELLIE!
EM: LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM! I'M GOING TO TEACH HIM A LESSON HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
BC: As if I could forget you're a loser.
EM: WHAT?!?! What did you just say to me? I'm going to kick your @$$ to kingdom come and back ... take that stupid hat off so you can see me dominate ...
MK: ELLIE!
EM: Momma, this is exactly what Daddy was talking to you about ... giving in to Bear's craziness ...
BC: It's not crazy when you look this good! I forgive you for not understanding.
MK: Yes, but LOOK at him. Can you not see the value in taking tons of photographic evidence?
EM: Good call.
MK: I learn quickly.
BC: Where to start? Where to start?! THE CAT TREE!
MK: Bear, you can't jump with the hat over your eyes like that!
BC: Phht. CAN'T! That word isn't in my vocabulary.

EM: You just said it!
BC: Fine. Smellie will help me.
MK: That sounds like a bad idea. Especially with how much you've ticked her off in the last ten minutes.
BC: Aiming ...
EM: To the left! To the left!
BC: Ready to jump ... 
{THUNK!}
EM: Darn! Oops. I meant MY left!
BC: Ow.
EM: {mumbling} Serves you right for saying I could never wear a princess hat!
{Bear jumps again}
BC: And he sticks the landing!
{Ellie smacks Bear's hat off}
BC: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU JEALOUS?
{Pause}
BC: MOMMA! MOMMA! MOOOOOOOOOMMMMA! Can you hand me my hat?
MK: If it shuts you up ... here.
BC: Look, Momma! No hands! No hands! 
{Pause}
BC: I'm hanging out! Cool as a cucumber.

EM: Bear ...
MK: ELLIE!
EM: Sorry, Momma.
BC: Take a picture! Take a picture!
MK: I already did.
BC: Are you SURE?
MK: Yes.
BC: Can I see?
{Pause}
BC: No. Wait. I can't see NOW ... but I will after I'm done. Now ... where else?
{Pause}
BC: OH! I know! My shelf!
MK: That's it.
BC: WHAT?!?! PUT. ME. DOWN!!!!
MK: {setting Bear on the shelf} There.
BC: Oh. Cool. Working on my frequent flyer miles.

EM: More like a frequent ...
MK: ELLIE!
BC: Kind of a rough landing though. I don't suppose there's a snack included in my airfare ... though that would result in a very satisfied customer!
{Silence}
BC: Phht. Guess not. It was worth a try! Must be one of those rock-bottom-price, value air-carriers. Good thing I didn't have a bag because I would've had to pay to check it!
EM: You have to pay to check your bag? That's crazy! It's YOUR bag and you should be able to go into it anytime you want without paying!
{Silence}
BC: Take a picture, Momma!
EM: {mumbling to herself} I'll show YOU where to take a flying ...
MK: DONE!
EM: Daddy is going to be very upset when he finds out how you're encouraging ...
BC: {AHEM!}
MK: Excuse me?
BC: {AHEM!!!!!}
MK: WHAT?!!
BC: Err ... can you help me down since I can't see?
MK: Kitty diva.
BC: NO! Carry me!
MK: For the ...
BC: PUT ME DOWN!
MK: You're welcome.
{Another couple hours pass making the rounds of the house with Bear and his hat}
MK: Are you done with me taking pictures?
BC: I guess. Wait! Why don't we do a tour of my favorite sleeping spots!
{Pause}
BC: My cat cube bed! Wait wait! Let me pose!
{Pause}
BC: Yo! I'm sleeping!
MK: Got it.
BC: My bed!
MK: Lead the way.
BC: I'm ready!
{Pause}
BC: {posing} Why, yes. I do know I'm handsome.
MK: Done.
BC: One more bed!
MK: FINALLY.
BC: Let's switch it up a bit.
{Pause}
BC: Do you like my hat better sideways? I can see.
MK: That's a wrap!
BC: Not yet!
MK: Bear, we've already been at this for hours ...
{Pause}
BC: That's a wrap!
MK: For crying out ...
BC: I have to use the litter box.
MK: NO! 
EM: You don't want to ruin your hat! {mumbling to herself} Or my hat ...
BC: Phht. I'm not falling for that! You just want to steal my hat!
MK: Bear, I'll hang on to it.
BC: You won't let Smellie have it?
MK: No.
{Bear does his business}
BC: Hat me up, Sc ... err ... Momma.
MK: There you go.
BC: You're welcome.

MK: Can I work now?
BC: You could just look at me.
MK: Or you could let me work since I spent the entire afternoon taking pictures of you and looking at you.
BC: Can I see the pictures?
MK: Sure. I need to use the bathroom anyway.
BC: {looking at the pictures Momma took on the computer} I can see when I'm looking up! WOW! I'm even more handsome than I thought! Too bad I can't get in my own pants.

{Pause}
BC: The writing on the hat is too small to read in these thumbnail pictures!
{Pause}
BC: What does this button d ...
{Pause}
BC: Oops. Momma's going to get really mad. Think. I need to distract her. 
{Pause}
BC: OH!
{Bear climbs on Momma's desk}
BC: Use my handsomeness to distract her!
MK: {walking back into the room} BEAR! I can't work with you lying there!
BC: Well, TECHNICALLY, you couldn't work without me lying here.
MK: You don't think that's a little over the top?
BC: Ummm ... no.
MK: Wha ... WHAT BUTTON DID YOU PRESS?
BC: Err ... I don't know. I couldn't see while looking down.

MK: Never mind. Go take a nap.
BC: Great minds think alike.
MK: Finally. Silence. Peace. No divas or drama queens.
{Pause}
MK: Actually, maybe it's a bit TOO quiet in here.
{A couple hours pass while Bear sleeps and Momma works}
The Boy: {walking in the front door} I'm home!
BC: What are you looking at, fool?

The Boy: {seeing Bear and turning around} Nope.
{The front door closes behind The Boy}
MK: {walking into the room} I thought The Boy was home!
BC: I think I scared him off! Must've been the hat! Behold, its power!

{Pause}
BC: And the power is MINE! ALL MINE!!!
MK: {walking past Bear} Excuse me!
BC: There is no excuse for The Boy.
MK: {opening the front door} Honey?!
BC: I'm right here, Momma!
EM: What a *&@#ing idiot! Momma needs to put her foot down and stop this nonsense!
BC: I know! Maybe she won't let The Boy back in! Or she'll put her foot down and then up his ...
EM: Wrong *&@#ing idiot.
BC: He didn't even tell me how handsome I am in this hat!
MK: I can't find The Boy!
EM: If you walked in on this, you'd turn around and leave too.
BC: THIS?!? What THIS?! I can't see?! What's wrong? Smellie, are you picking your nose again? Or Momma? Did you forget your pants?
EM: Captain Oblivious!
BC: I can't see!
EM: Then take that stupid hat off ...
BC: Don't call my hat stupid!
EM: How about you realize you're wearing a "Daddy's girl" hat!
BC: NO! It says "Momma's princess!"
EM: No. The OTHER hat says "Momma's princess," that one says "Daddy's girl."
BC: Nah uh ...
{Pause}
BC: {GASP!!!!!} IT DOES! 
{Pause}
BC: I'm never going to live this down! Why didn't someone tell me? It's all your faults for not telling me!
EM: Because it couldn't POSSIBLY be the fault of the cat who put the hat on without looking at what it says.
BC: I assumed they were the same hat!
EM: You know what they say about assumptions.
BC: What?
The Boy: {walking in the door} Finally. He took that stupid hat off!
BC: HWK! HWK! HWWWWWWWWWWCK! HWK!
The Boy: Bear barfed on the hat I was going to give Ellie.
EM: Eww! I don't want the hat now!
MK: We can wash it ...
EM: GROSS! Bear barfs on all my stuff! My scratchers ... my favorite place to sleep ...
The Boy: Never a dull moment.
MK: There are pictures.
The Boy: Really?! Let me see them! Did he really walk around all day with that hat on?
MK: Yep.
{Pause as The Boy looks through Momma's pictures}
The Boy: Hahahahahahahaha.
BC: HWK! HWK! HWWWWWWWWWWCK!
The Boy: HEY! Kat, YOUR cat just BARFED on me!
BC: Not so funny now, is it?
The Boy: The brat cat in the hat.
BC: Momma? Can I wear the "Momma's princess," hat?
MK: Haven't you had enough hats for ...
EM: HEY! It's my turn to wear a hat!
BC: Hmmm ... if you wear a hat, maybe then I can pretend you're not here and I won't have to look at you!
EM: You're the ugliest Daddy's girl I've ever met!
BC: Oh, shut up!
EM: YOU shut up!
MK: I call a moratorium on hats.
BC: I'll teach you a lesson!
EM: You already did! You're an idiot!
BC: Take that back!
EM: No.
BC: MOMMA!?! Momma? Tell Smellie ...
{Pause}
BC: Where did she and The Boy go?
{Momma and The Boy are in Momma's closet}
The Boy: I love this closet.
MK: {sipping a strong drink} No kidding.

© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com. 

Featured posts: