Friday, May 31, 2019

Organized chaos or something like that

Momma's back from the Cat Writer's Conference, The Boy is feeling unappreciated, and the cats don't exactly help the situation! For being chaotic, there's a certain ... organization in our dynamics.

BC: Bear Cat Kat 
MK: Momma Kat 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

{Ellie is laying on Momma and The Boy is sitting next to Momma on the couch}
EM: I love you, Momma! You know JUST the spot I like to be rubbed! And your lap is so comfy and warm! This is the bestest part of the day. I'm so glad you're finally home from the Cat Writer's Association Conference! I missed you ... and your lap.
MK: I love you too, Ellie.
BC: Phht. At the Conference I won awards. How many did YOU win?
EM: Does Momma's lap count?
BC: Kiss up! But I know you mean it and that's even worse!
EM: And anyway, I didn't see YOUR name on the awards!
BC: We cats always get screwed! Cat WRITER'S Association. Writers that are cats! And yet no cats are named winners! It's discrimination!

EM: If the awards are yours, then the failures are your too! But NOOOO. You get mad at her when "you" don't win!
BC: Phht. The blog should be Bear Cat and his Momma Kat. Just saying.
The Boy: Where does a Daddy Cat come in?
BC: He comes out of ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: You don't even know what I was going to say!
MK: Oh, really?
BC: Err ...
The Boy: Hey, Baby Girl.
EM: HUH?!?! NO! Don't touch me! NO! I'm on Momma's lap! Not YOURS!
The Boy: But you laid on my lap when your Momma was gone!
EM: Yeah. She was gone. I needed a lap. Do the math.
The Boy: I {reaching over to pet Ellie} love you too!
EM: {jumping down} Blech. Yuck. Yuck. YUCK! I have to clean off the contamination! I'm dirty! I'm dirty!
The Boy: You rub against me all the time!
EM: Well, YEAH. I scent you because I own you ... you can't scent me because you don't own me.

The Boy: YOU JUST LET MOMMA PET YOU!
EM: Well, she's my Momma. I own her and she owns me.
The Boy: And what am I? Chopped liver?
BC: Well, Smellie and I don't like chopped liver ... so, yeah.
The Boy: HOW IS IT THAT NO ONE LOVES ME?!
MK: I love you!
The Boy: You don't count!
BC: D@mn. I don't think you can get more of your foot in your mouth.
EM: My Momma counts! She's the bestest and I love her!
BC: Yeah. You make it kind of easy to not like you when you say stuff like that.
The Boy: This is ridiculous!
BC: So are you.
The Boy: I love you and Ellie too!
BC: I think that foot just came out your ...
MK: I'll just leave you with the cats.
BC and EM: NO! Take us with you! 
EM: We need you, Momma! 
BC: Well, I wouldn't go THAT far ...
EM: You know how we like everything!
BC: That much is true ... though just because she knows doesn't mean she DOES it.
The Boy: Why do I get the butt end of everything around here?
BC: Like you have ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: You didn't know what I was going to say!
MK: You were going to insult The Boy.
BC: That's not fair! I ALWAYS insult him so that's not really a surprise!
EM: I don't like how you always get mad when our toys are all over the floor.

BC: YEAH! You tell Momma to get rid of stuff! She should get rid of you! And Smellie! I've procured this toy collection very carefully over the years, and besides Smellie ...
EM: HEY! I'm not a toy!
BC: No, you're a ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: You didn't know what I was going to say!
MK: You were going to insult Ellie.
BC: That's not fair! I ALWAYS insult her so that's not really a surprise!
EM: But you said I did good when I went to the vet!
BC: You learned from the best.
EM: Momma?
BC: NO! ME! I taught you how to cat!
EM: But I was a cat when I came to live here!
BC: You can't really be that ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: Holy crapsticks, the censor is in overdrive today.
EM: Someone should put you in your place!
BC: WHAT did you JUST say to me?
EM: Err ... you're a good brother?
BC: That's the most insulting thing you've ever said to me! MOMMA! You censor what I say, but Smellie can make up lies?
MK: Don't you love it when you lie to save yourself trouble and end up making it worse?
EM: My Momma doesn't lie!
{Pause}
EM: Well, besides when she says she won't hurt me and then she brushes my teeth or clips my claws!
{Pause}
EM: And when she insists our food bowls are full ...
{Pause}
EM: And ...
MK: That's enough! I get the point!
BC: What about when she tells us she's going to pet us and then throws us in the carrier?

EM: YEAH!
BC: Or when she says she's sleeping and then we get in trouble because she wasn't really sleeping to begin with!
EM: Err ... you're on your own with that one. I'm always a good cat.
BC: Then what happened last night?
EM: Err ... how should I know? YOU did it!
BC: I get blamed for everything around here! I SAW you spring out of the blinds and knock over a lamp.
EM: There's no lamp there!
BC: Well, not anymore!
EM: Wait a ...
MK: You mean the lamp YOU broke in pieces eight or nine YEARS ago? 
BC: Bella was leaving! I had to get to the other window.
EM: Bella?
MK: She ...
BC: Don't you dare!
MK: For several years, there was a black cat that came around every morning between three and five am and Bear would sit and give her googly eyes and howl for a couple hours until she left.
EM: YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A BLACK CAT?!?!? After all the times you told me being all black was boring!?

BC: Oh, great. Now there's no living with her. Besides, I learned the error of my ways. Those were my young and naive days.
EM: Now you're just old and cantankerous?
BC: I'll show you ...
MK: BEAR!
BC: What? I was just going to show Smellie something.
MK: Uh huh.
BC: In my fist.
MK: Exactly.
EM: I saw a black cat last night on the front porch! That's why I tore out of the window and bounced off the loveseat and flew across the room ...
{Pause}
EM: *(@*!
BC: AND?
EM: All that lamp stuff was just to trick me into confessing!
BC: My mistake. I blamed you for what I did.
EM: AGAIN?
BC: Maybe if you weren't so stupid ...
EM: I ...
BC: Wait a ...
{Pause}
BC: THERE WAS A BLACK CAT HERE LAST NIGHT AND THIS IS THE FIRST I'M HEARING OF IT?

EM: I thought it was kind of obvious! I live here!
BC: NO! The black cat on the front porch!
EM: She was pretty.
MK: Huh. She's come around consistently for a couple months and then disappear for a year or two ...
BC: BELLA'S BACK! How did she look? What was she doing? Did she ask about me?
EM: I thought you'd learned the error of your ways!
BC: WHAT?!?
EM: She's a black cat ... I'm a black cat. You call me plain ...
BC: Phht. That's because Bella's THE BLACK CAT. You're ... a black cat.
EM: But ...
BC: THANKS, MOMMA! Now I'm never going to hear the end of it!
EM: We're the same color!
MK: To be honest, it's very unlikely the black cat you saw was Bella. We haven't seen her in years.
EM: What did Bear do to her?
BC: {mockingly} What did Bear DO to her? Hmph! I'm a ladies man! You should've seen before you got here ... there was a line of lady cats outside our door.
EM: Are you talking about Momma's stuffed animals?
BC: I suggest you shut your mouth before I shove something up your ...
MK: {trying to change the subject} When Bear was a kitten, he wanted to be a black cat.
EM: Oh, REALLY?!

BC: You just HAD to go there.
MK: Kitty made him sit on the opposite side of the room as she did telling him it would happen if he stayed in the same spot.
EM: Wait a ... YOU GOT ALL YOUR TRICKS FROM KITTY?
BC: I have no idea what you're talking about.
MK: No. Bear does his own things - like counter cruising and putting his nose in everything I do ... sticking his paw in the toaster ... tearing up stuff and stealing things.
BC: WE GET THE IDEA!
EM: The TOASTER?! 
BC: I'm never going to live this down.
MK: Ha. You'll never live down getting your body stuck in the handle of a plastic bag ... or getting your BACK paw stuck in a jar of peanut butter.
EM: WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!
MK: But yes, his ideas to make you leave him alone came from Kitty. You'd never believe what she convinced him of this one ...
BC: ENOUGH! What is this? Bear-bashing day?
EM: And how's that different from any other day?
BC: Oh, SHUT UP!
The Boy: HELLO!?! I'm still here!
EM: Daddy, you're interrupting! I want to hear all the old Bear stories!
BC: Hmmm ... with Miss Chatty Momma here, The Boy should be my favorite.
{The Boy jumps up from the couch to pet Bear}
The Boy: Aww! My BuddyBear!

BC: {HIIIIIIIISSSSSSS}. Don't touch me!
The Boy: But you said ...
BC: I know what I said!

The Boy: Then we're best friends.
BC: I don't think so. I said I SHOULD ... not that I WOULD. Touch me and die.

EM: I'll jump on your lap, Daddy!
The Boy: Okay!
{Ellie jumps on The Boy's lap and looks around ... finally, she focuses on Momma's lap}
EM: Err ... tomorrow.
The Boy: THAT'S IT!
BC: Does that mean you're going to leave? Just asking.
The Boy: NO! But I deserve some respect around here!
BC: That's easier when you have claws and fangs!
The Boy: I don't respect you!
BC: I know! That's why I don't like you!
{Silence}
The Boy: Was I just schooled by a cat?
BC: Phht. When are you not?
EM: What he's saying is true ... no offense.
The Boy: EXCUSE ME if I don't take part in LOVE MOMMA FEST.
BC: He thought I schooled him? Momma's going to tear him a new ...
MK: Oh, REALLY?!?!
The Boy: Err ... I meant ... I mean ... I JUST CAN'T WIN IN THIS HOUSE!
BC: Ding ding ding ding ding!

EM: Dong.
BC: What?
EM: Dong comes after ding!
BC: No, it doesn't!
EM: Because you're the expert on ding dongs?
BC: YES!
{Pause}
BC: Err ...

What are the awards Bear's referring to? Here's what Bear won for contest year 2018 from the Cat Writer's Association (including links to the posts if you missed them or want to read them again). For the list of all award-winners, please see 2018 COMMUNICATIONS CONTEST.




The GoodNewsForPets Human-Animal Bond Special Award - Do cats need human interaction or are they completely fine on their own?




CWA Council of Directors Newcomer Blogger's Home - Enrichment Special Award - Are your cats bored?



Written Article: Feline-Human Bond {regular category award - Muse Medallion and Pendant} - Do cats need human interaction or are they completely fine on their own?





While we're proud of these awards, Momma's most proud of nominating Janiss Garza for the Michael Brim Distinguished Service Award and being there to present it to her! Congratulations to Janiss Garza of SparkleCat - Featuring Summer - and thank you for inspiring me and so many cat-lovers every day!


© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com. 

Featured posts:

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

An expandable carrier for expanded needs, part 2

First, before we get into today's post, I want to sincerely apologize for falling off the edge of the world after the Cat Writer's Association Conference. I had every intention of being back last week and between being sick {again} and catching up from being gone, I dropped that ball. I am sorry and I hope this week finds me back on my game!

If you missed our last post, we shared the details of Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier before we tried it. To revisit that information, scroll down to the end of this post or read our last post, An expandable carrier for expanded needs. In this post, we try the carrier and Ellie takes a trip to the you-know-where. The review follows the dialogue.

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat

The vet/vet tech: As themselves

BC: Momma wants to see you.
EM: She does? Because she said she was busy a few minutes ago! Maybe it's lap time! OH! I bet that's what it is! SEE! Momma loves ME more! HA! When she wants cuddles she comes to me! Momma!!! I'm coming!
{Ellie leaves}
BC: {mumbling to himself} She doesn't even see it coming ... I told her that new carrier wasn't good news. I ALMOST feel sorry for her.
{Pause as Bear thinks}
BC: Nah. Momma loves HER more? Yeah. And I'm ...

EM: @^% *#&@ #*(@ &@*!!!
MK: Come on, Ellie! 
EM: I thought you loved me!
MK: I do. That's why we have to go.
EM: I'm NOT going in the carrier! NOPE! Not even close! I dare you to ... {mumble mumble mumble}.
{Ellie hops out of the carrier before Momma can get it shut}
MK: ELLIE!
EM: MOMMA!
MK: We're already running late! Just get in the carrier!
EM: NO!
MK: FINE!
{Pause as Momma tries to get Ellie back in the carrier}
MK: *@#% the #(@*^!
EM: @#*$ your $)^@ @(!*!
BC: {from the other room} I should write these words down!

EM: HEY! Put me down! I'm not going in {mumble mumble mumble} ...
MK: PHEW! That was almost too easy. Got it zipped on ... now to secure the vel ...
EM: {popping out of the carrier} NOT TODAY! Not EVER!

MK: Darn it! That velcro isn't secure! After I fastened it, I didn't think you'd get it open!
EM: You're no longer my favorite!
MK: Then who is?
EM: BEAR!
BC: Huh? Do I get a say so?
EM: BYE!
MK: ELLIE! Get back here! So help me if ...
{Pause}
MK: YOU FIT UNDER THE BED! You haven't fit under the bed since right after we got you!
BC: Huh. The airplane hanger shrunk! Or the bed grew.

MK: Maybe if I pull the bed out a bit ... Oh, that's just great. Now I have to dig out everything from under the bed.
EM: MY DIET WORKED!
BC: Phht. There's a reason it's called a DIE-t.
{Momma curses while she pulls everything out from under the bed}
MK: Wait a minute ...
BC: {from the other room} Umm ... are you looking for Smellie?
MK: *!&#@!!!!! She ran under the bed and right back out the other side!!! I did all this for nothing!
{Momma and Ellie go through a couple more rounds of this ... Momma gets Ellie in the carrier, Ellie escapes and runs under the bed and right out the other side, Momma chases Ellie around like a lunatic until she can grab her and put her in the carrier ... just for Ellie to escape AGAIN!}
{Meanwhile, Bear investigates the new carrier}
BC: Eh. It's okay. For a carrier and all. Wait a ... you don't think Momma's tricking me ... chasing Smellie so she can grab me at the perfect time?! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE! There's no Bear Cat here!

BC: {mumbling to himself in his hiding spot} Momma thinks she can trick ME! And shove me in some stupid carrier! HA! I'm on to her plan! Nice try Momma!
EM: {in Momma's arms} *@&$! the (@*!$ before I &(#* you up! PUT *@(# ME @*&! DOWN!
BC: RATS! I didn't bring my notebook to write these down!
MK: In your go, Ellie.
EM: &(#* your *@&$! or I'll (@*!$!
MK: GOT IT! FINALLY!!!
{We'll exempt Ellie's curse words after Momma got her in the carrier, took her to the car, and drove to the vet. Let's just say Momma had a minor breakdown by the time we arrived at the vet ... Ellie has a way of tearing Momma a new one that far exceeds Bear's best efforts. You haven't heard anything if you haven't heard a cat cursing her person, the carrier, and the injustice of a car trip.}

BC: {still at home ... coming out of his hiding spot} Momma? Smellie?! WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?!? Is this part of the trick? Is Momma going to come out of no where and shove me in the carrier?
{Pause}
BC: Oh! I see! I'm not GOOD ENOUGH for the new carrier!
{Pause}
BC: COOL!
MK: {walking in the front door of the vet} Ellie Mae Kat for Doctor XXXXX.
Vet tech: Let's go to Exam room 3.
EM: An exam?! There's a test?!?! But I didn't study!!!
Vet tech: You're a pretty girl. EM: Wanna see my tail? Isn't it pretty? My brother's tail is really thin, but mine is bushy and gorgeous. OH! Look at my butt! Tell me how pretty I am. My Momma and Daddy constantly tell me how pretty I am! And I LOVE to dance for them! Want me to dance for you too? Of course you do! SEE?!?!
Vet tech: OH! You're a big girl!
EM: I'm not big! Just pleasantly fluffy! Though my brother calls me value-sized. Like he has any room to talk! Those handsome stripe-y pants aren't a size six. Let's just say that much. Do you have a lap? Because I love laps. And sparkle balls. 
Vet tech: Okay. XX pounds and XX ounces!
EM: Of tuna? You have XX pounds and XX ounces of tuna? For me?

Vet tech: Umm ...
EM: I LOVE tuna! My brother Bear prefers chickens, but I'm a tuna girl.
Vet tech: That's nice. The doctor will be in shortly.
EM: DOCTOR?!? You mean this wasn't a social call? I thought you were just showing me off!
The vet: Hey. How is she doing?
EM: I'm SO glad you asked because last night she wasn't wearing pants and she sang like some dying elephant dying a horribly painful death under a trampoline. Then, she wouldn't let me eat Bear's food! And she's in a really bad mood today.
MK: BECAUSE I CHASED YOU AROUND FOR HALF AN HOUR AND NOW I NEED A NAP!
The vet: Umm ... I was asking how you're doing, Ellie!?
EM: Let's see ... my Momma woke me from a nap where I was dreaming of a certain tabby/tuxie guy I have my eye on - and tunas were dancing around us. Then I was rudely awakened and shoved in a carrier for a ninety-eight hour drive here ... just so you can stick a thing up my butt. How would YOU be?
The vet: I can see why you're upset.
EM: OH! And my stupid brother is being more stupid than usual! You've probably met my brother, Bear Cat.
The vet: Yes, he's an interesting cat.
EM: You can be honest with me. I only call him interesting when I really want to call him something else.
The vet: Is that so?
EM: And Bear craps A LOT.
The vet: He doesn't feel well?
EM: PHHT! No. It's the REST of us that don't feel well!

The vet: Is he having problems?
EM: He's full of ...
MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
EM: What? That's what you say all the time, Momma! POOP! Bear's full of poop!
The vet: So, wait ... he poops too much or he's constipated? If he's full of ...
{Pause}
The vet: Err ... you know, he might have problems going.
EM: Let me tell you ... he's not the one with problems going ... it's the rest of us that have to put up with it! WE have problems going!
The vet: So you have problems?
EM: Have you met my brother?

The vet: Got it.
EM: And my brother ...
The vet: Okay.
EM: And my brother ...
The vet: You have three brothers? That would explain the cr ... err ... pooping.
EM: No! I have ONE brother! Isn't that enough!? Though he does almost weigh the same as three brothers ... it's a miracle those handsome stripe-y pants haven't split!
The vet: Ummm ... what? 
EM: I have one crap-tastic brother!
The vet: So ...
EM: His raps aren't even any good! I could out-crap him in my sleep!
The vet: Oh, right. He's a cat rapper.
EM: You try telling him that! He gets mad if I don't call him a crapper!
The vet: Last time he came in he pulled out his baseball cap and bling. I have no idea where he keeps that stuff because it wasn't in the carrier ...

EM: I could tell you where I'd like to stick it!
The vet: So he's a cat rapper or crapper? But he doesn't have a poop problem?
EM: Let's just say he drops more than beats. He calls me stupid - but I just expect the best of other people and cats. So sue me! He always lies to me and then calls me stupid when I don't suspect him right away! What a cruel world he must live in to automatically think the worst of everyone. A couple weeks ago, he pushed me in the bathtub! I got wet! I HATE getting wet!

The vet: Well, you've lost a little weight. Is Bear preventing you from getting to the food bowl?
EM: What? NO! Why would he do that?
The vet: Well ...
EM: But he DOES prevent me from sleeping in the bed with my Momma. My Momma's my favorite - though you can't tell my Daddy that. You should hear him snore.
The vet: Your Daddy?
EM: NO! Bear! Though my Daddy snores too. But I don't lay in the bed when he's there so I kind of don't notice it much.
The vet: What does Bear do to you?
EM: What DOESN'T he do to me?
The vet: Why do you say he prevents you from sleeping in the bed?
EM: Are you even a real vet?

The vet: YES!
EM: Because I'd think you'd be smarter than that. I say he prevents me from sleeping in the bed because HE. PREVENTS. ME. FROM. SLEEPING. IN. THE. BED. Bear's right. Vet schools graduate anyone these days!
MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
EM: Err ... sorry Momma.
The vet: I've been a vet for over forty years.
EM: WHOA. Then vet schools have been graduating anyone for longer than we thought!!
MK: ELLIE! Don't listen to Bear!
EM: That's what he says about you too; "Don't listen to Momma!" So who do I listen to?
MK: Lovely.
The vet: As fun as this is ...
MK: I need a refill of Bear's medication. We finished the medicine almost a week ago and his vomiting has increased again.
The vet: I gave you a year worth of refills for now. 
MK: REALLY?
The vet: Yes. He should be on it for the rest of his life.
MK: Oh. I guess I better stop on the way home and pick it up while we're in this direction. Thank goodness this carrier is expandable because I can carry Ellie in to the pharmacy and open up the expansions while we wait. I can't leave her in the car because this carrier is black and absorbs heat quickly.
The vet: I see where they get it from.
MK: WHAT?!?
The vet: You're all very ... talky.

EM: We can't get a word in edge-wise around Bear! That boy will talk and talk and talk and talk ...
The vet: I can see how that'd be annoying ...
EM: {to the tune of the Rubber Ducky song from Sesame Street} Triple fishy, you're the one! You make Bear's food time lots of fun! Triple fishy, Bear's not so fond of you.
MK: SHH!
The vet: Interesting.
EM: What about ... It's ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A FISHY and I loooooove you!
The vet: Ah. He got the triple fishy flavor. They also have a chicken flavor.
EM: Triple chick-y, you're the one! You ...
The vet: You and your brother sure have lungs. And a stage presence.
EM: Maybe I was unfair. If you know we have lungs ...
The vet: Why don't you take your show on the road?
EM: HUH?
MK: He means go home.
EM: Why would he want to go home? I mean, don't vets work longer than ...
MK: Never mind.
The vet: Things must be fun around your house!
MK: You have NO idea!
EM: Momma ruins a lot of our fun, but I still have my sparkle balls!
MK: I need a nap. And a stiff drink.
EM: And some Ellie loves?
MK: {sigh} Always. There's a reason I do this.
EM: Really? Then why do you keep Bear?

{Silence}
MK: All right! Let's pack it up and hit the road!
EM: But you didn't answer the question!
The vet: Interesting.
EM: You really need to find some new words!
MK: ELLIE!
EM: You can hit the road if you really want to ... but it kind of sounds painful so I'll just watch.
{The vet chuckles}
MK: You could install a bar next door and make millions from the people who bring their pets here.
The vet: Hahahaha.
EM: Why would a bar make all that money? I mean ... it's a bar! We have bars in our house and ...
MK: Thank you, Doctor.
EM: Thank you for not sticking you-know-what you-know-where!
The vet: That's a new one.
EM: Interesting ...

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Disclosure: We received Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Smiling Paws nor Amazon are responsible for the contents of this post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



OUR THOUGHTS ON THE SMILING PAWS PETS CARRIER:


FROM SMILING PAWS USER GUIDE:




OUR PICTURES OF THE PRODUCT AND ITS FEATURES:





FINAL THOUGHTS:

Interested in trying Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier? You may find the carrier at Amazon ... and UNTIL MAY 29, 2019, you can save 25% off the retail price by using discount code ‘PQXNT56A' at checkout (on Amazon only).



© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com. 


Featured posts:

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

An expandable carrier for expanded needs

BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae Kat

EM: OH! What's in the box? Is it a present for me?! Maybe some tuna ...
BC: Phht. If there's food in there, it's a tasty whole chicken!
EM: Nah uh!
BC: Is so.
EM: Not everything is about you!
BC: Phht. In MY HOUSE, it is!
EM: You're arrogant and a pain in the ...
BC: Pot ... meet kettle.
EM: What's that got to do with anything? Pots ... kettles ... OHHHHHHH! You think this box is pots and kettles.
BC: Oh, for the ...

EM: I bet they're for tunas!
BC: The only thing going in a pot around here is a tasty whole chicken. A chicken in every pot. Or something like that. It's a law!
EM: I bet there's also a law that says tunas for every pot!
BC: Nope.
EM: I thought your lawyer wasn't talking to you?
BC: HEY! How was I supposed to know having a sister wasn't reckless endangerment?
EM: You should've known that from calling 911!
BC: It was ONE call. Err ... per day.
EM: Then there's the call to 911 about your empty food bowl.
BC: 911 IS FOR EMERGENCIES! If a 98.593% full kibble bowl isn't an emergency, I don't know what is!
EM: No laps!
MK: First-world kitty problems.
EM: FIRST world? How many worlds are there?
BC: Hopefully one without you.
EM: So, what'd we get?
MK: {hiding the contents behind her back} It's a surprise!
BC: That means it's something we won't like ... like a carrier!
EM: OH! This is nice! Can we keep it, Momma? Can we?!

BC: You don't even know what it is!
EM: This box is comfortable! I could just curl up and go to sleep. It's not a lap ... but I love it! Maybe do a bit of redecorating? 

BC: See that black thing behind Momma's back?
EM: I'm so excited we get to review this box! I don't know what it does ... but I claim this as mine!
BC: You do this on purpose.
EM: WHAT?!
BC: Act stupid.
EM: HEY!
BC: No. You're right. You ARE stupid.
EM: I can't hear you! I'm in my happy place!
BC: Close a few flaps ... and this will be MY happy place too.

MK: Gather 'round kitties!
EM: But I'm working on our review!
MK: We're not reviewing the box! See?! This is what we're reviewing.

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Disclosure: We received Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Smiling Paws nor Amazon are responsible for the contents of this post.

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EM: That looks like a carrier!

BC: Don't you know anything? 
EM: Err ... what is it?
BC: Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you?

EM: I'm just checking to make sure YOU know what it is.
BC: IT'S A SPACESHIP!
EM: REALLY?!? Why are you letting me have it?
BC: Because the last spaceship was mine so I figured it was your turn.
EM: But your spaceship turned out to be a carrier!
BC: Well, if you don't want it, I'd be more than happy to ...

EM: NO! Never mind! I LOVE it! Where can I go? Can I visit our friends?
BC: Have you heard of the tuna planet?
EM: WHAT?!!?!? I've heard of Animal Planet ... but never a TUNA planet!
BC: The tuna planet.
EM: What's it called?
BC: Heaven.
EM: OH! I've heard of that! You must be telling the truth!
BC: I definitely think you should pimp your ride for the journey.
EM: Umm ... how far away is Heaven? Because I can't go for more than an hour without a lap. I'd have to be back by then.
BC: Well, if you don't want to ... I ...
EM: NO! I want to go! The lap bed won't fit though.

BC: You'll bravely go where no cat has been before!
EM: Then how do you know about the tuna planet?
BC: My Mom-Cat told me all about it when I was a wee kitten.
EM: Wait a ... Mom-Cat? You're adopted?
BC: I don't look anything like Momma!
EM: Well, that's not entirely fair ... I mean, I've never seen Momma with stripes.
BC: What does that have to do with anything?
EM: I'm just thinking your stripes make you butt look big ... and if she wore them, there might be more similarities.
BC: DO YOU WANT THIS CAR ... err ... SPACESHIP, or not?
EM: Beam me up, Scotty!
BC: You have to be in the spaceship!
EM: Oh! I'm all ready to go!
BC: NO! Not ON TOP of the spaceship ... IN the spaceship! You have to move the flap!
EM: I don't know ...
BC: Do you want to go to the tuna planet or not?
EM: Well, when you put it that way ...
MK: {walking into the room} Wow. I never expected you'd be in the carrier!
EM: HUH?
{Bear snickers}
EM: {pulling back to get clear of the carrier and finding herself stuck} Oh no! It's eating me! It's eating me!
{The carrier rolls over on its side}
EM: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLP!

BC: Back out of the carrier, Dumbo!
EM: Oh. Yeah. Tipping a carrier is much easier than I thought!
BC: You're preaching to the choir, sister!
MK: Maybe if you didn't throw all of your fourteen pounds against one side ...
EM: {crossing her claws} Leave me, you evil spawn of the devil!

MK: ELLIE MAE KAT!
BC: Full names ... I'm getting out of here before the fur starts to fly!
EM: Bear told me ...
BC: I didn't do it!
MK: We're reviewing that carrier; it's made by Smiling Paws!
BC: {from the other room} Lock Smellie up, Momma! That's what I'D call Smiling Paws!
EM: We're reviewing this carrier?! I don't have to get in it, do I?
BC: {from the other room} Nope. We can review the carrier just by standing next to it!
EM: REALLY?! COOL! And I thought I'd have to get in the carrier!
BC: {from the other room} I'm not!
MK: Look! It expands! That's good for longer trips!
EM: Longer trips?
MK: And the carrier's designed to comply with TSA and IATA requirements. It fits under the seats in an airplane cabin.
EM: AIRPLANE?!?!
BC: {from the other room} I TOLD you it was a spaceship!
MK: Plus, the carrier has a safety sleeve for luggage handles and car seat-belts.
EM: CAR?!? Like the thing that takes us to the vet?
BC: {from the other room} Can't get anything past her!
MK: They even have a handy user's guide! It's shows all the features of the carrier AND gives FAQs. See?


EM: Longer trips, airplanes, and cars!?! OH MY!
MK: Ellie, this is a great carrier. I bet you'll like it.
{Silence}
MK: Okay. Maybe not. But if you WERE to like a carrier, you'd like this one.
{Pause}
MK: Ellie? ELLIE?!?! Where'd you go?
EM: {from under the bed} I'm never coming out!
MK: {turning to Bear} B ...
BC: NOPE! Don't even think about it! I know Smellie has her yearly vet visit next week, so she gets to try it out.
MK: Our pictures of the product and its features ...






Tune in next time as we tell you what we think of Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier (and we share Ellie's vet visit).

Interested in trying Smiling Paws Pets Expandable Soft Sided Pet Carrier? You may find the carrier at Amazon ... and until May 29, you can save 25% off the retail price by using discount code ‘PQXNT56A' at checkout (on Amazon only).



© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com. 


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