Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Ellie and Her Butt-worms

EM: Ellie Mae
BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

EM: Ready for our nightly terror before the wet food treat shake down?
BC: Leave me alone. I need a nap.

EM: Come on! What's a night without our nightly terror before the wet food treat shake down?
BC: You mean our nightly terror BEFORE we're terrorized BEFORE our wet food treat shakedown.
EM: The ... BEFORE the ... huh?
BC: You know! When Momma brushes our teeth, brushes us, and clips our claws? How WE'RE terrorized after our nightly terror - but before the wet food treat shakedown.
EM: Ummm ... sure.
{Silence}
EM: Wanna be friends and cause trouble together?
BC: GO AWAY!
EM: Are you still mad that I ate all the kibble in your bowl?
BC: YOU ATE ALL THE KIBBLE IN MY BOWL?
EM: Err ... NO! Of course not. I saw Daddy do that.
BC: I HATE YOU!
EM: But I'm your sister!

BC: When they say you can't choose your family, they weren't kidding! You're my stupid sister who's to blame for THREE of my FOUR vet visits since you got here.
EM: I didn't mean to give you worms, Bear.
BC: Yeah. WHATEVER. I don't HAVE butt-worms. That's just you! Worms know better than to mess with me.
EM: Then I have something to learn from them.
BC: At least now I know it's not just poop that you're full of.
EM: You don't want to play with me?
BC: NO! I don't even want to SEE you! Unless the "game" is KILL. MY. ANNOYING. SISTER.
EM: I've never played that one before.
BC: GO AWAY!!!
EM: Daddy's right! You ARE grumpy. You're even grumpier than usual!
BC: I've had to go to the vet THREE TIMES because of you! IN LESS THAN A YEAR! You eat my food, steal my attention, play with my toys, and make it necessary for me to see the vet. I should send YOU to the vet and then you can tell me what it feels like! You've been nothing but TROUBLE since you moved in.
EM: That's not ENTIRELY fair. If you hadn't kept licking my butt, Momma might have felt better about not treating you for roundworms.
BC: SHUT UP!

EM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND ... speaking of us being terrorized ... if it weren't for YOU, I wouldn't get my teeth brushed, my claws clipped or my fur stolen! It's because of YOUR problems that I have to suffer too.
BC: I don't have any problems with my claws or my fur! I'm 100% awesome.
EM: You can't keep your claws to yourself! And you get regular hairballs! I have to suffer because YOU ...
BC: Phht. Like THAT'S a big deal.
EM: EVERY. OTHER. NIGHT. And you pitch a fit when it's your turn so you can't say it's no big deal.
BC: It's not a big deal for me because I'M Momma's favorite!
EM: You are not!
BC: Momma's smart enough not to mess with me. I'M THE SHARK!
EM: Oh, really? I could've sworn I heard you squealing and cursing last night when Momma clipped your claws.
BC: I. HATE. YOU. AND YOUR LITTLE WORMS TOO! Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get a nap in before the main event.
EM: We ARE pretty good at the wet food treat shakedown.
BC: GO!!! AWAY!!!

EM: Err ... I see that this might not be the best time. I'll come back later.
BC: If by later, you mean NEVER!
{Pause}
BC: HEY! HEY! Keep that paw to yourself!
EM: See? You want to play with me!
BC: Yeah. I want to PLAY with you. You can play dead ...
{Bear jumps Ellie and she squeals}
MK: BEAR! Your sister isn't a chew toy!
BC: Phht. I know THAT. She started it! Though, she makes an exceptional punching bag.
MK: BEAR!
BC: I'm trying to send her back to the vet because of me! See how SMELLIE likes it!
EM: Stop calling me SMELLIE!
BC: I call you Smellie because your butt stinks.
EM: And I thought you called me Smellie because you're a butt.
BC: Hmph.
EM: Maybe if you kept your nose away from my butt ...
BC: That's what cats do! We smell each others' butts!
EM: Oh, yeah? Then why do you lick my butt?
BC: Stop acting like your poop doesn't stink.
EM: I've only smelled your butt a few times and I learned my lesson.
BC: HEY! At least I'M not full of butt-worms ... among other things. You're full of $#!+-worms!
EM: It's not MY fault! I didn't do anything wrong!
BC: Yeah. Keep telling yourself that.

EM: It clearly works for you.
BC: Oh, shut up, Smellie Neigh!
EM: You shut up! I'm NOT a smelly horse!
BC: I hate you!
EM: I hate you more!
MK: You two guarantee that I'm never short on material.
BC: Butt-worms aren't exactly ... err ... a pleasant topic.
EM: LEAVE MY BUTT-WORMS OUT OF THIS!
BC: Hmph. You know what they say ... when life gives you lemons, join the band.
{Silence}
EM: I don't think that's what they say.
BC: OH! So now you know THEM better than I know them.
EM: No. I think it goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." And, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
BC: HUH. I always wondered how that makes sense. HUMANS. The thing is, that I never know whether the things they spout just don't make sense or I've got them wrong. Nonsensical either way!
EM: Maybe you should stop trying to be a know-it-all.
BC: I've got it! Your band can be called, "Ellie and Her Butt-worms!" What are their names?

EM: Whose?
BC: Your butt-worms!
EM: I don't really think I should be on a first name basis with my butt-worms.
BC: Well, if the worms are up your butt, you're probably justified in being on a first name basis with them.
EM: I don't know ...
BC: {AHEM} ...
EM: Uh oh.
BC: You know Slasher and Askancer and Chancre and Tricks-en. Vomit, Stupid, and Gonner-rhea and $#!+-zen. But do you recall…The most famous butt-worm of all?
EM: Uh oh.
BC: {to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"} William, Ellie's fat butt worm,
Wouldn't share his butt worm food.
And if you ever met him,
You'd know he's always in a bad mood.
All of the other butt worms used to stay far away.
They knew better than to join the butt worm fray.
Then ...
The Boy: Can you get any weirder?
BC: Is that a trick question? Or a challenge?

The Boy: Err ...
EM: I'm still not sure about being on a first name basis with one's butt worms. I wouldn't want to get attached. I mean, we did get the treatment for them. 
The Boy: And I thought your Momma was crazy.
BC: OH! She IS! Especially around cats!
The Boy: Because she squeals even though there's not one other thing she'll squeal about? Or because she's obsessed and hugs them to death?
BC: The struggle's real. I've seen my lives flash before my eyes more than once.
The Boy: You don't think that's just a TAD dramatic?
EM: He's actually right about this one. A cat gets nine lives because of how many lives we lose to compulsive hugging from our humans.
BC: Yeah. I'd love to see Momma squeal at you across a room and then hold you in her lap against your will!
The Boy: She loves you!
BC: I love tanks, tiaras and tasty whole chickens - but you don't see me squealing about them or making them my teddy bear!
EM: Well, if I had a pet fish, I couldn't make any promises.
BC: You HATE water! You wouldn't cuddle with a fish!

EM: Some things are worth getting wet for.
BC: Like drowning one's sister?
EM: Oh, shut up!
BC: I'll remember that the next time you step in your own poop and Momma has to give you a bath.
EM: You promised to never speak of that again! Again!
BC: You already said, "again."
EM: I meant you promised not to speak of it again, for the tenth time. And you always bring it up!
BC: You must be really desperate for friends.
EM: Maybe if you weren't such a jack-@$$ ...
BC: Maybe if you weren't full of $#!+-worms ...
EM: At least my brain isn't full of mean-ness worms! 
BC: Don't talk about The Boy like that!
The Boy: Have either of you seen your Momma?
BC: Check the closet. She's been in there most of the past month!

EM: Because YOU'RE annoying!
BC: Not as annoying at you!
EM: Shut up!
BC: Shut up, Miss Full-of-butt-worms!
EM: Oh, YEAH?!?!?
The Boy: As much as I hate work ... some things are even worse. I really can't wait to get back to work so I don't have to listen to this all day. That or we need a bigger closet so your Momma and I both fit!
BC: Phht. You would if you both ate fewer doughnuts! Ellie and I would fit in the closet.
The Boy: You're right. You two in the closet makes more sense.
BC: WAIT! PUT ME DOWN! NO! I didn't mean LITERALLY! I HATE YOU! MROW!
EM: Brothers are good for one thing ... the show.

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Friday, May 25, 2018

Thinking outside the litter box #ChewyInfluencer

Disclosure: We received Scoop Away Complete Performance Scented Scoopable Cat Litter (42-lb bag) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Scoop Away nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post.

What did we try from Chewy this month?!? It's our third month of being part of the Influencer program. To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer. Our first review of May was for Purina Pro Plan Seafood Favorites Variety Pack. Our second review is for Scoop Away Complete Performance Scented Scoopable Cat Litter! This is our first time evaluating a non-food product as part of the program.

MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae

MK: Are you two ready to try our second product of the month from Chewy?!?
BC: Tasty whole chickens?!?! PLEASE let it be tasty whole chickens ...
EM: Ooh! Ooh! I want a fish! Did we get a fish? 
BC: OOOH! Good one! Maybe a tuna?! I LOVE to eat tuna.
EM: I want to love the fish and watch it and be best friends and braid each others fur and fins ... because YOU'RE a grumpy-pants and you're no fun!
BC: Say that again and I can ensure you'll sleep with the fishes.
EM: At least I'm not a wet blanket!
BC: Fish are for noms.
EM: They can be friends too! Momma?!? MOMMA! Fish can be friends, right? If we get a fish, can you keep Mr. Grumpy-pants from eating it?
MK: We didn't get a fish.
BC: HA!
EM: Probably for the best ... with a certain grumpy-pants around here!
BC: You won't see ME getting in bed with a tasty whole chicken. Now a bazooka?! HECK YEAH! A tank? ABSOLUTELY! A tiara? Not much to cuddle with, but still better than YOU.
EM: Aww ...
BC: OH! Maybe we finally got a cat hammock! No, wait. I hope it's food! I'm REALLY hungry! This better be good! Crab. NO! TUNA! Err ... chicken? Beef?!
MK: {showing the cats the second product} TADA!
BC: LITTER?!?! Please tell me that's a brand of food. Hmmm. It must be misspelled. Maybe it's supposed to say CRITTER?! Yep! Some stupid human can't spell! I wonder which critter. I love to eat them all. But especially fishies!

EM: You're saying that just to bait me! Momma already said we didn't get a fish. Thank goodness you can't eat me ... you'd probably try!
BC: This from the cat that's known as the garbage disposal?
EM: I only ate your barf ONCE!
BC: Oh, really?
EM: Err ...
{Pause}
EM: {quietly} Last week.
BC: That sounds more accurate.
{Pause}
EM: It's not my fault! If it was good enough for you to eat ... why would it be different the second time?
BC: GIRLS!
MK: HEY! I'M a girl!
BC: Don't be ridiculous. You're a Momma, not a girl! BIG difference. And not just in butt size.
{Pause}
BC: Can we eat the litter ... err ... CRITTER now?
EM: Don't be stupid. I bet it should say GLITTER.

BC: You can't eat glit ... NO! ... wait a ... THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! 
EM: Maybe it should be "hitter." You know, if it is litter. Hahahahaha. "HIT-HER for ordering litter." Hitter? Hit-her?
BC: If it is litter, I will hit her. And BITTER too!
EM: Hahahahahaha. "BIT HER."
MK: Are you two done? Because it is "litter."
EM: {whispering to Bear} I could've sworn she said "litter." She DID NOT say LITTER, right?
BC: We're reviewing poop fodder? Not food?!? I WANT MY LAWYER! NO! YOUR therapist! Do you even HAVE a therapist?! Because you REALLY need therapy!
MK: Bear ...
BC: You've GOT to be shi ... err ... pooping me!
EM: Maybe Momma did it so you WOULD poop.
BC: {whispering back} Let ME handle this ...
{Silence as Bear thinks}
MK: I'm so excited to try litter! We don't have a go-to brand and I want to find one! I'm a creature of habit - when I find a product that works and is a value I stick with it for dear life. Unfortunately, I haven't found a satisfactory litter yet. I'm hoping we'll get to review a bunch of brands and share the results with our readers.
BC: Why do you seem so excited about reviewing something like litter? IT'S LITTER. You don't get all excited about trying new toilets!

EM: {whispering} She just said she's looking for a go-to litter...
BC: It's LITTER! You can't eat litter!
EM: Well, TECHNICALLY I mean you COULD eat ... 
BC: Then again, maybe YOU eat litter. You'll eat anything else.
EM: Momma's got a ...
{Pause}
BC: Please tell me it at least has glitter IN the litter.
MK: No glitter.
BC: Awwwwww, man! 
EM: I don't know that I want my butt to sparkle.
BC: Phht. That's because your butt is huge enough ... it doesn't need anything to grab people's attention.
EM: STOP BEING MEAN TO ME!!!
BC: Are there critters in the litter? I mean, THAT I could understand. I mean, as long as they are RECYCLED critters.
EM: Recycled? How do you recycle a critter?
BC: Poop it out!
EM: Ewww ...
MK: Back to the topic of litter ... We have a lot of requirements and I'm kind of picky.
BC: Why are YOU picky? YOU don't use our litter box! THANK GOODNESS. Talk about a mess. Ellie's poop is bad enough.
EM: Quit being mean to me! I'm really getting tired of you taking shots at me all the time.

BC: If I get a bazooka, you won't have to worry about shots ... I'll just take one shot and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! KABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! GOOD NIGHT, SMELLIE!
EM: Hahahahahaha. That was kind of ... {seeing Bear} ... you're kidding, right?
{Silence}
EM: THAT'S IT! I'm tired of being the poop on your shoe! I ... uh .... uh ... TIMBER!
BC: HEY! That bag of litter almost cat-caked me!
EM: Too bad you moved.
BC: That was close! I almost ... WAIT?! Where are you going?

{Pause}
BC: MOMMA! Did you see that? Smellie's trying to murder me! With LITTER.
MK: BOTH OF YOU!!! Knock IT off!
BC: Knock the litter off?! LET ME show Momma where to stick this litter for not getting us more food.
EM: I'm tired of him making me the butt of every joke.
BC: Well, to be fair, you are the BUTT of most things around here.
EM: Take that back!
BC: Make me!
EM: My pleasure!
{The cats tussle}
MK: {not meaning to talk to herself ... but with the cats "busy" ...} Let's see ... what I look for in litter ... tight clumping ... little tracking ... I prefer low dust and great odor control - but those are both secondary to clumping and not tracking. I prefer to get litter without fragrances - for all of our sakes. I know litter's not exactly glamorous ... but it is necessary. And a good litter makes for happy kitties.
BC: I think you mean tasty whole chickens make for happy kitties.
EM: NO! TUNA!
BC: Shut up, Smellie! You're not even a real cat!
EM: Well, you're not a real bear!
MK: NOOOOO. Cats are clean creatures and like to keep it that way. A good litter will make that easier for both of us. Not glamorous ...
BC: Not like tuna, no. Wait a ...
EM: Tuna isn't glamorous!
BC: Who asked ...
{Pause}
BC: Wait a ... Are you calling us OCD?!?! Because I SAW you scrubbing the life out of the ...
MK: And even better ... this litter is made of natural elements. Scoop Away Complete is constructed of plant extracts - without any harsh chemicals and additives.
{Momma pours the litter in the box as Bear supervises}

MK: {talking to herself} Look at that! NO dust! This Scoop Away litter is 99% dust free! I usually wait to pour litter until I'm about to get in the shower because I hate that feeling of being covered in litter dust - but that's not an issue here. And there's no dust cloud or accumulation of the dust on the litter box - so it LOOKS cleaner too!
BC: Whatever.
MK: {talking to herself} But does it work?!? I'm staking out the litter box here ... just waiting for a cat to step inside and take advantage of the facilities ...
BC: Great. Like she needs another reason to stalk us and watch our every move! I'm getting out of here before the grabby hands make an appearance. She needs to buy guinea pigs ... because I'm NOT trying this no-critter, no-glitter litter!
{Bear leaves the room ... then no movement ... err ... no creatures stir ... err ... both, for half an hour}

{Momma's hiding under the table and she perks up when she sees Ellie approach the litter box}
MK: {talking under her breath} Observe the female of the species as she approaches the litter box. 
{Pause}
MK: She sniffs ... notice how important scent is to a cat ... she sniffs the other way ... she walks around delicately ... she scratches around a bit in one direction ... and then another ... 


{Pause}
MK: She adjusts slightly ... makes a suitable hole ... adjusts one last time ... and SCORE! TOUCHDOWN!

BC: What are you ...

MK: {surprised, in her hiding spot, Momma startles and hits her head on the bottom of the table} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
EM: What's she doing under there?
BC: What do you THINK she's doing? Being weird and lurk-y! I'm glad that I have no idea. Though I think she was narrating your visit to the litter box. 
EM: She's got nothing better to do?
BC: Like I said ... she needs therapy or we'll all get a free trip to the funny farm.
EM: What's so funny about a farm?
BC: Phht. I should know better. How's the litter?
EM: It's litter!
BC: If a cat needs to evaluate a product, I guess he has to do it himself!
{Bear scratches around in the litter box ... then relieves himself}
BC: Quite satisfactory.
EM: You should say that with a posh English accent!
BC: Shut up, SMELLIE!
{Pause}
BC: {AHEM!!!!}
EM: You told me to shut up!
BC: Not YOU!
{Pause}
BC: {AHEM!!!!}
EM: Do you have something caught in your throat?
{Silence}
BC: I hate when she does this ...
EM: But I didn't DO anything! You told me to shut up and I was just sitting here and ...
BC: I hate when MOMMA does this. Look at our litter box! I'll have to think OUTSIDE of the box ... I guess I'll have to toss litter out of the box until she gets the message!


MK: ENOUGH! ENOUGH! I'll scoop it! I'll scoop it! Amazing odor control. If I hadn't been here watching ...
BC: You mean LURKING ...
MK: Whatever! If I hadn't been here watching, I'd never know you two used the facilities. And I love how tight the clumps are! They leave no trace of used litter!

BC: No kidding. I couldn't even smell Smellie's business!
MK: Looks like everyone's happy! Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available? Not so with Chewy ... 24/7 ...
BC: Everyone's happy? Not quite. Since SOME-MOMMA didn't get us another food to try ... we'll have to go with the old stuff. Can we get our wet food treat now?  

Note on long term evaluation: Scoop Away DOES track less! Combined with low dust, tight clumps, no overpowering fragrances, natural contents, and amazing odor-control ... this litter is definitely a must-have! We'll order Scoop Away again!

Interested in trying Scoop Away Complete Performance Scented Scoopable Cat Litter (42-lb bag)? Go visit Chewy and order a bag for your favorite feline!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

TOO-NA TOO-NA!! #ChewyInfluencer

Disclosure: We received Purina Pro Plan Seafood Favorites Variety Pack (Canned Cat Food, 3-oz, case of 24) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Purina nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post.

What did we try from Chewy this month?!? It's our third month of being part of the Influencer program. To find our past reviews as part of the program, you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer. Our first review of May is for Purina Pro Plan Seafood Favorites Variety Pack.

Our second review is a surprise and will be published Friday!

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: Is that the Chewy box for this month?!?
EM: CHEWY? The Chewy box is here? Why would someone make a chewy box? Does it taste good?
BC: CHEWY, the COMPANY. Remember? We get to try a couple items a month from them in exchange for our honest review.
EM: So the box isn't chewy?
BC: Move out of the way. I'll handle this.

EM: But I want to know what we got too! That's a BIG box! There must be something good if the box isn't chewy.
BC: What'd we get this month?
EM: Is there ... FOOD?!

BC: {mockingly} Is there FOOD?!? Fatso still thinks she's going to starve to death. What ELSE would there be but food?
MK: This month we got one item that's NOT food.
BC: WHAT?!?

EM: Oh no!! We're gonna starve! Awww ...
BC: Speak for yourself. I'M going to starve ... you're going to be a less-huge piggy.
EM: I'm not THAT big ...
BC: "Not that big." They can see you on satellites! The vet said you're a couple POUNDS overweight. Phht. At my worst, it was a matter of OUNCES.
EM: Maybe I've got pounds of personality. I just like food.
BC: "Like" "LIKE?!?!" You eat like you're eating for you AND a litter of kittens.
EM: Oh, sure. Cut a girl when she's down. Remind me that I can't have kittens.
BC: WHAT?!?!
EM: I. CAN'T. HAVE ...
BC: I know what that means!
EM: Well, you ARE a little slow. Bless your heart.
BC: Oh, shut up, Smellie! 
EM: I think I'd be a good Momma. I'd cuddle with my kittens 24/7 and teach them how to be good cats and keep their claws and fangs to themselves. I excel at love and good moods.
BC: And I have to listen to you trill along merrily all day and night. I think you like to hear the sound of your own voice.
EM: I'm just happy and like to talk to myself!
BC: PHHT. Because no one else listens.
EM: I have food ... and people who love me ... and great toys ... and food ...
BC: You already said food!
EM: Well, I DO have two bowls ...
BC: ONE OF THOSE IS MY BOWL!
EM: Not if I get there first.
BC: I'm going to kill you and bury your mangled body where no one will ever find you. Then again, hiding a body of your size is difficult ...
MK: ENOUGH! 
EM: I think I got to the ...
BC: HEY! Keep your mouth ...
EM: BLECH!!! This box isn't chewy. 
BC: MOMMA! Hurry up, Momma! Ellie's so hungry she's trying to eat the box!
EM: This is the most disgusting food I've ever ...

BC: You never listen to me! THAT'S THE BOX our order came in, STUPID! The food is over here!  
EM: I'm not stupid. YOU'RE stupid.
MK: HEY! Are you two ready for your wet food treat? I'm excited to try this brand! Purina Pro Plan has a great reputation.
BC: This isn't HEALTHY is it?

MK: Purina Pro Plan has a great reputation as a 100% complete and balanced diet, SPECIFICALLY developed to reinforce a healthy, active lifestyle for pets.
BC: It tastes nasty, doesn't it?
EM: I'll eat your portion if you don't want ...
BC: Don't even THINK about it. 
EM: But you said ...
MK: This variety pack contains three different varieties ... seafood stew, tuna, and salmon and rice. First, we'll try the seafood stew variety.
{Pause}
MK: Look at that rich gravy! And the generous size of the chunks. You guys are gonna LOVE this!
BC: {AHEM} I can't see anything because the plates are on the counters. You say I'm not allowed on the counters!
MK: Oops. Sorry about that. Here you go, Bear.
BC: {sniffing the plate} Where's the food?
MK: Right there on your plate!
BC: This isn't food! There are ... VEGETABLES. Vegetables aren't real food.

MK: That's the most disappointing feature of this product. So many companies promote fruits and vegetables as part of their formulas - but cats do not require them for balanced nutrition. In fact, many fruits and vegetables are toxic to cats. Even so, the added veggies probably mainly function to make the person feel better about feeding the food and not to address a cat's nutritional requirements.
BC: Yuck. I'm not eating this.
EM: {perking up from her plate} Wait ... Bear's not eating this?!? What?! What's wrong with it?
BC: Phht. Where do I even start.
EM: Awww. And I thought it tasted good! 
BC: THAT. Is. NOT. food!
EM: Of course it's food ... seaFOOD.
{Ellie walks away from the plate reluctantly}
BC: SEAFOOD STEW, indeed. I don't SEE any food!
MK: You've trained me well, Bear. Any label that doesn't specify the protein is probably not something you'll want to eat.
BC: What's in "seafood stew" anyway? I want to try the tuna.
EM: {perking up} Did someone say ... TUNA?!?
MK: Bear, you didn't even TRY the seafood stew!
BC: Two words. SEAFOOD STEW.
MK: Yes, I admit the vagueness is a bit sketchy.
BC: Hand over the tuna and no one will get hurt.
MK: Bear, it's the exact same food - with the exact same vegetables - just a different flavor. 
EM: It was yummy.

BC: Whose side are you on?
EM: Err ...
{Pause}
EM: We want ... TUNA! We want ... TUNA!! We want ... TUNA!!! Two four six eight, what do we appreciate? TUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BC: You're really good at being annoying.
EM: Thank you! You're good at being a jerk.
BC: I guess I had that coming.
EM: MOMMA!!! TOO-NA TOO-NA!! What do we want?
BC: TUNA!
EM: When do we want it?
BC: NOW!
MK: Good grief. Good thing you two usually can't figure out how to work together. Alright, alright. Bear won't eat seafood stew ... and Ellie will but stops when she sees Bear isn't eating. I don't have great hopes because the ingredient lists of both flavors are so similar ... 
EM: Two words ... TOO-NA!
BC: That's one word, moron.
EM: More on what? A cracker?
BC: Unless you stop bugging me, they'll be more of your innards strewn throughout the house.
MK: The tuna variety has the same rich gravy and perfectly sized chunks.
BC: Less talking and more feeding. I'm almost SKELETAL! And you're TALKING about the food instead of giving it to us!
MK: If you were skeletal, you would've eaten whatever you got.
BC: Phht. I'm still a CAT you know.
MK: As much as curiosity killed the cat ... stubbornness didn't help.
EM: I'm not stubborn! I'm a NICE cat!
BC: Stop kissing up or I'll take off your brown nose.
EM: HA! I don't HAVE a brown nose! My nose is black!
MK: Alright. Tuna.
{Bear sniffs the plate}
BC: OOOOOH! FOOD!
{Bear starts chowing down}
MK: You probably should breathe ...
BC: NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

EM: {looking up from her plate} Maybe you should just let him not breathe. One life down ... eight to go.
BC: Phht. NOM NOM ... I've already ... NOM NOM ... used up ... NOM NOM ... more than a few ... NOM NOM ... lives being my ... NOM NOM ... glorious self.
EM: EWW! Don't talk with your mouth full!
MK: You've used up more than a few of your lives ... Like the times you thought you could fly?
BC: HEY! If a stupid squirrel can do it ...
MK: They don't ACTUALLY fly, Bear.
BC: Then why are they called FLYING squirrels. DUH!
MK: Oh. And the time you got the plastic bag stuck around your body.
EM: Hahahahahaha.
MK: I have pictures of that one too.
BC: DON'T YOU DARE! I was FRAMED!
EM: You mean ... BAGGED?!
BC: Oh, SHUT UP! 
EM: YOU shut up.
BC: Do you mind?
EM: Not really.
BC: Wait a ... you're trying to get me talking so you can eat my plate of food too!
EM: You DO get more than me. You can share.
BC:  I'm trying to finish my tuna-y goodness here!

MK: Looks like everyone's happy!
EM: {AHEM}. I'm out of food!
MK: Let me rephrase that ... Bear's happy ... and you enjoyed the food too.
EM: While it lasted ...
MK: As I was saying, Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

NOTE: Both cats licked clean their plates of the tuna flavor and salmon and rice flavors. I've served both again - and same thing ... plates licked clean. YAY!

Interested in trying Purina Pro Plan Seafood Favorites Variety Pack (Canned Cat Food, 3-oz, case of 24)? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!