Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Bear fights back

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

Last Wednesday ...
{Ellie walks into the bedroom where Momma and Bear are cuddling} 
BC: Huh?!? What's SHE doing here?!
MK: Who?
BC: SMELLIE!
EM: My name is not Smellie! It's ELLIE!

BC: Whatever you say, Smellie Neigh.
EM: I'm not a Smellie Neigh! YOU'RE a smelly horse!
BC: Can't you see I'm snuggling with my Momma?! This is an A and B snuggling session ... so C you later!
EM: She's my Momma too!
BC: No, she's not.
EM: Yes, she is!
BC: Phht. You two look nothing a like!
EM: And YOU look like Momma?!?
BC: Well, when you put it that way ... I mean, with Momma's looks and all ... err ... NO THANKS! I was OBVIOUSLY adopted. Or abducted by aliens.

EM: How?
BC: The aliens landed their ship ... they searched the Earth for the smartest living being ... and BADA-BING! Abducted by aliens.
EM: That's not what I ... besides, with all your carrying on in the car, the aliens probably would've tossed you out mid-flight just for some peace and quiet.
BC: She can only be a Momma to one of us!
EM: But I want to snuggle!
BC: Go away!
MK: Bear! She only sleeps at the foot of the bed. She doesn't actually snuggle with either of us. She's a good two feet away from you.
BC: Two rank, SMELLIE feet at the SMELLIE foot of the bed.
MK: Oh, for the ...
BC: Go find The Boy.
EM: But I love my Momma too.
BC: She's NOT your Momma! She's MY Momma! That means I have exclusive cuddling privileges.
EM: But ...
MK: Bear ...
BC: You love The Boy so much ... go snuggle with him! 
EM: You only say that because you don't want him. 
BC: OBVIOUSLY! There's no accounting for taste. Or lack thereof, in this case.
EM: Why would I want something that you don't want?!
{Ellie jumps on the bed}
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!!! 
EM: I just want to sleep in the corner!
BC: Find another corner ... preferably outside and far away from me and my Momma.
MK: Bear!
BC: NO! I've HAD it! You and I had the perfect life. We spent most the the day cuddling ... I got to sleep with you ... I didn't have to share ... and now, we not only have Dumbnuts - but also Smellie! The Dweebles stole you!

MK: That's not true. I love you all. Nothing changes that.
BC: Phht. Tell that to my butt when it's cold because The Boy is in MY spot on the bed.
MK: I have enough love for all of you!
BC: HMPH. Only because The Boy and Smellie don't deserve much. 
MK: BEAR! We're a family.
BC: {mockingly} FAM-i-ly. We're FAM-i-ly. Familism. The group over the individual. BARF. I was here first!

MK: Bear ...
BC: Not to mention, if love was given per pondus, they'd steal all of it!
EM: I'm not fat! You're fat! You weigh more than I do!
BC: Phht. It's just fluff.
EM: That's ONE way of describing it.
BC: What do YOU know? You're stupid.
EM: I'm not stupid! You're stupid!
BC: {to Momma} I can't believe you expect me to {GASP} SHARE with HER! Bear doesn't share. My way or the highway. If you want to snuggle up to this trollop ... go ahead! But don't say I didn't say so about what I just said!
EM: Huh?!
BC: Oh, SHUT UP! It's not MY fault that you're not smart enough to understand.
{Bear jumps off the bed, leaving Ellie and Momma on the bed ... he walks into the family room to find The Boy sifting around in the litter box}
BC: {GASP!!!!!!!!!} I KNEW it!

The Boy: What?
BC: I caught you red-pawed! You're pawing around in my litter box! You're getting ready to dump a load. In MY litter box. Notice that I notice. I know what it looks like when someone is pawing around in the litter box to dig a hole to poop.
The Boy: I'm scooping ...
BC: And so help me ... if I find a stinky poop in the non-stinky poop side, there's going to be hell to pay ... and I'll know who did it! NO! This is too much. I've HAD it! I'm not sharing my Momma OR my litter box! I'm drawing a line in the litter box and you'd better stay away from it. I was just fine before you showed up and tried to steal my Momma. Then the neighborhood really went downhill with the addition of Smellie. And now you're using my litter box?! I don't THINK so!

The Boy: Almost done ...
BC: What's wrong with you?!? That's a litter box, NOT a sand box! Even Smellie wouldn't need that much time pawing around. The litter box is not a toy! I've had enough of you and Smellie! I'm NOT sharing my Momma! You've been warned!!! And let me just remind you ...
{Bear keeps going for a little while ...}

Last Thursday (Thanksgiving) ...
MK: {setting down the stuffing} There. What can I get you to drink?!
BC: {looking up from the plate of turkey he's sharing with Ellie} A stiff drink!
MK: Not you! The Boy!
BC: Hmmm ... is there a brain-building smoothie? Anti-Dweeble wine?!?
MK: I think we've had enough anti-Dweeble whine around here.
BC: You've been holding out on me!!! Oh, SURE! Keep all the anti-Dweeble wine for yourself! I bet you think being inebriated excuses the majority of your behavior. "Look! I'm dancing!" HMPH. "Dancing." "I'm singing!" HMPH. "Singing." NOPE! 
MK: Bear, I haven't been inebriated!
BC: Good! Like I said ... it doesn't excuse your behavior. Though it IS slightly concerning that you "sing" and "dance" like that while completely sober. Not to mention all the giggling.
MK: {to The Boy} Ready?!?
BC: YES! More turkey, please!
MK: Bear ...
{Bear jumps in The Boy's chair}
BC: Let's eat!
The Boy: Bear! That's my chair. 

BC: It doesn't have your name on it. Who ELSE would my Momma be eating with?!? YOU!?! Do you even know HOW to use utensils? Or how to sit up straight?
MK: Get down! There's plenty of turkey on the plate for you and Ellie. You two always eat first, don't you?!?
BC: Hmph. I wouldn't want YOUR cooking anyway! Your turkey probably tastes like chicken!
{Pause}
BC: Hmmm .... when I put it THAT way ...
EM: It's definitely scrummy! You already ate a bunch, so it can't be that bad. 
BC: Brown-noser!
EM: My nose isn't BROWN like a common tabby!
BC: Common tabby?!? COMMON TABBY?!?!? I've EARNED my stripes!
EM: Like a convict earns his stripes ...
The Boy: Good one, Ellie!
BC: Oh, SURE! Everyone gang up on me! I hope it makes you all feel better to be mean to a sweet, innocent kitty cat!
The Boy: We're not being mean to Ellie.
BC: I HATE YOU! Take your stupid chair for your stupid butt!
{Bear jumps down}
MK: {getting up} Oops. I forgot the rolls.
{The Boy sits down ... Momma comes back with the rolls and sits down ...}
BC: Do de do ... do re me fa so la ti DO!
{Bear jumps in the litter box}
BC: You're ONE ... TWO! ... THREE COLORS of tortie ... and I {GRUNT} LOOOOOOOOOVE you!
The Boy: Am I the only one disturbed?
BC: YES!
The Boy: No. I meant you sing a love song while you're POOPING?!?
BC: Right. You expect me to believe you've never sung a love song to Momma while pooping?
{Pause}
BC: Never mind.
The Boy: HOLY ... that's RANK! You really out-did yourself this time.
{The Boy gets up to scoop the litter box}
BC: Only the best for you for Thanksgiving. Do de do ...
{Bear jumps on The Boy's chair again}
BC: {looking at Momma} We're ready to start. Would you pass me the gravy?
MK: Bear, did you poop just so The Boy would get up and scoop the litter box?
BC: No. I pooped so he'd get up and I'd get my chair back. Now ... PASS ME THE GRAVY!
MK: Bear ...
BC: FINE! You don't want to be civilized and pass me the gravy politely?!?
{Bear jumps on the table}
BC: I'll just help myself, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MK: GET DOWN, BEAR!
BC: Make me! Go ahead! Just TRY it! Or take a picture first. You know you want to ...
The Boy: {walking back to the table} I suggest you move.
BC: You weren't invited! She's MY Momma! She and I share meals together.
The Boy: There's still turkey left on the plate over there.
BC: GOOD! Then YOU eat it!
EM: Oooooh .... {groaning} ... too ... much ... turkey ...
{Ellie rolls around on the floor}
EM: Now I get what this Thanksgiving thing is about! Thanking goodness that one's tummy doesn't explode!
BC: Don't be stupid! Thanksgiving is about thanking the turkeys for giving their lives up so that we get tasty noms.
The Boy: BEAR! MOVE!
BC: Fine! Don't get your boy panties all in a bunch!
{Bear jumps down}
The Boy: I'm embarrassed to admit he outsmarted me.
BC: {from the floor} Like THAT'S all that hard! Bear ... 9,834,239. Humans ... 0. Did I mention that I'm NOT sorry?!?!
MK: Eh. I got over being outsmarted shortly after I adopted him.
BC: HEY! I'm RIGHT HERE! Don't talk about me like I'm not ...
{Ellie starts snoring ... so Momma, Bear, and The Boy look in her direction}
BC: SHE ATE ALL MY TURKEY!!! 
MK: Holy turkey turds ... she ate ALL of that turkey! There were at least five ounces there!
BC: We were supposed to share!!!
MK: Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to outsmart us ... you wouldn't have been outsmarted by your sister.
BC: Oh, SHUT UP!

Later on Thanksgiving ...
MK: I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed.
The Boy: I'll be in in a few minutes.
{Ten minutes pass and The Boy walks into the bedroom to discover Momma asleep and Bear in The Boy's spot on the bed}
The Boy: Bear. Move.
BC: The Boy. Bite me.
The Boy: Come on, Bear! That's MY spot on the bed!
BC: There's another bed in the second bedroom. Perfectly nice.
The Boy: I want to sleep next to your Momma!
BC: I was here first.
The Boy: Can you just move over a little?
BC: YOU move over a little. A little to the left ... a little to the left ... until you're out the front door! And don't let the door hit you on the right butt cheek!
The Boy: That's kind of mean!
BC: Some stupid Dumbnut stealing somecat's Momma was mean!
The Boy: I only have one dumb nut now?!?
BC: Is that a question or a statement? DO you only have one nut now?
The Boy: Bear, we had a long day. Move over so I can get in bed.
BC: HMPH. I'm just taking my rightful place next to my Momma ... WHERE I BELONG. Where I was for TEN YEARS before you stuck your nose in my business! I've had it with this sharing nonsense! "Share with The Boy!" "Share with Smellie!" I don't THINK so! I'm taking my Momma back and if you don't like it, you can ...
{Pause}
BC: Is she SNORING?! How's anyone supposed to sleep next to THAT?!?
{The Boy sees Momma looking at him with one eye just a bit open ... and the beginning of a smile on her face}
The Boy: Has she farted yet?
BC: WHAT?!?!? I'm not sticking around for that!!! I've spent enough sleepless nights thanks to her snoring ... and farting?!? Don't even get me started! I'm getting out of here while I still can!
{Bear jumps down and runs out of the room ... and The Boy gets in bed}
MK: {whispering} Bear ... 9,834,239. Humans ... 1.
The Boy: Hehehehehehehe.

Featured posts:

Friday, November 24, 2017

Giving thanks, part 2

This introduction is the same as it was in Tuesday's post (part 1) - but the pictures of the cats are different if you scroll past the intro. If you missed the pictures of the cats in part 1 - you'll find them in Giving thanks, part 1

Though we're grateful for our blessings every year ... this year we are especially fortunate. I'm surrounded by love from my family. 


I've managed to maintain my years long recovery from anorexia ... and after eighteen years of hell, I'm starting to forget the horrors of every second. And we've added Ellie Mae, our precious panther princess, to our family [Bear Cat gets a sisterEllie Mae: In pictures!Growing painsAbout Ellie] ... and The Boy, with his sideways sense of humor that makes us laugh and enriches our blog, who proposed to Momma not long ago [Daddy (the OTHER Dodo)The Boy proposes]. 

Our blog has much to be thankful for too. This year, we were named finalists again in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Awards - this time for Best Cat Blog [Best cat]. I was lucky enough to attend another Conference - and meet the people I follow every week [Bear Cat originals]. The support and friendship of the blogging community - and especially the CAT blogging community means the world to me. I have major inferiority complex issues - but my fellow bloggers have never made me feel any less than a member. Bear and I had our first sponsored post - and a second - a third [Celebrate the Year of The Cat with Wellness® Complete Health™ Cat Food #HappyMeetsHealthyCelebrating the Year of The Cat with {Reformulated} Wellness® Complete Health™ Cat Food #HealthyMeetsHappyHealthier Pets. Happier Lives.™ with Hill’s® Science Diet® #HillsTransformingLives] ... and then we won second place in The Helen Woodward Center's "Remember the Rescue" contest - for the story of Bear's [and my] rescue [Remember Me Thursday {writing to save lives} #RememberTheRescue]. Our prize helped a local shelter in their mission to save every one. We continued to co-host the Pet Blogger Showcase - until a few weeks ago when we had our final Linky Party [The Final Pet Blogger Showcase (11/04/2017)]. Not only have we made a ton of new friends (especially with dog blogs) - but we enjoyed the friendship and support of our fellow co-hosts. We didn't join thinking about the friendships we'd create - but it truly was the best part.

Cat blogging friends ... 


Last, but certainly not least in any way - thank you to our readers - and friends. Your comments inspire - support - and make us laugh. We know our posts are often quite wordy and we appreciate you sticking around to read the whole thing. Speaking of words ... as our readers know, words are our currency. Momma knows how to talk! But we're doing something a bit different this year. This week's posts will be mainly pictures. I might be a blogger - but words fail even me sometimes. These pictures show our immense blessings (including of the feline variety) - and are far better at communicating just how lucky we are and all that we have to be grateful for! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

NOW FOR OUR MAIN ATTRACTION ...
The felines ...

























Happy Thanksgiving weekend to you ... our readers and friends. We're THANKFUL for each and every one of you. May your blessings continue throughout the coming year  💕 

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Giving thanks, part 1

Though we're grateful for our blessings every year ... this year we are especially fortunate. I'm surrounded by love from my family. 


I've managed to maintain my years long recovery from anorexia ... and after eighteen years of hell, I'm starting to forget the horrors of every second. And we've added Ellie Mae, our precious panther princess, to our family [Bear Cat gets a sisterEllie Mae: In pictures!Growing painsAbout Ellie] ... and The Boy, with his sideways sense of humor that makes us laugh and enriches our blog, who proposed to Momma not long ago [Daddy (the OTHER Dodo)The Boy proposes]. 

Our blog has much to be thankful for too. This year, we were named finalists again in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Awards - this time for Best Cat Blog [Best cat]. I was lucky enough to attend another Conference - and meet the people I follow every week [Bear Cat originals]. The support and friendship of the blogging community - and especially the CAT blogging community means the world to me. I have major inferiority complex issues - but my fellow bloggers have never made me feel any less than a member. Bear and I had our first sponsored post - and a second - a third [Celebrate the Year of The Cat with Wellness® Complete Health™ Cat Food #HappyMeetsHealthyCelebrating the Year of The Cat with {Reformulated} Wellness® Complete Health™ Cat Food #HealthyMeetsHappyHealthier Pets. Happier Lives.™ with Hill’s® Science Diet® #HillsTransformingLives] ... and then we won second place in The Helen Woodward Center's "Remember the Rescue" contest - for the story of Bear's [and my] rescue [Remember Me Thursday {writing to save lives} #RememberTheRescue]. Our prize helped a local shelter in their mission to save every one. We continued to co-host the Pet Blogger Showcase - until a few weeks ago when we had our final Linky Party [The Final Pet Blogger Showcase (11/04/2017)]. Not only have we made a ton of new friends (especially with dog blogs) - but we enjoyed the friendship and support of our fellow co-hosts. We didn't join thinking about the friendships we'd create - but it truly was the best part.

Cat blogging friends ... 


Last, but certainly not least in any way - thank you to our readers - and friends. Your comments inspire - support - and make us laugh. We know our posts are often quite wordy and we appreciate you sticking around to read the whole thing. Speaking of words ... as our readers know, words are our currency. Momma knows how to talk! But we're doing something a bit different this year. This week's posts will be mainly pictures. I might be a blogger - but words fail even me sometimes. These pictures show our immense blessings (including of the feline variety) - and are far better at communicating just how lucky we are and all that we have to be grateful for! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

NOW FOR OUR MAIN ATTRACTION ...
The felines we are most thankful for  ...






Stay tuned for Friday's post ... there will be more pictures!!!