Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Dear friends

Dear friends,

Until further notice, I'm taking a break from blogging. I don't have anything to give right now ... not humor ... not support ... nothing ... not even to myself. I want to ask all of you to stick with us, but I know how this works. I know if I don't visit other pages, no one will visit ours. I know that if I don't put us out there, we will quickly be forgotten. I just don't have the heart or the wherewithal to maintain this blog right now. I tried so hard to keep with it - fighting hard - not wanting to let the sadness and unbearable pain win - but I don't have any fight left right now. I'm sorry to those of you who have supported us and never wavered - it hurts me even more to feel like I've let you down. I feel stupid for letting a boy hurt me this badly and break me so completely. I don't give my heart lightly, but when I do, I give it my all. I'm sorry my decisions in my personal life affected the work that I love so much so severely as to make that work impossible.  I just need a break. I need to take some time and figure out if I have anything worth giving this community anymore. And really, if I have anything worth giving anyone. For those of you who might worry, I'm not questioning my life. I'll survive and re-make myself as I have billions of times before with each abandonment and each hurt. In fact, this blog and the strong relationship I have with Bear Cat are the products of all those survivals and re-makings. Thank you to all of you for your support, kind words, advice, and love. It's meant the world to me and, even as a blogger, I can't find the words to express how much. Thank you.

aka "Momma Kat"

ps - Last week, I committed to co-hosting a blog hop two Saturdays a month. To be fair to the other co-hosts and my commitment, I will participate as promised - so I guess I'm not TOTALLY on a break :)

My beautiful boy who's never let me down ... never wavered in his love for me ... and has saved me every single day of the past ten years. I'm in good paws :)

Monday, September 26, 2016


BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - FAT CAT RATS:
BC: Holy kitty gods is it dark in here! How can you do anything with it so ...
BC: Don't worry, Momma! I'll rescue you! PHHT! PHHT! PHHT! I'm blowing on you, Momma! Hold on! Start breathing! Start breathing! {THUNK!} {THUNK!} {THUNK!} Don't worry! I'll get your heart beating again! Hmmm ... this kitty trampoline is kind of fun! {THUNK!} {THUNK!} {THUNK!} Hahahaha. {THUNK!} {THUNK!} {THUNK!} WHEE! Oh, right.
BC: Oh, dear, fickle kitty gods! Why would you be so cruel as to take my Momma from me?!?! She brought me in off the streets and loved me as her own! 

BC: She gave me good cuddles and excelled at ear rubs and back scratches! 
BC: Sure, she didn't lick my butt when I presented it to her ... and my food bowl was always more than 5% empty ... and she didn't give me NEARLY enough treats ... hmmm.

MK: Bear ...
BC: You're alive!
MK: Appears so.
BC: I mean ... YAY!
BC: {narrowing his eyes} You aren't a zombie are you?
MK: I don't think so.
BC: With how you've been moping around here ... that dead look in your eyes ...
MK: Every one gets sad some times.
BC: All because of some stupid boy! I don't get sad!
MK: What about when I go out of town?
BC: Phht! Why would I be sad? I get to invite all the neighborhood ladies ...
BC: Uh oh. I'm REALLY in trouble now. Don't tell my favorite tortie!
MK: Bear, the last time I was out of town was before you met her. It's not like you're cheating on her.
BC: Oh. Right. Good point. I just know when I have a good thing and I don't want to mess it up!
MK: And yet, you have no compunction biting me, stealing my desk chair and just being a general pain in my behind.

BC: I said a GOOD thing, Momma.
MK: Oh, you mean because I'm a great thing?
BC: Errrr ... EXACTLY!
MK: So where exactly do I rate on the good-bad scale then?
BC: Mean. As I was saying, you don't lick my butt when I present it to you ... and my food bowl is always more than 5% empty ... and you don't give me NEARLY enough treats.
MK: {sigh}.
BC: I mean, it's not ALL bad ... you walk into things and do other stupid stuff, so at least you keep me entertained.
MK: Great.
BC: So why are you in here in the dark?
MK: I'm sad.
BC: Well, KNOCK IT OFF! Our blog's been in a funk for a couple months because of some stupid boy so SNAP OUT OF IT! People come here to laugh and take a break from life ... not hear about sad things.
MK: Well, we could show them.
BC: Show them WHAT? Show them to stay away from boys?
MK: That just because we know how to laugh doesn't mean that we don't have reason to cry.
BC: What's this WE stuff?
MK: I just meant that I think it's important for people to know that even though we get on here and try to make people laugh every day doesn't mean that we don't have problems. So many people struggle and assume no one else is struggling because they don't actually see others struggling - which makes a bad situation worse because feeling so out of tune with everyone around you is isolating. The truth is that regardless of one's humor and how much one laughs, that person still cries sometimes too. You never know what's going on in a person's head that she isn't showing. So many people have looked at the surface of my life and assumed I had the perfect life. And at first, when I started talking about the reality, no one believed me. They couldn't understand how I could suffer that intensely and still manage to laugh. But the increase in pain internally only increases the outward appearance of pain to a point ... there's a point where the pain becomes too much and a person has to shut it off to go on ... decreasing the pain she shows outwardly. So the people with the least amount of pain and people with the most amount of pain show the same amount outwardly. I have a graph!

BC: OF COURSE you do. You have a list or a graph or a spreadsheet for EVERYTHING!
MK: I like to be organized! And I'm a visual learner.
BC: You are NOT put together! Actually, you're quite a mess!
MK: Exactly. Just because I make people laugh doesn't mean that I only know laughter.
BC: I curse boys!
MK: Bear, it's not just about the boy. What happened with him just brought up all the other pain from my past. About being not good enough, being not worth sticking around for, not worth sticking up for, being unlovable ... all that cruelty I experienced from humans before you.
BC: But ... but ... you have a big ball of furring, purring love now! And I never leave you! Of course, I don't really get the CHANCE since you hardly ever let me outside, but at least I get a full food bowl around here. 
MK: Full food bowl?
BC: I thought I fix everything!
MK: You do, Bear. Sometimes I still get sad though. It's okay to be sad some times.
BC: Hmph. I tell you that I don't get sad and I lived on the streets for the first eight months of my life!
MK: You have a point there. Snuggles with my favorite kitty?
BC: Hmph. I GUESS. But only because YOU want them!
MK: I love you, Bug.
BC: Yeah, yeah. Think about that next time you leave me a 3% empty food bowl!

Pictures of the day:
Bear's newest way to get his loves is to jump on the end of my knee and balance himself straight up so I can give him ear rubs, neck rubs, belly rubs, AND back scratches. The aim of the camera was a little off here, but you get the idea. Some cat loves his Momma. Until he has enough anyway.

Featured posts of the day:

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Sunday Selfie #17

I know I'm handsome. So joining The Cat on My Head's Sunday Selfies blog hop is a no brainer! This week, I'm sharing pictures of an incident that happened earlier this week. As many of you know, I have a spot at the end of the table from where I like to stare at my Momma while she works. I don't actually WANT anything ... it just really messes with her. After viewing my pictures, you're MORE than welcome to express your appreciation of this fine feline specimen with tasty whole chickens ... my Momma will give you the address (just tell her you're sending me socks!). ~Bear Cat
ps - You can see my previous Sunday Selfie posts here: #1#2#3#4#4.5#5#6#7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15, #16.

How it SHOULD be ...

The problem ...

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Bear brutality

BC: Bear Cat
MK: Momma Kat

Daily conversation - Bear brutality:
BC: Do de do ... {ears perk}.

BC: Uh oh! Code Bear brutality! Code Bear brutality! Beat it! Bounds away! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! 
MK: Bear ...
BC: {Bear runs to his cat tree corner to hide.} Make off! Fly the coop! Cut and run! Go on the lam!
BC: Hmmm. I LIKE lamb. And tasty whole chickens would be in the coop. RATS! Bear's big belly is a huge distraction! All that matters is that I get the (BLEEP) out of Momma's Torture Land!
MK: Haha, Bear. Very funny.
BC: There's nothing funny about torturing a poor, sweet, innocent kitty cat!
MK: Hmm. I don't think I know any poor, sweet, innocent kitty cats.
BC: WHAT?!?! What do you mean you don't ...
MK: Come here, Bear.
MK: I need to wash your face and brush your teeth.
BC: Over my dead body!
MK: Well, if that's what it takes ...
MK: Do I have to drag you out of there?
BC: I mean NO!
MK: {Momma grabs the flashlight and shines it on Bear} I see you!

BC: Congratulations! However, seeing me doesn't deliver my tender marrow to your evil clutches!
MK: Don't you think you're being just a bit dramatic?
BC: BITE ME! I see the instruments of my agony and humiliation sitting out! I'm not stupid!
MK: A bit dramatic?
BC: You're trying to kill me!
MK: With acne pads and a toothbrush?
BC: For maximum pain.
MK: Bear, neither of those hurt you.
BC: How do you know?
MK: Because I brush my own teeth twice a day and I've tested the acne pads to see whether they sting.
BC: Oh. "I'm the big, all powerful, MEAN Momma! I test all these tools of torture to make myself feel better about the mistreatment of my sweet, innocent, little kitty cat!"
MK: Okay. Except for the part about you being sweet, innocent, or little. Our readers know better.
BC: Oh, just INSULT me while you're at it! As if the excruciation, suffering, and torment is not enough! But NO! You must mock my pain!
MK: Bear, brushing your teeth and washing your chin don't cause any pain to mock.
BC: "Oh, I'm the big Momma Miss Know-it-all!" "Get off the counter! Get your paw out of the toaster! Let me shove you in the itty bitty kitty prison so I can take you to the vet! Stop climbing in the closet! Stop chewing on the cords!" "It's for your own good!" And that doesn't even include all the fun stuff I do that you make me stop doing just because it causes you problems!
MK: Well, yes. I imagine the IRS doesn't enjoy getting half-eaten or half-shredded tax forms. And I don't enjoy fishing the contents of the shelf above the toilet out of the toilet.
BC: You exist solely to ruin my fun!
MK: Well, not SOLELY to ruin your fun ...
MK: HEY! I give you lots of love too!
BC: Well, let me fall all over myself to thank you for the moments of tenderness I get around here!
MK: {rolling her eyes} Bear, you're being just a TAD dramatic.
BC: A tad?!?! A TAD?!?!? I'm a cat! We're completely dramatic!
MK: Exactly.
MK: Come on, Bear. I'm not giving up. {reaching behind the cat tree.} I'll drag you out of there if I have to!
BC: {Bear runs under the kitchen table} SPRINT TO FREEDOM!
MK: BEAR! Get your cute little butt back here!
BC: {from under the table} You can't get me here either!!!

MK: Actually, this is even easier to grab you from.
BC: RATS! I've been smoked out of my hiding place! I'm doomed! DOOMED!!!
MK: Oh, for crying ...
BC: {Bear high tails it to the large window that sits behind furniture in Momma's bedroom} FREE AT LAST!
{Momma pulls back the curtain at one end of the window}
BC: Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ... you can't reach me!!!

{Momma pulls back the curtain at the other end of the window}
BC: Hahaha. Not from that side either!!! I'm tired ... all this avoiding your malignity wiped me out! Ooooohhhhhm! My sunpuddle fixes everything ... including the meanness of a certain Momma!

MK: You'll come out eventually.
BC: I choose to enjoy my brief reprieve for as long as it lasts.
MK: Fair enough.

Featured posts of the Day: