Ellie finds a job [kinda]

Ellie isn't satisfied with "only" being Latte's letter screener. Instead, Ellie searches for her own way to leave her mark on the world around her. A cat dictionary? You reach for the stars and don't listen to those nay-sayers (like your sisfur), Ellie Mae.

EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy lady cat] 
L: Latte [tortie/tabby girl kitten] 
MK: Momma Kat [Latte and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie 

EM: I'm really sad.
MK: Oh, no! Why?
EM: Because Latte's famous and everything, and I'm just her letter screener.
MK: Umm ... technically, she fired you.
EM: NO! She LAID ME OFF. There's a difference. And that's only until she wins her lawsuit against you for impinging on her freedom of speech.
MK: Speaking of ... how is that going?
EM: Well, she's still looking for a lawyer to take the case. Apparently, lawyers don't like taking cases on credit. She tried mortgaging our cat tree, but that didn't work out.
MK: I wouldn't exactly call Latte famous, either.
EM: She said you would say that. Now she can sue you for defamation too!

EM: Umm ... when she finds a lawyer.
MK: Yes, WHEN.
EM: Latte gives advice and helps people, and I just sit here.
MK: Ellie, Latte DOES NOT help people. 
EM: FINE! She helps cats! That's even better!
MK: No. She just gives bull-poop answers that just further her own agenda.
EM: Well, I thought it was good advice!
EM: What's a genda?

MK: {sigh} Besides, you don't just sit there. You are the sweetest kitty cat Daddy and I have ever met. You make us smile all the time.
EM: Latte said you guys always smile because you have gas.
MK: Maybe you shouldn't listen to Latte.
EM: She said you'd say that! Dang! She's GOOD!
MK: {sigh}.
EM: I'm thinking I could start a cat house.

{More silence}
{Even more silence}
EM: That way, all the cats without homes could live in the house, and they'd be warm.
{Silence as Momma fights asking the question ...}
MK: And you'd be the madam?
EM: Well, I hadn't thought about what I'd be called, but I like that. I'm a MADAM.
MK: Oh, Ellie.
EM:  What?
L: {from the other room} That means you said something stupid!
EM: I did?
MK: NO! You're too sweet for your own good.
L: No, she's too STUPID ...
EM: Maybe I could make a cat dictionary.

MK: Ummm ... what?
EM: You know, a book with definitions of cat-related words. 
MK: Ummm ... Ellie ...
EM: See, I wrote down a lot of words with "cat" in them. Then I came up with the logical definitions of those words. Look! I already have a list!
MK: Ellie, these are some big words! I know I've never used the majority of these around you.
EM: A cat hears things, you know.
L: You? Know the definition of big words? Hahahahahahaha.
EM: I know the definition of BIG! It describes your @$$!
MK: Use the word "cation" in a sentence.
EM: When Latte sits on me, she refers to me as the "cat I on."
MK: I'm sorry I asked.
L: {from the other room} You say that a lot when talking to the cat I on! Hahahahahahaha.
EM: I don't get it.
L: {mumbling to herself} Big surprise.
MK: {sigh} Let me see that list, Ellie.
EM: Here!

cataclysm - what your house looks like after your cat has a case of the zoomies catacomb - your cat's hiding spot that you've never found catalog - when your cat sits in the loaf position catalyst - your cat's list of the ways you don't live up to her satisfaction catalyze - when your cat tries to figure you out catamaran - a counter-cruising cat cataplexy - when your cat goes limp in your arms while being petted catapult - when your cat pounces on you in slow-motion  cataract - when your cat makes a better door than a window catatonia - the term used to describe the trance your cat is in when he stares at the wall cat burglar - what you call a cat that steals your food catcall - the plaintive meow that tells you your cat is hungry catchall - your cat's stash of odds and ends he's stolen catcher - when you finally grab the cat you've been chasing catchword - what you say when your cat snags his claw on your clothes catechism - the term used to describe the human response to the smell of cat food category - the state of your cat's prey when it's done with it catenate - your cat's natural state caterers - the food service girl caterpillar - when your cat sits up ramrod straight, like a statue caters - when you feed your cat catfish - when you wave a wand toy around in the hopes your cat will try to catch it and get exercise cathartic - your cat's decorative style cathode - the song your cat sings of his people catholic - a human who's addicted to cats cation - when your cat has a positive attitude catkin - a cat's fur siblings catnap - the term for what happens when you take the cat to the vet catsuit - your cat's fur cattail - when your cat follows you around the house cattery - when your cat bathes you catwalk - the term to describe when your cat walks around nonchalantly

MK: Well, this is ... interesting.
EM: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
L: {from the other room} It means you're stupid!
MK: Sisters.
EM: Tell me about it. It's like having an audience of hecklers 24/7/365. Maybe I could be famous for inventing an off button for sisfurs?
MK: Haha. Good luck.
L: {from the other room} That's funny coming from a cat whose brain is permanently in the off position! 
MK: Wait. A cat dictionary ... is that a dicationary?
L: {groan}. It sounds like one of Daddy's jokes!
EM: I like Daddy's jokes ... even if I don't get them.
MK: Oh, Ellie, you sweet, sweet girl!
L: {from the other room} Bless her heart!
EM: At least I have one!

© 2022 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2022. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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  1. Now Ellie, you keep on keeping on. Latte, you need elocution lessons. The dictionary is over there-- *pointing*.

  2. This was super fun. Our favorite definition is for category! XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, angel Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer, Kizmet, Audrey & Raleigh

    1. Ellie make sure your employer includes lots of breaks and treats and nap time.
      I love your cat dictionary.
      Hugs Cecilia

    2. Kitties Blue, Mom's are category, catalog, and caterpillar! ~Latte

    3. Cecilia, Breaks? Latte never gave me breaks! Do you think I can sue her? ~Ellie Mae

  3. AMARULA: Well I will admit this only once. Even I have to admit that EM's idea for a cat home for homeless cats was nice and I laughed at the definition for category. Maybe EM is not all bad (or i've had too much catnip!)

    1. You didn't call me Smellie, so that's a start! Besides, we both have annoying fursibs that can't take a hint! ~Ellie Mae

  4. Hee, hee...if Oxford calls, take it. It'll mean one (or more) of your words was admitted to their gigantic dictionary-a most worthy recognition. 😻

    1. Would they put a picture of me in there? Because I'm really photogenic ... ~Ellie Mae

  5. Replies
    1. That is true ... but SOME sisfurs like being pains instead ... ~Ellie Mae

  6. WOW Ellie, we're impressed, that is a lot of catwords, you could do illustrations too and color them up!

    1. Maybe I should let Latte do the illustrations. I mean, she did hire me to be her letter-screener, so it's only fair, right? ~Ellie Mae

  7. Ellie, that is a great list of words and their definitions!

  8. Ellie Mae, you do you! I love your list of words and definitions. My dad is a communications director, and he would totally hire you! Love, Ava

  9. You have put together a very good dictionary, Ellie Mae. I like you definition of category too.

  10. Ellie, Latte, MK You guys really crack me up! It sounds like the conversations around here, with Jo Jo in the other room heckling Kozmo and me! Keep on being awsome! Purrs Marv

  11. You are such a creative and smart kittie and adorable plus ~ sweet photos ~ Xo

    Wishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
    A ShutterBug Explores,
    aka (A Creative Harbor)

  12. Toulouse thinks your dictionary could be a best seller. But he's not a big reader so.......

    Marjorie at Dash Kitten

    1. Hahahahahaha! He's sure read the book on being handsome though!

  13. You know what, I do declare that between the three of you, there is a book to be had. Heads together now, girls, and you could be rich beyond you're wildest dreams, even Latte's!

  14. Woodrow would like to invest his savings in that off button for sisters, Ellie. He has a whole 35 cents saved! He wants to know if you have Venmo.


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