A simple misunderstanding leads to a stupid conversation. Kat has enough and leaves the cats to their own [stupid] devices.
L: Latte [tortie/tabby lady cat aka "Kitten"]
MK: Momma Kat [Latte and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat]
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie
{Latte drops a toy mouse at Momma's feet}
{Silence}
L: {AHEM}
{More silence}
L: {A-HEMMMMMMMM}
MK: {looking up} Hi, Latte.
L: You're welcome.
MK: Ummm ... thanks?
L: I brought you a mousie.
MK: Oh! Okay!
{Momma throws the mousie}
{Latte just sits there}
MK: Aren't you going to chase the mousie?
L: No! I brought him to you!
MK: To play fetch!
L: No! As a present! Because you are so inept at hunting!
MK: You're not inept at hunting? You kill mice that aren't alive and don't move.
L: They move!
MK: Let me rephrase that: You kill mice that aren't alive and don't move on their own.
L: Maybe I'm just so terrifying that they can't move.
EM: Or they're afraid you'll sit on them. I'M afraid of you sitting on me!
MK: Or they're not alive.
L: So how can I kill them if they're not alive?
MK: Erm ...
L: Maybe they wish they weren't alive when they see me, and they die from terror.
MK: Then you don't really kill them, do you?
L: {sticking her tongue out} They died because I'm ferocious.
MK: You might try that reasoning with someone who didn't have to dig you out from behind the drawers in the bathroom vanity because the doorbell rang.
L: Fake news.
MK: Real news. Since when did you stop playing fetch?
L: Since I realized it's more fun to kill things.
MK: Like micey that aren't alive.
L: Or Daddy's fingers. Or my sisfur.
EM: I'm not scared of you!
L: I'm scared of you ...
EM: HA! I'm feroc ...
L: 'Cause you're scary looking! Hahahahahahahaha.
EM: That's not funny. That's stupid! Momma always tells me I'm a pretty girl.
L: Fake news.
MK: Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it's fake news.
L: Fine. It's stupid news.
EM: Calling something stupid news just because you don't like it is stupid.
L: Oh, yeah? Well, YOU'RE stupid!
MK: No one in this house is stupid!
The Boy: OWWWWWW! Why is there a mousie in the middle of the floor?
L: Ask Mom!
The Boy: Those things hurt to step on!
EM: Then don't step on it. DUH!
The Boy: Why are cat toys always all over the floor?
L: Because we're cats.
The Boy: Can't you keep them in a corner or something?
EM: I don't see you keeping your shoes in a corner. Or your socks.
The Boy: That's different!
L: Mom is the one that put the mousie there. She rejected my generous gift!
MK: Of a soaking wet mousie!
L: It's better than what you could hunt!
MK: You hunt things that are alive. You play with things that are dead.
EM: Momma, you'd make an awful cat!
L: She wouldn't even be able to feed herself!
MK: YOU don't feed yourself! You depend upon me to give you food!
L: Lemme at those Squeeze-ups, and I'll take care of business!
EM: Where do Squeeze-ups roam? 'Cause that's where I wanna live.
L: 🎜🎝Oh, give me a home where the Squeeze-ups roam ... 🎜🎝
EM: Oh, give me a home where the Fancy Feast roams ...
The Boy: You know what song no one has sung? Oh, give me a home where the cat toys roam!
L: That's a stupid song.
MK: We need to broaden your use of adjectives.
L: Here's an adjective: get a life!
EM: Wait ... how can you add jectives when they are words? Don't you have to add numbers?
L: That's the stup ...
MK: Latte!
L: It's true!
EM: What? That you can't add jectives that are words?
{Silence}
L: It's painful.
EM: What?
L: Your stu ...
MK: LATTE!
EM: Latte's painful? Oh, because she bites ...
L: Only when it's deserved.
EM: That's stupid!
L: You're stupid!
MK: Latte!
EM: NO! You're stupid!
MK: ELLIE!
EM: What? I'm tired of her picking on me!
L: I wouldn't pick on you if you weren't stupid!
EM: I'm not stupid! You are stupid!
MK: ENOUGH!
L: You want to know what else is stupid?
EM: SISFURS!
L: Closed doors!
EM: A "serving size" of treats! The real serving size is the whole bag!
L: Clipping our claws!
EM: Brushing our teeth!
L: The vet!
EM: Daddies!
The Boy: HEY! I give you treats!
L: Not letting me steal Ellie's Squeeze-ups!
EM: That's not stupid!
L: Diets!
EM: Oh! That's a good one!
L: Lawyers!
EM: You're just mad Bear's lawyer blocked our phone number! Though I have to admit, that was stupid.
The Boy: Oh, give me a home where the stupid roam ...
MK: You're not helping! The next person or cat that uses the word stupid is grounded.
L: Well, that's ...
The Boy: STUPID!
{Kat, Ellie Mae, and Latte turn to The Boy}
The Boy: WHAT?!
L: Uhhhhhmmmmmm ... some Daddy is in trouble!
EM: Yeah! Daddy, you're grounded!
L: I'm not as dumb as Ellie looks!
EM: YEAH!
{Pause}
EM: Wait.
The Boy: I was tricked!
L: Hey! Where did Mom go?
EM: Disappearing tricks are stupid!
L: Unless you're the one disappearing.
EM: Shut up!
L: You shut up!
EM: You're stupid!
L: No. You're stupid!
{On and on ....}
© 2023 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern.
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2023. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com.
Featured post:
Ellie Mae, tell you what. Hop in the tunnel and come on over. You remember the coordinates I know, and we'll plot and scheme. Don't tell Latte.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me what? ~Latte
DeleteEllie Mae I think Katie Isabella has a wonderful suggestion...sometimes it is best to remove yourself from a conversation.
ReplyDeleteHugs cecilia
I think I prefer that Latte be removed from the conversation! Haha. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteCute babies, and quite cunning too!
ReplyDeleteThey are NOT stupid! Hahahaha!
DeleteWe have conversayshuns like that at our house. I usually lose interest within the first minute and take a nap. I've found sleeping through Life protects me from bwain dwain... that's where yoor bwain suffers because yoo are twying too hard to understand hoomons... which is totally impawsible. Love, Dori
ReplyDeleteAnd THEY say they can't understand US! ~Latte
DeleteSmart kitties ~ sweet photos and great conversation with the fur babies ~
ReplyDeleteWishing you good health, laughter and love in your days,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
They have a lot to say!
DeleteAMARULA: Latte! I feel for you! I sure know a thing about being scared of other cats cause they are scary looking--you should see Zulu and Frodo first thing in the morning (they are even scarier than normal!)!! YIKES!
ReplyDeleteAnd they are BOYS! Boys are GROSS! Except Bear. He wasn't gross. Most of the time anyway. ~Ellie Mae
DeleteThere is never anything stupid when it comes to mice, alive or dead! Maxwell likes to dunk them in the big water bowl.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom tells me I'm not allowed to do that! I drown them anyway and then I get bored and move on ... ~Latte
DeleteMudpie wants a home where the squeezies roam too!!!
ReplyDeleteWe're close to being there. My Mom always buys a ton when she finds them on sale. Not that I'm complaining! ~Latte
DeleteLatte, if your mom had just appreciated the gift you brought her, you all wouldn’t be having this “stupid” conversation! :)
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY! You totally get it! ~Latte
DeleteI have a lot of kitties that want to live where the squeeze ups roam too. :)
ReplyDeleteMy Mom always buys a ton when she finds them on sale. So we are stocked up. Not that I'm complaining! ~Latte
DeleteWe're still stuck on Momma Kat not appreciating your mousie gift to her, Latte. So ungrateful!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU! Humans need to learn to be thankful for all the things we do for them! They joke about us laying around all day and doing nothing, but we work hard! ~Latte
DeleteExit stage left. A good strategy to avoid the {ahem}...well you know. On another note, sorry your 'gift' wasn't fully appreciated. Better luck next time.
ReplyDeleteFun? Drama? Nonsense? Isn't that the best part? Hahaha.
DeleteEM, some boy cat over here hears the word stupid a lot too. Or dum dum.
ReplyDeleteThat's not nice! Dexter can't help being the way he is! ~Ellie Mae
DeleteI can't believe your momma didn't appreciate the mousie gift! Flynn used to play with them then give them to Eric to eat. Eric used to wash the Flynn slobber off in the water bowl.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Cats are unique!
Delete