Friday, December 28, 2018

The Christmas calamity #ChewyInfluencer

With Momma's family in town, we won't be visiting much for the rest of the week. Next week, we'll resume our regular visiting schedule.

BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance
MK: Momma Kat
EM: Ellie Mae

{Momma and The Boy are lounging on the couch watching TV on Christmas Eve}
BC: {sniff sniff} Are those ... CHEEZ-ITS?!?!
The Boy: Want some, BuddyBear?
BC: Happy Christmas to me! Happy Christmas to me!
{Pause as The Boy crumbs a few and puts them where Bear can reach them}
BC: Hmph. Getting stingy in your old age.
The Boy: Excuse me? Would you rather I NOT share my Cheez-its at all?
MK: I can't believe you give him Cheez-its ... AND HE EATS THEM!
BC: Have you ever had a Cheez-it, Momma? You'd understand.
MK: I've eaten boxes, Bear.
BC: So your doughnut butt isn't really a doughnut butt, but a Cheez-it butt? And where have you been stashing them all these years?
MK: How did we get here?
BC: Let's see ... there was a Big Bang and a bunch of other stuff ... and then your parents ... well, you know.
The Boy: I think that was a rhetorical question, Bear.
BC: SHEESH! Like I can read Momma's mind! I just get a bunch of static and error messages! I swear! There's nothing there to read!
MK: {getting up} I'll be right back.
BC: Is it something I said? I swear. She gets more and more temperamental as she gets older. Oh! Momma's spot on the couch is vacated. Hmmm ... I bet it's warm ... and it would be the optimal place to appropriate more Cheez-its ...
The Boy: Come on, Bear ... jump up and sit next to me!
BC: Sitting next to The Boy ... might get Boyties ... HMPH! That'll teach her not to walk away from me!
{Bear jumps on the couch just in time for Momma's return}
MK: HEY! That's my ...
BC: The Boy gives me Cheez-its!
The Boy: Yeah. We're having a man thing here.
MK: Wasn't that what you were doing when you two had a peeing and barfing contest?
BC: YES!
The Boy: NO! We never did that.
BC: {mumbling to himself} Much. 
MK: Come on, Bear! Can I please have my spot?
BC: Daddy's going to give me more Cheez-its! He said so! YOU don't give me Cheez-its!

MK: Bear, MOVE! That's my spot.
BC: Not anymore! I'm having a moment with my Daddy!
MK: WHO?
BC: My Daddy!
{Pause}
BC: NUTS! HWK! HWK! Purr ... hiss ... purr ... hiss ... 
MK: Great. He's broken again. His brain is like a computer's ... sometimes it gets overwhelmed and stuck in a loop processing its little heart out and getting no where.
The Boy: What do we do with him?
MK: I'll pick him up and put him in the cat bed until his brain goes back to processing normally ... I have to be very careful not to trigger the shark ... once that bomb goes off ...
{Fifteen minutes pass and Momma sits back down on the couch; Bear's snoring in his cat bed}
EM: Mew m'ow mew meeee'ow!
MK: What? I can't understand you, Ellie! You're talking too fast!
EM: M'w m'row mew mewn meow!
BC: Yellie strikes again.
MK: What's she saying?
BC: She wants to know when Santa's going to be here.
MK: WHAT?!?  
BC: Big man in red!
EM: M'ow mew meeee'ow!
BC: She says we don't have a chimney!
MK: Santa doesn't care whether we have one or not.
EM: Mew meeeee-ow mew 'ow.
BC: Now that's ridiculous! I wouldn't assault the reindeer unless they look at me funny!
EM: Me 'ow mew 'ow!

MK: What's she saying?
BC: We're doomed.
MK: I must've missed a step here. We're doomed because we don't have a chimney?
BC: PAY ATTENTION! She's worried I'll intimidate the reindeer. I told her I won't mess with the reindeer unless they look at me funny and she said we're doomed!
EM: M'ow mew me'ow!
BC: You have to go hide under the bed ... AND LEAVE ME ALONE ... before Santa will come.
MK: Bear ...
BC: WHAT?! I'm just trying to make sure Smellie doesn't bother me ... err, Santa comes!
EM: Can the sleigh go without snow?
MK: Of course! Much of the world doesn't have snow this time of year.
EM: What about the cookies and milk!? We don't want to give Santa any reason not to leave presents!
BC: Yeah. Miss Doughnut Butt needs cookies!
MK: HEY!
EM: AND MILK! Don't forget the milk! Wait a ...
{Pause}
EM: Why would Momma eat Santa's cookies?
BC: I hear Santa near by!
EM: I don't hear anything!

BC: QUICK! Smellie, run and hide under the bed so he stops!
EM: Oh! Good idea! I'll hide under the bed! Let me know when he's been here and leaves presents!
{Ellie runs under the bed ... or as much as she fits under the bed anyway}
EM: I'm waiting!
MK: Bear, that wasn't very nice! 
BC: I'm a CAT. We don't do nice! If she weren't so stupid ...
MK: You know she's only going to fall for that once!
{Bear stares at Momma}
MK: {sigh} A year. Bear ...
BC: What about those Cheez-its? Don't think I'm sharing my Cheez-its with her.
The Boy: MY Cheez-its.
BC: WHATEVER!
MK: Bear, if you're hungry we have one more Chewy review to do this month.
BC: I'm hungry for Cheez-its!
MK: You've created a monster.
BC: DAAAAAAAAAAADDY!
MK: OKAY! Who's ready for our review of food?
BC: {whispering} I just got Smellie out of here! If she hears food ... she'll come out from being under the bed and leaving me in peace and be all up in my grill again!
MK: Bear ...
BC: FINE! If she has to be here ... just FINE! Ruin my Christmas Eve. If she asks me about Santa one more time ... 
EM: Did someone say food? And SANTA? Is he here yet?

BC: I thought you were waiting under the bed for Santa to get here.
EM: You weren't under the bed!
BC: That's because Santa and I are old friends.
EM: Well, I'll make friends with Santa too! He'd probably love to admire my tail and everything. I'll even share my scratcher with him!
BC: SEE what I have to put up with? Leave Smellie and Santa alone for a few minutes and they'll be braiding each others' hair and chatting away all night! Then the kids won't get their presents!

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Disclosure: We received Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food, (5.5-oz, case of 12) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Hill's Science Diet nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: This time, we're trying Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food.

BC: Vegetable nonsense?
MK: Nope.
BC: You're not trying to trick me?
MK: Nope. Definitely no veggies. The chunks of meat are kind of big for your liking - and the gravy is rich - but there's not nearly enough.
BC: How about some Cheez-its?
{Pause}
MK: This variety pack comes with tender chicken dinner, tender tuna dinner, and tender oceanfish dinner. 
BC: Any can that says "dinner" is sketchy - or at the very least, a mess of ingredients they don't want to promote as being part of the food. 
MK: Yes, I know that's the case usually. The ingredients between the flavors are mostly the same. They're made with natural ingredients plus vitamins, minerals and amino acids to deliver flavor, nutrition, and support a cat's metabolism.
BC: MoooooooooooooMMA!
MK: At least try it! Here!
BC: I don't think so. Nope. Not gonna eat it.
EM: Hmmmm ... I don't know about this ... the gravy is yummy ... 
{Pause}
EM: NOPE!
MK: Are you two for real? NEITHER of you will eat it? Bear, you set a bad example for your sister.
BC: Phht. Unless you want your rhino ... and by that, I mean Smellie ... to grow in size, you might thank me.
EM: Don't worry, Momma. I don't let Bear tell me what to eat or not eat. Food is too yummy to miss out on because of a grumpy-pants.
BC: Except when I make elephant noises behind you when you eat kibble.
EM: {sigh} Yeah. Except for that.
BC: And that's SIR Grumpy Pants to you!
{Silence}
MK: {sigh} You two. You might not have liked this food, but Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?
BC: Hmmm ... with your proclivity to "chat," you could make a few new friends and spare us the blah blah blah. Smellie! Go back under the bed!
EM: Do I have to?
BC: Do you want presents from Santa?
EM: YES!
BC: Then go! Or he'll skip this house!
EM: OH, NO! BYE!

We tried a second flavor of this food and neither cat would even sniff it. I'm not entirely sure what that means ... except that my cats don't like this food. 

Interested in trying Hill's Science Diet Adult Tender Dinner Variety Pack Canned Cat Food, (5.5-oz, case of 12)? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

29 comments:

  1. Well dang, you two actually did agree on something...a Christmas miracle!

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  2. Too bad that neither liked the food. Ross likes Cheez-Its - and so does Eddie (our dog), but no takers with the cats! They like to sniff human food but rarely ever try to eat it.

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  3. What a shame they didn’t like the food. It clearly doesn’t taste good. Cheez-Its on the other hand everybody likes! Ellie, I hope you didn’t have to wait too long for Santa!

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    1. When they do this with a national, well-known brand, I always get suspicious that things are not as they're portrayed.

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  4. How come WE never got Cheez Its??? We definitely feel deprived. Ellie, we are so glad you are such a sweet girl, wanting to make furriends with everyone.

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    1. I think Leia and I would hit it off and be BFFs! ~Ellie Mae

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  5. Our Daddy gives us cheeze-its too :) And Mommy gives us Smart Food.

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    Replies
    1. Daddy's are the best! Well, except for scratches and cuddling ;)

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  6. Great honest review ! Sometimes, we just don't like it, that's all. It's interesting to see that you both agree on it, MOL ! Purrs

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  7. One of our cats used to love popcorn and potato chips, but I never tried Cheez-Its with him. I bet he would have loved those too!
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  8. We hope you had a 'pawfect' howliday. Enjoy the visit with the family.

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  9. BC and EM, I love how you always tell the truth when you try foods out. I would probably feel the same way. I'm picky about foods after all. I am glad you two always tell the troof!

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    1. The truth is how it should be. Unless they start paying me the big bucks ... but even then I don't think I could stomach lying.

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  10. We love the Cheez it bits. They don't exist in Canada but we can imagine the deliciousness of them.
    Also we don't get Chewy here either.....poor us! We would love to try these delicious morsals at least once.

    Shoko, Tyebe and Budd

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  11. Oh well, maybe Chewy will start stocking what every cat really wants, Bear, and that is mouse on a plate–with cream dip and nip sprinkles. Pretty much like here and Mrs H's attempts at finding food for me, none actually hit the spot, ever. Have you tried fresh chicken? That is lovely and maybe cheaper than the tins as a wet food treat.
    Purrs
    ERin

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    Replies
    1. I reserve the right to turn up my nose at anything ;) ~Bear Cat

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    2. Me too. I did it in the shower once and changed my mind very quickly, MOL
      ER

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  12. Angel Caroline at William's Kith and Kin https://williamthecat.blogspot.com/ LURVED CheezIts!
    Happy Mew Year!

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  13. Well, maybe they should make that food with Cheeze-It toppers. We bet THAT would be a hit!

    Ellie, we bet Santa came to your house. Even without a chimney, he would make sure to bring good cats like you and Bear some presents.

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    1. You have no idea! Read Tuesday's post to find out just how screwed we were! ~Ellie Mae

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  14. Rosie is super duper picky and only likes certain foods so she understands that maybe this food just wasn't for you. But yes to Cheez its - they are a big hit with us dogs. XOXO, Ruby

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    Replies
    1. Do they get pickier as they get older? Because Bear used to eat just about anything that wasn't pate ... but now I'm lucky if I get him to eat his wet food treat two nights in a row!

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