The cat bed caper, part 2

While the cats' favorite beds are back where they belong after Momma washed them, the cats' other beds are MISSING! This post is more proof that if the cats aren't happy ... NO ONE is happy. If you missed part 1 of this caper, you may find it here: The cat bed caper.

BC: Bear Cat Kat 
MK: Momma Kat 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

{The cats are sleeping soundly}
MK: {walking into the family room where both cats are sleeping} What? No thanks for getting your beds back? 
BC: CONWAY TWITTY! TORTIE! CRAB TANK! JUMP OUT OF A CAKE!!!
MK: I don't even want to imagine what YOU'RE dreaming about.
EM: HEY! Keep it down over there! Now that I got my cat bed back, I need my beauty rest!
BC: Phht. Like THAT'S going to help! Try a paper bag!
EM: Shut up, pipsqueak!
BC: Pipsqueak?! PIPSQUEAK?!?!?!? I'll &#*@ you up!
EM: That's what Momma calls you when you growl and hiss at her when it's time for your insulin shot.
BC: And what happens to her?
EM: You ... err ... mess her up?
BC: Not a question. That's an exclamation point!
EM: Then again, she laughs when you growl and hiss at her, so maybe your hiss is worse than your bite.
BC: Come over here and find out!
MK: Now that the cat beds are washed, don't they smell great?
BC: Sleeeeeeeeepy ...

EM: {from her bed on the top of the cat tree} To be honest, you didn't APOLOGIZE for taking our beds either.
BC: Can ... you ... two ... ... keeeeep ... it ... down ... oveeeeeeer ... ... there? {LOUD SNORE}.
EM: HEY! From here, I can see where my cube bed is supposed to be! Now it's gone!
BC: HUH? Bed? MISSING?!?!
EM: MY BED IS MISSING!

BC: You're laying on it!
EM: Bear, I'm talking about the cat cube - not the bed I'm lying in!
BC: My bed is missing?
MK: I thought you were sleeping!
BC: How can a cat sleep when his bed is missing?
MK: Oh, for the love! You're IN a bed! You can sleep in a bed! The other bed, that you didn't even choose to sleep in, is in the wash! Remember, I washed half of them earlier ... and now I'm washing the other half - the beds from the other half of the room.
BC: I find it disturbing that you don't see the problem!
MK: I find it disturbing that you were PERFECTLY happy, ASLEEP, in your cat bed and the prospect that ANOTHER bed is missing THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO SLEEP IN jolted you back to wakefulness.
BC: Phht. It's all about choice. I want THE CHOICE to sleep in the other bed.

MK: Go back to sleep.
BC: I can't sleep in this bed anymore.
MK: What?
BC: I want the bed I can't have. And since I can have this bed, I don't want it.
MK: This is ridiculous.
BC: I know! You think our beds need washing!
MK: WAIT! Where are you going?
BC: I'm going to my office!
MK: Come again?
BC: {GASP} My bed is missing from my office!

MK: Our STACKS! cubes are your office?
BC: This is a travesty! This is against the Geneva Cat Convention! And this is just incredibly rude!
{Pause}
BC: Yep! My bed is DEFINITELY gone! Now, where am I going to sleep?

{Momma rolls her eyes}
BC: I HEARD THAT!
EM: Whoa! I didn't hear anything! What did Momma say?
BC: She didn't say anything ... I just know what she WANTS to say.
EM: Oh! What's that?
BC: She wants to tell you that you ask too many questions.
EM: REALLY?
MK: NO! I was thinking that Bear's being a tad dramatic.
EM: About how many questions I ask?
BC: Hahaha.
MK: No. About his need for the bed that goes in his "office."
BC: A TAD dramatic?! Lady, you haven't seen anything yet! AHEM!

MK: Oh, for the ...
BC: I have no place to sleep! I'm a poor, sweet, innocent and perfectly lovable kitty cat with no soft bed to lay his adorable head!
MK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
EM: That's not funny, Momma! The struggle is real!
BC: I guess I'll just have to curl up on the HARD cardboard and hope everything won't hurt later. Oh, woe is me! WOE! WOE!

EM: WHOA! 
BC: WOE!!!
EM: WHOA!!!!!
BC: WOE!!!!!!!!!
MK: I bet you both twenty dollars EACH that you two aren't even saying the same word ... but just because the words SOUND similar, you have to compete to see who says it the loudest!
EM: Bear said "whoa!" Like "Whoa! Nelly!"
BC: That's not what I said, Smellie Neigh Nelly!
EM: YES, it is!
BC: NO! I was lamenting my WOE! Woe being my great distress at not having a soft bed to sleep on!
EM: Whoa! at your woe!
MK: NO! There's NO woe or whoa! Bear left a perfectly nice and soft bed - WHERE HE'D ALREADY FALLEN ASLEEP - to lay in the STACKS! Bear's CHOOSING to sleep without a bed - because he has plenty available to him.
{Silence}
MK: Hello?!?

{Pause}
MK: I see you, Bear! You can't ignore me just because you don't like what I'm saying!
EM: Well, we ARE cats.
BC: I'm VERY disturbed.

MK: You can say THAT again.
BC: Phht. Now, who's not listening?!
MK: But ...
BC: DisturBED: A cat's state of mind when he finds his bed is not where it belongs.
MK: I can't talk to you.
BC: That's fine because I don't listen.
{Twenty-four hours pass ... ALL the cats' beds are clean and back where they belong}
MK: {walking into the family room} OH! Bear's on his shelf!
BC: Oh, great. The pawparazzi showed up.
MK: I haven't seen you on your shelf in a while!
BC: Meh.

MK: I have to get a picture of this!
BC: HEY! HEY! No pawparazzi!
MK: {running back with the camera} LOOK CUTE!
BC: How INSULTING! I always look cute!
MK: That's why I always have to take your picture!
BC: Hmm. You have a point. I wouldn't want this amount of cute to go to waste.
{Momma keeps taking pictures}
BC: Okay! OKAY! That's enough! No more pictures!

MK: Maybe I should try to get some artsy pictures?
BC: I said no more pictures!
MK: Awwww! This is a great angle!
BC: That's enough!
MK: But you're so ...
BC: NO!
MK: But ... 
BC: NO!

MK: FINE!
BC: You're welcome. I'm moving anyway.
MK: To your office?
BC: No.
MK: OH! The cat condo on the cat tree!
BC: Don't even think about it!

MK: WHAT?
{Pause}
MK: {as she lifts up her camera to take a picture of Bear's new spot} Oh. No pictures.
{Pause}
MK: PLEASE?!?
BC: Just one.
MK: OKAY!
BC: You already took one!
MK: Oh.
BC: FINE! Take another one but make it quick.
{SNAP! of the camera}
MK: Bear, why don't you want to sleep in your office? You haven't napped on your shelf or in the cat condo for a long time!
BC: I don't have an office.
MK: Earlier, you called the STACKS! box your office!
BC: Not anymore.
MK: Why not?
BC: The STACKS! bed has bed bugs!
MK: WHAT?! I just washed it!
BC: It has Eweties!
MK: Ummm ... huh?
BC: Or maybe they should be called Elliooties?
EM: Oh, no! Is it contagious? Because I slept in that bed a couple hours ago right after Momma took it out of the dryer!
BC: Exactly.

MK: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!
EM: Oh, what? Are Elliooties really bad? Am I going to have to go to the vet? Will they eat me?
BC: BED bugs: The cooties a cat finds in his bed after his gross sisfur uses it.
EM: But I don't have a sisfer!
BC: Air BED: A bed occupied by an airhead.
EM: Water BED: A bed occupied by a cat who's all wet!
BC: BED spread: What happens when you lay in a bed and let it all hang out.
EM: BEDroll: The fat cascading from a cat chillaxing in his bed.
BC: BEDraggle: The YUCK! left on the bed when a gross cat uses a bed.
EM: BEDevil: A jerk cat on a bed.
BC: DayBED: A bed a cat only uses once before realizing it belongs to another cat.
EM: BEDpan: A cat who doesn't know the difference between a bed and a litter box.
MK: Hahaha! I forgot about that! When Bear was a kitten and I was making sure he'd use a litter box, I followed advice to put him in the litter box after he ate or drank. But I didn't account for a cat who'd been living on the street and never saw a full food bowl before! He finally just curled up in the litter box since I kept putting him there.
BC: PerturBED: A cat's state of mind when he finds his bed is occupied by another cat.
EM: O-BEDience: A bed occupied by a nice cat.
BC: EmBED: A contaminated bed.
EM: BEDazzle: The sparkle left in a bed after a pretty cat has slept in it.
MK: Ellie!
EM: What? Bear started it!
MK: NO! At the start of this post, you complained because your cube bed was missing! It's where it belongs now and you choose to lay on the printer and not your bed RIGHT NEXT to it??
EM: SO?!

{Bear jumps up to Ellie's unoccupied cube bed}
EM: HEY!
BC: Payback is a @itch.

{Pause}
BC: BEDsore: How a cat feels when HER bed is taken.
EM: Momma!!!!! Bear ...
MK: {walking out of the room} Work it out amongst yourselves.
{A few minutes pass and Momma comes back out into the family room excitedly}
MK: OH! I get it! It's BEDtime for a BEDpost! BEDpost: A blog post about cat beds and words with"BED" in them! BEDtime: The time to talk about cat beds and words with"BED" in them!
{Pause}
MK: OH! And BEDside: The side of the bed argument one is on!
{Silence}
MK: Bear?! Ellie?! Where did everyone go? Hello?!?!? HELLO!? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I TALK NO ONE LISTENS BUT I LISTEN TO YOUR NONSENSE ALL THE TIME?!?!
BC: {with Ellie in the window} Don't you dare say a word! You think she was upset before? Wait until she realizes we aren't using ANY of the clean beds!
EM: Hahaha. You're so smart, Bear!
BC: I know.
MK: NO ONE IS USING ANY OF THE CAT BEDS!!! YOU WERE SO DESPERATE FOR THEM AND NOW NO ONE'S USING THEM!
EM: Bingo!
BC: SHHHHH! Keep it down! If she finds us, she'll wash our windowsill towels!

© 2020 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2020. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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42 comments

  1. That looks so familiar and here I thought Simon was the only bed stealer!

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  2. You kids need window beds! They are awesome!!!

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    Replies
    1. We do? They are?! Our Momma puts folded towels on our window sills so we're more comfy napping in the sun! ~Ellie Mae

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  3. OMCs I love the perch suspended up in the air...very magical and I know 100% Angel Madi would have love it too.
    The higher the better for her. She was quite adventurous
    Hugs Cecilia
    PS the art work on my blog is made out of acrylic …a friend was camping in Washington on Icicle Creek she shared it with me.

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE those shelves! They are gorgeous ... and Bear loves the lower one! Ellie's too scared to try them.

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  4. "I want the bed I can't have. And since I can have this bed, I don't want it."
    This goes for every cat in the universe, Bear!

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    Replies
    1. The Boy says cats and women are alike. I take the 5th. ~Bear Cat

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  5. guyz....it IZ all bout choize....ask yur mom N dad how they wood feel if they wented ta like
    de store that sellz bedz N saw everee single bed waz just like de one next two it and 5 aislez
    over...de eggs act same bed in de eggz act same room and five aislez over.....yea

    oh, N we troo lee iz sorree dood bout de hole shotz thing ♥♥♥ we noe it sux ~~~~~ ♥♥♥

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    Replies
    1. You Tabbies have an excellent point! Humans are picky too! ~Bear Cat

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  6. A bed is never the same after it has been washed. It took a lot of hard work to get them just how you liked them, right?

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    1. It took YEARS for those beds to get exactly how we like them! And neither of us pee or barf in our beds - so why do they need washing? ~Bear Cat

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  7. Replies
    1. We do! Can you believe that up until Momma started blogging, I only had ONE bona fide cat bed?!? I know! How did I survive!?! ~Bear Cat

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  8. Bear, were you dreaming about my 2 favorite things in life? You sure know how to grab a girl's attention at the start of a post! MOL...hope everything is returned to normal for you soon, kiddos!

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    Replies
    1. You noticed that, huh? We kind of did that on purpose ... the fact that it was so close to your birthday was a coincidence though.

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  9. AMARULA: We always want what we can't have don't we Bear!? Sleep tight!

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    1. Wait ... so are you saying that since I want to love you, I can't have you?! ~Bear Cat

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  10. Of course they aren't using them now, they smell like soap and not like a kitty. Maybe somenip on them would encourage them. :)

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    1. We love you for recommending Nipping up our beds! My Momma could learn a thing or two from you! ~Bear Cat

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  11. Well, just when you two had the beds perfectly furred up, Momma Kat went and washed all your good work away. That sounds about how it works here, too, Bear and Ellie!

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    1. It took YEARS for those beds to get exactly how we like them! And neither of us pee or barf in our beds - so it's truly a mystery why they need washing! ~Bear Cat

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  12. I don't have a specific cat bed on account of the fact that every bed, chair and cardboard box in the house is MINE! The old woman spent a lot of money on a cat bed once. I slept in it for one day and then totally ignored it (she wan't best pleased. He-he!)

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  13. We really want one of those perches, but we can't put them up on the wall here. You're so lucky to have one! Guess what? I never sleep in a cat bed. Ever. I only sleep on the human bed, and I have my own pillow. Lexy loves to sleep in different places throughout the day.

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  14. Is there a phrase similar to "the grass is always greener" for cat beds?
    There's a constant nomadic shift from bed to bed here.
    Rufus is great at capturing the most prized beds. He sits on who ever is in possession of the choice bed of the moment, until Mickey or Ernie gives up and leaves.
    xxoo
    Maggie

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    Replies
    1. Haha. If Bear wants the bed Ellie's in, he'll start licking her until she leaves! It doesn't take that long for her to have enough.

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  15. We got beds all over the house, cuz there are so many of us. However, that doesn't mean we actually share. Like first come first serve kind of thing. No! What the AssRabbit wants, the AssRabbit gets by biting bottoms, and shoving us out of the bed. Right now we are all fighting over who gets the Moses Basket on the cocktail table. Evfurrybuddy wants that basket. It's got high sides and is comfortapurrly roomy. Mom has been told to go get more of them Moses Beds. Otherwise, hekk is going to erupt all over the place!

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    Replies
    1. If Bear wants the bed Ellie's in, he'll start licking her until she leaves! It doesn't take that long for her to have enough. Oddly enough, the cats USUALLY don't want the same beds. Ellie has hers and Bear has his - I'm guessing they respect the others' smell. But after wash day ... it's time to claim their beds again and possession goes to whoever gets there first.

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  16. Hmm, I guess you guys have to glad that the staff cant wash the windowledges and walls too, else where would you have to escape to?!
    Purrs
    ERin

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    Replies
    1. Don't give Momma any ideas! When she gets "productive," nothing's safe! ~Bear Cat

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  17. Uh-oh, you two joined forces against Mama! What does that mean (other than poor Mama)? :)

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    1. We're getting REALLY good at joining forces ... especially when it comes to demanding treats!

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  18. I don't have anyone to compete with! I'm starting to feel neglected about the! Mom...maybe you should look for another Tuxie for me to fuss with?

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    Replies
    1. We can't imagine a tuxie that would hold a candle to you, Katie Isabella.

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  19. Bear, offices aren't for sleeping, they're for working. Unless you work from your bed. But somehow I doubt that.

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