WTF?!?!

Life with cats often takes ... interesting and ... unexpected turns. Sometimes, a human just wants to scream, "WTF?!" And while many people don't know what a flibbertigibbet is - just the sound of the word fits nonetheless. So we're asking ... life with cats ... WHAT THE FLIBBERTIGIBBET?!?!?

While we're on the subject, WTF is a flibbertigibbet? Per Merriam-Webster: A flibbertigibbet is a "silly flighty person." We think "cat" fits in there nicely.




BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat] 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat] 
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 



PART 1:
{Momma's checking Bear's blood sugar}
BC: WHAT?!?! No foreplay?!
{The Boy spits out his drink laughing}
MK: What?
BC: Usually, you pet me a few times and tell me I'm a good boy before doing the mean stuff!
MK: I'm kind of in a hurry because The Boy and I are ...
The Boy: NO FOREPLAY! Hahahahahaha.
BC: You gotta romance a guy sometimes!
The Boy: He has a point.
BC: No. I have nineteen points.
EM: Whatever you say, ONEFANG.
MK: Oh, SHUT UP!
BC: HEY! That's not nice! You can't talk to my sisfur that way!
MK: I wasn't talking to your sisfur!
BC: WHAT?! HOW RUDE! That's not nice to talk to ME that way!
MK: I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to The Boy.
BC: Oh. Then that's NOT not nice.
The Boy: Erm ... WHAT?!?
EM: Umm ... I hate to be the one to tell you this ... but Daddys are meant to be seen and not heard.
The Boy: And I wonder who told you that.

BC: It wasn't me! I tell her Not-the-Mommas shouldn't be seen OR heard.
The Boy: KAT?!?!
MK: Bear? Where did you hear the word foreplay?
BC: Last night, you and The Boy were doing SOMETHING and you said, "what? no foreplay?"
EM: EWWWW! They were kissy-facing?! YUCK! The thought of kissy-facing with Bear makes me throw up in my mouth.
BC: HEY! I'll have you know that as a virile and intensely masculine mancat, I wouldn't get within five feet of you - much less kiss you.
{Kat pokes Bear's ear to check his blood sugar}
{SQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
EM: Yep. Virile and masculine. You sound like a two-year-old girl!
BC: Don't be ridiculous. I sound like AT LEAST a four-year-old.
The Boy: No, see, that's not what happened! Your Momma and I weren't doing anything! Well, I mean, we WERE doing something - but not the something you imply we did.
BC: We don't want to know!
The Boy: It wasn't anything related to kissy-facing!


PART 2:
{Momma's prepping Bear's nightly toothbrushing, blood sugar check and medicine; this includes putting toothpaste on the toothbrush}
EM: OH, NO! Our toothbrush! I HATE having my teeth brushed with that nasty toothpaste!
BC: {running to the cat tree corner to hide} BYE!
MK: Oh, that's just perfect. I'm not even going to TRY to drag you out!
{Momma goes into the kitchen to pop a can of Fancy Friskies to help motivate Bear along - she sets it down on the floor and then goes back in the kitchen to get something to drink while she waits for Bear to come out}
{LICK! LICK! LICK! LICK!}
MK: {thinking to herself} Huh. He came for the wet food super fast!
{Pause}
MK: {rounding the corner} AHA! I've caught ...
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Momma's trying to kill me! Momma's trying to kill me! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MK: !*&^@!
{Pause}
MK: {thinking to herself} What was Ellie licking if she wasn't by the food plate?!
EM: {running around like a nut} I'm going to die! I'm going to die! HELP! HELP! Momma's going to eat me! HELP!
MK: Ellie, it's okay.
EM: You {HUFF PUFF} think it's {HUFF PUFF} okay to {HUFF PUFF} eat me?
MK: I'm not going to eat you!
EM: Then {HUFF PUFF} what {HUFF PUFF} horrible thing {HUFF PUFF} are you {HUFF PUFF} going to do to me?
MK: Nothing! I brush your teeth every other night - this is your night off. I only brush Bear's teeth every night.
BC: {from the cat tree corner} WHAT?!?! That's not fair!
MK: Says the cat that has three teeth.
BC: FEROCIOUS teeth.
MK: Wait a minute!
{Pause}
MK: ELLIE MAE KAT! YOU LICKED THE TOOTHPASTE OFF THE TOOTHBRUSH!
BC: Does that mean you won't brush my teeth?
MK: No. It means I have to walk back to the pantry and squeeze some more onto the toothbrush.
BC: RATS!
MK: Ellie, you always complain about how the toothpaste tastes! Yet, you licked it off the brush?
EM: Erm ... I thought it was a Squeeze-up?
BC: I wouldn't have believed it possible - but you ARE stupider than you look.


PART 3:
{Momma's walking around angrily - mumbling under her breath}
BC: {whispering to Ellie} What did The Boy do this time?
EM: He didn't do anything.
BC: Oh, crap. That means she found my masterpiece.
EM: No.
BC: I think you underestimate my artistic abilities.
EM: I share a litter box with you - I understand your artistic "abilities" just fine. She's not mad at you.
BC: How do you know?
EM: I asked her why she was mad!
BC: What'd she say?
EM: She said she was upset that she couldn't beat herself at Tick Jack Toes.
BC: Tic-tac-toe?
EM: Isn't that what I said?
BC: Whatever. Anyway. She's mad because she can't beat herself at a game?
EM: That's what she said.
BC: Wow. The Boy must've done something REALLY bad this time if she won't tell you what he did.
EM: Maybe she told the truth and she's mad that she couldn't beat herself at Tic-tac-toe. 
BC: The Boy can't keep himself out of trouble. Yep. My money is on him doing something to #*&@ off Momma.
EM: I don't know. I imagine not being able to beat yourself is frustrating. Just the other day, I ...
BC: {walking away} Never mind.


PART 4:
EM: Hi, Bear.
BC: Meh.
EM: Do you want to play with me?
BC: No.
EM: Why not?!?!
BC: I'm sleeping.
EM: No, you're not! You must be awake because you're talking to me! So why won't you play with me?
BC: I'm dead.
EM: Oh, okay. Rest in peace.
{Ellie finds Momma}
EM: Momma, will you play with me?
MK [Momma Kat]: Give me a minute.
EM: I asked Bear to play with me first.
MK: Okay.
EM: But he can't because he's dead.
MK: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
EM: Yeah! First, he tried to tell me he couldn't play with me because he's sleeping! He can't pull one over on me anymore! I told him if he's talking to me, he isn't asleep! HA!
MK: He told you that he's dead?
EM: Yes.
MK: Do dead people talk?
EM: I don't know! I've never met a dead person.
MK: Do dead cats talk?
EM: Well, Bear just did, so yes!

© 2021 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2021. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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32 comments

  1. Living with cats is entertaining...maybe not in a good way every time, but they keep us humans on our toes!

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  2. The Feline Walking Dead, I'll see if it's on Netflix!

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  3. There is never a dull moment with you two!

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  4. I can’t believe you two let your mom brush your teeth. No way would that happen around here! ~Ernie

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    1. To say that we "let" her brush our teeth is a bit of an overstatement. ~Bear Cat
      Still I didn't realize how nice Bear was about the whole thing until we adopted Ellie. She makes a big production of it - thus me only brushing her teeth every other day (and I dread it more than she does). ~Kat

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  5. OH you got me laughing! I needed that! XXXOOO

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  6. The fun never ends at your house. Ellie, did you really thing the tooth paste was a squeezie ?

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  7. Yup, we think libbertigibbet-y pretty well describes you guys. And that's why we like you!
    Your fur-iends,
    Norman & Elsa 🐾

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  8. MOL MOL now I finally have a title... that is a purrfect description for me. silly flighty person
    Good too see you all
    Hugs cecilia

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  9. AMARULA: Playing dead! Why didn't I think of that!? I will try that the next time Frodo tries to talk to me--you are always full of good ideas Bear

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    1. To be honest, Amarula, our more than eager siblings rarely take a cue. Bless their hearts ... they can't help being dumb as rocks. ~Bear Cat

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  10. That teeth brushing thing sounds like a quite the event! Ellie Mae ... maybe you could just pretend it's a squeeze up every time?

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  11. Our mom gave up on toothbrushing. Let's just say it didn't go well.

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  12. I've never once tried to brush a cat's teeth. Or trim their nails. I'm a wimp! MOL

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    1. It's certainly not for the faint of heart! Bear was actually pretty good about having his teeth brushed. But clipping claws often led to some human letting blood.

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  13. I'm so very sorry for the loss of Bear. Big healing hugs. ♥

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  14. Had to stop by and offer our condolences.
    Losing a beloved cat (friend) is never easy and leaves a big hole in our hearts.
    Sending lots of hugs and purrs.
    Purrs, Julie and the mum

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Bear was my heart and soul cat - which makes everything that much more intense and painful.

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  15. I just heard about Bear and I am so sorry. I know he was your soul cat and how devastated you are. There are no words that will help, and none can convey how heartbroken I am for you. I send my love and keep you in my thoughts, but I know it is not enough.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. It's wonderful to know that other people understand and that I'm not alone.

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  16. Oh No! We just heard about Bear. We are weeping right now. We don't have the words. We know it won't fill the super Bear sized hole in your heart. We are sending you loads and loads of love, virtual hugs and condolences.

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