A Christmas story

Ellie tries to explain Christmas to Latte - but gets confused by Latte's questions.

EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy lady cat] 
L: Latte [tortie/tabby girl kitten] 
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie 

L: Okay, Ellie. Explain Christmas again.
EM: I've already explained it to you fifty-four times!
L: You can't count.
EM: Well, it FELT like I explained Christmas fifty-four times.
L: So Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus.
EM: Yes.
L: He's the guy in the red suit with the beard and the flying reindeer.
EM: NO! That's Santa!
L: What does he have to do with Jesus?
EM: MOMMA?!?!?!? The kitten's asking me a bunch of questions I don't know the answer to!
L: What questions DO you know the answer to?
EM: Oh, shut up.

L: Ellie, why don't you come over here so we don't have to talk across the room?
EM: Umm ... okay. 
L: And why do people celebrate some weirdo coming down their chimney to leave presents? Momma always tells us not to take tuna treats from strangers. Isn't Santa a stranger?
EM: Ummm ... I guess. But it's also true that you don't look a tuna treat in the mouth.
L: What?
EM: Never mind.
L: So Santa flies around and leaves presents for people he doesn't know.
EM: Well, no. I mean, he knows whether they've been good or bad.
L: How?
EM: Erm ... he watches?
L: This Santa guy sounds like a real weirdo. He watches people, goes into their houses uninvited and leaves presents? Does he also eat cats and little children?

EM: Hmm.
L: And how does Santa know what people want again?
EM: Some people write Santa a letter telling him what they want, but a lot of kids visit him and sit on his lap.
L: So Santa's a pervert? Because I can't imagine sitting on a stranger's lap ...
EM: Well, when you put it that way ...
L: And how do reindeer fly? Have you ever seen a flying reindeer? It's like a flying pig!
EM: Maybe they're magic.
L: Pigs?
EM: NO! Reindeer. One reindeer even has a laser pointer on his nose!
L: And Santa visits everyone in the world in one night.
EM: Yeah! By magic!

L: I'm finding this all really hard to believe. Santa sounds like he should be incarcerated ...
EM: In - what- erated?
L: In prison! 
EM: No. You said In - something - erated. NOT in prison.
L: NO! Incarcerated MEANS in prison.
EM: Oh.
L: And Santa has more tricks than a nasty politician.
EM: A pol-i-ermm-what?
L: Politician.
EM: So wait ... Santa's in prison? Or is that Jesus? Or is Jesus the politician?
L: Don't worry. I'll 'splain everything to you.

{Fifteen minutes pass as the cats chat}
{Ellie walks into the same room as Momma}
EM: Umm ... Momma?
MK: Yes?
EM: Does Santa HAVE to come to our house?
MK: No.
EM: Okay. Good. Because Santa's a weirdo.
MK: {sigh} LATTE JANE KAT, what did you tell your sisfur!???
MK: Ellie, you can't believe everything your sisfur tells you.
EM: You said that about Bear too! Well, except he wasn't a sisfur. Not that I checked.

MK: Oh, sweet girl, your Daddy and I love you.
EM: So Santa's not coming to our house?
MK: No.
EM: Phew. Ummm ... are you SURE?
MK: Yes.
EM: I guess I don't have to hide under the bed.
L: {from the other room} HE'S NOT COMING BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EXIST!
EM: {GASP!} That's not true Momma, is it? Is Christmas all a lie?!
MK: {sigh} No. It's not true.
EM: Okay. Good. You can tell Santa I want tuna treats under our Christmas tree.
MK: You said you didn't want him to come to our house!
EM: You can meet him outside, right?
MK: Okay.


© 2021 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2021. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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  1. No, I dont think you should encourage your mom to meet strange men outside. What would the boy think, huh?
    Anyways, the Big S says, and I have this straight from the the reindeers mouth, that due to travelling through time and space and dimensional polarital shifts and a few localised wormholes (How does he keep that red suit clean after all that???) they can actually be everywhere at the same time, for just a momentary fraction of a millienth trillienth of a second. That's why, like scared mice, one blink and they've come and gone. A bit like your favourite treats, but even faster.
    Festive seasonal purrs and mincepie and cream dreams

    1. You might be right! Though I'm not 100% sure I understand what you're saying. Merry Christmas! ~Ellie Mae

  2. Ellie Christmas is really hard to explain. Tell Latte to just dive in and enjoy it
    Merry Christmas Cecilia

  3. Christmas sure can be hard to explain, but we're still wishing all of you a very Meowy Christmas!

  4. It is confusing if you think too much about it. Merry Christmas! Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

    1. Thinking is hard work! No one ever says that! Merry Christmas! ~Ellie Mae

  5. That sure splains it all I think! Merry Christmas from all of us!!!

  6. Great explanation, Ellie ! Don't overthink and join the fun, Latte ! Merry Christmas to all of you ! Purrs

  7. Super fun explanation! Hoping you all have a wonderful Christmas!

  8. Love, peace, and purrs to you and yours from Deb and the Zee/Zoey gang - Zee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut, Rolz, Kizmet, Jazmine, and Shadow.

    1. You gave a great explanation EM. Latte needs time to absorb your wise words.

    2. Unknown: How can my sisfur absorb my words when she doesn't stop talking?! ~Ellie Mae

  9. Delightful explanations ~ Xo

    Merry Christmas to You,

    A ShutterBug Explores,
    aka (A Creative Harbor)

  10. You guys! you made our Mom laugh so hard, her coffee came out her nose! Purrfect! Santa said you’ve been good this year… So here's sending you lots of love this holiday season. Stay blessed and stay happy, always. Merry Christmas! Love Marv and Mom

    1. Merry Christmas to you too! However, if Santa is really watching, he'd know Latte was a huge PITA! ~Ellie Mae

  11. Come on over Ellie Mae. I'll explain to you. You and Katie can both sit in my lap and I'll explain.

  12. Latte, I think you got it right. Santa is a weirdo, between spying on us and sneaking into the house. Merry Christmas! XO

    1. How is it that I'm so much younger than Ellie, but so much smarter?!? ~Latte

  13. It's okay. Ellie Mae. Santa is maybe a little strange, but he is nice! Promise! Merry Christmas, sweet friends. XO

  14. Merry Christmas to you all, xoxo Little Miss Titch

  15. Ha ha, isn't Latte the precocious one! Merry Christmas to your family from me, Luke, and the flock! ♥

    1. I don't use fancy words ... I just call her annoying! ~Ellie Mae

      Merry Christmas!

  16. Merry Christmas to all of you and double Pawkisses too🐾😽🎄✨

  17. Since you put it like that Latte, it is a wonder that Santa hasn't been locked up! I hope you both, and your family had a lovely Christmas.

  18. We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!
    "Oh, haiiii Ellie!" ~Woodrow

  19. Don’t let that youngster get to you, Ellie Mae. You know the true meaning of Christmas. And I hope you all had a good one! ~Ernie

  20. Hee, hee...good thing Ellie is pretty, right? Hoping the "weirdo" was good to you all! Happy Howlidays.

  21. Oh girls, we sure hope y'all had a pawsum Christmas and got purrlenty of treats. Santa doesn't come to our house either. And, after listenin' to ya'll explain everything, maybe we should be happy about that. MOL Big hugs

    Luvs ya'

    RaenaBelle and Zebby

    1. I'm still confused how the birth of Jesus is celebrated with a big guy in a red suit. Humans ... can't understand them, can't shoot them! ~Latte

  22. Dear Ellie Mae and Latte and Momma Kat ... We took the holidays off from much blogging, but we thought of yoo and wish yoo a Wondepurr 2022 with lots of love and joy. Yoo are dear to us. Love, Dori


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