Ellie chats with her brofur (kind of)

Ellie overhears Kat talking about her conversations with Bear and Ellie decides to speak to her brofur too. Of course, Kat, ever the meddling Momma, must listen in. What she hears makes her laugh and cry. What would your cats say to their brofurs or sisfurs on the other side?




EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy lady cat] 
L: Latte [tortie/tabby girl kitten] 
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie 



{Momma hears talking in the other room ... she walks in ...}
EM: &*@# the &#*@&ing *&@(, BEAR!
MK: Erm ... Ellie?
EM: Can't you see I'm busy? I don't want to be disturbed!
MK: Ummm ... okay. But who are you talking to?
EM: BEAR! OBVIOUSLY!
MK: Okkkkkay. But why?
EM: Because it annoys him!
MK: Hahaha. But he's not ... err ... alive.
EM: Stop asking so many questions! I'm BUSY.
MK: I was just wondering ...
EM: You'll have to come back later!



MK: But ...
EM: I'm talking to BEAR right now! If you don't mind, this is a private conversation.
MK: Umm ... you don't have to talk out loud, Ellie. Where Bear is, he can hear you without speaking.
EM: You mean ... you mean ... Bear's IN my mind?!? No wonder I've been so tired and had so little patience for stupidity!
MK: Not exactly ...
EM: Oh. You mean he can read my mind?
MK: Not really. We can just communicate with him differently now than we could before.
EM: Why?
MK: Erm ... I'll leave you alone.
EM: FINALLY! You're done asking me questions!
MK: Ooooookay. {mumbling to herself} Man, she wasn't kidding about lack of patience.
{Momma walks out of the room - but stays nearby to hear Ellie speak}
EM: Lalalalalalalalala.



{Pause}
EM: {thinking} Okay. I think she's gone.
{Pause}
EM: BEAR, I have a bone to pick with you!
{Pause}
EM: No. Wait! I have ... how many bones does a kitten have? Whatever the answer is, that's how many bones I have to pick with you! I was doing JUST FINE as an only cat! JUST. FINE. And you felt the need to send Latte to Momma. That @*#(ing KITTEN! You ruined everything!
{Pause}
EM: Momma said you sent Latte to her to help her feel better. What kind of $(#*ed up *#&@ is that? What am I? Chopped liver?! I was taking care of Momma JUST FINE!! I did everything you told me to! I even cuddled with her!


{Pause}
EM: Is this revenge for Momma adopting me? Because that's just some kind of *@(&ed up revenge!
{Pause}
EM: You should be #($*ing ashamed of your &*#@$$ self! I get it. Ha. Ha. Ha. Let Ellie see what it's #&*$ing like! Let HER deal with a #($*@$$ ($*#ing kitten! I hope you're &(@*#ing happy with yourself, you #*@( *#%!!!
{Silence}
EM: I can't #(@ing EAT, I can't (#*%ing SLEEP, I can't even #@(%ing POOP without a #*$(ing kitten in my face! I know! I KNOW! Now I see what it's like to have a *#*@ing annoying #*@(ing sibling! But all I wanted to be was your friend, you *$(#*ing jerkface!
{Pause}
EM:{mumbling to herself} All I wanted to be was your friend ... umm ... hmm ... Latte just wants to be my friend?
{Pause}
EM: You ... you ... sent me a ... friend? Granted, she's an annoying *#(@ing kitten - but I have a friend. I mean ... I don't always WANT her to be my friend ... but she is nonetheless.
{Pause}
EM: {whispering} Thank you, Bear.



{Momma melts and lets out a sigh}
EM: MOMMA?!?! You better NOT be listening! This is a conversation between Bear and ME!
{Momma stifles a giggle}
{Pause}
EM: I guess I should thank you, Bear, for teaching me all these bad words! Without you, I wouldn't be able to adequately express myself! Or at least, I wouldn't be able to express myself with your flair for the dramatic. No offense.
{Pause}
EM: Speaking of teaching me ... did you know I get in trouble when I repeat stuff you said? I don't think Momma can handle the truth. She said I'm a BAD influence on the kitten! Phht. No. I'm teaching her right! Sharing IS for sissies. Just between you and me, I think Momma needs therapy.
{Pause}
EM: Bear, I miss you. I miss you teaching me stuff.
{Pause}
EM: You should've seen the look on Momma's face when the kitten told her that the reason she climbed in the couch is because I told her it was a time machine! Hahahahaha. It was HILARIOUS. The kitten is so GULLIBLE. She's lucky I'm nice! You'd have a field day with her, Bear!


{Pause}
EM: Though she didn't believe me when I told her she was a dolphin. She DID climb in the toilet though! Momma gave her a bath after that.
{Pause}
EM: OH! Momma says you watch over us! What kind of #&@*ed up $#!+ is THAT? Pervert!
{Pause}
EM: But since you ARE watching over us ... you think you could give me a heads up when the kitten is about to pounce on me? That would really help me kick her @$$. You know I'm a good girl, but sometimes that #*@(ing kitten really *+##s me off!
{Pause}
EM: Just between you and me ... I've almost left a "gift" outside of the litter box several times when she scared the poop out of me.
{Pause}
EM: You always said I never shut up ... that I'd just go on and on and on ...
{Pause}
EM: ... And on and on and on and on ...



{Pause}
EM: And on. But before I forget, I also should thank you for always dropping whatever you were doing when I howled. I know there were several times you were snuggling with Momma and yet, you always came and found me so I didn't feel so alone. The kitten never does that! I could be howling in the throes of death and the kitten wouldn't even so much as twitch an ear! How rude!
{Pause}
EM: I guess, all things considered, you were a pretty good brofur. I'm sorry for annoying you. I wish we'd gotten to know each other better. Momma tells me all kinds of good stories and it's obvious how much she loves you and how much you mean to her. I can only hope I mean that much to her one day. Lastly, thank you for taking care of Momma until I found her. And thank you for sharing your stuff with me. I love you, Bear.
{Momma starts sobbing from around the corner}
EM: Bear, you could've warned me she was there, you big #*@(#*face! If you're going to be a &#($ing weirdo and *#(@ing watch over me, warn me of stuff! If you don't start warning me, I will never leave you alone, big boy!

© 2021 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2021. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 

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34 comments

  1. What a sweet conversation Ellie had with Bear, even if she does swear worse then a sailor.

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  2. That was a somewhat nice conversation MOL! I think Bear will help Ellie make peace with the newbie kitten soon.

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    Replies
    1. You think he'll help her run away? I would love him forever! ~Ellie Mae

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  3. Finally Ellie sees the wisdom that Angel Bear had on earth he is happy to share from above. I know Ellie appreciates that Bear was so tolerant with her when she was the new kid in the house.
    Happy Joyful healthy holidays to all
    Cecilia

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    Replies
    1. TOLERANT?!?!? That's not the word I'd use! Hahahaha. ~Ellie Mae

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  4. Aww...I can only imagine the conversations to Sam from Elsa and Norman. Well done, Mamma Kat!

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  5. Now, I'm fairly certainbear used to have an answerphone. Hopefully he'll rewind the message and get back to you . . . I hear there is some pretty good golfing where he's gone, hot chicks too. . . .well tasty hot chicken anyways.
    ERin

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  6. We certainly hope our living cats yammer with our Celestial cats.

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    Replies
    1. And people think Angel cats stop teaching their younger fursibs when they cross to the other side! Bear is very wise! ~Ellie Mae

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  7. We enjoyed the conversation and Shoko is wondering if she should share her conversation with Kali to mom. It is rather private and its about me....just little ole me.

    Tyebe

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Hopefully your Mom would still respect her in the morning! ~Ellie Mae

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  8. She's doing OK no matter what she says but, I know she misses Bear, as I think the whole world does.

    Merry Christmas Ellie, Latte and Mom.

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  9. I can see why Momma was sobbing at the end! But Ellie...where did you learn such language?!?!?!

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    Replies
    1. Where do you think? BEAR! He has a WHOLE LIST of bad words written down. I'm learning a lot! ~Ellie Mae

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  10. Hi Elle! I thought I was the only one who talked to out siblings who have gone OTB! THanks for sharing your conversations with Bear. I love knowing the Queen Nellie is there and I sure wished she gave me a heads up too! Sending you patience! Marv

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    Replies
    1. I hope Angel Nellie and Angel Bear find each other and are great friends!

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  11. Aww, that was really special and sweet, Ellie. And with such HBO-word gusto! Seriously, though, it sure was thoughtful of Bear to send you that kitten, who we know will be your friend someday. Hugs and love to you all.

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  12. Bear certainly taught Ellie to swear like a sailor. I hope she isn’t teaching sweet, little Latte the same bad habit. We know how much Bear is loved and missed and how hard it will be to celebrate the holidays without him. Sending big Christmas hugs from all of us and our mom and dad. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, angel Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer & Kizmet

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    Replies
    1. Bear certainly had a lot to teach me! Hahaha. Merry Christmas to you and all the Kitties Blue! ~Ellie Mae

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  13. My mum says she loves your swearing, Ellie. Says a lot about my mum I think, but she does swear a lot, believe me.

    We miss Bear xx

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha. My Momma does too ... which explains where Bear heard all these ... colorful ... words. ~Ellie Mae

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  14. AMARULA: i am not prone to sentimentality but I must admit that that conversation made me like Ellie a bit --just a little bit! Happy Holidays!

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  15. That was a very sweet conversation, Ellie. You're doing just fine, having learned everything that Bear taught you.

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    Replies
    1. Momma says I'm the sweetest cat she's ever known. That makes me happy. ~Ellie Mae

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  16. Great post. I love hearing Ellie Mae and imagining Bear’s answers.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not sure Bear was meant to get a word in edgewise!

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