Friday, July 27, 2018

Another late night #ChewyInfluencer

Due to Momma's incompetence and lack of inspiration, we didn't get a post up on Tuesday. Today's post is a little longer than usual. We hope you can forgive both of Momma's follies.

EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance


The Boy: I'm going to bed.
{Pause}
The Boy: Good night, BuddyBear. Want a few scratches?
BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS.
The Boy: Okay okay. Good night, Baby Girl. Can Daddy have last minute ...
EM: {running to hide under the cat tree} BYE!
The Boy: What in the ... ELLIE! Come out and say good night to your Daddy.
EM: NO! I'm not coming out ... EVER.

The Boy: I promise I won't hand you over to Momma for the nightly torture.
EM: That's what you said last time!
The Boy: {turning to Momma} This is all YOUR fault! I can't even say good night to my cats!
BC: Not that Momma's travesties should ever be excused ... in her defense ... I just don't like you!

The Boy: Could've fooled me ... you let me pet you in Momma's lap.
BC: That never happened.
The Boy: And when Momma was out of town, you jumped in MY lap.
BC: That never happened. No pictures. It never happened.
The Boy: How am I supposed to take a picture of myself when you're on my lap?
BC: You can't take pictures of what didn't happen.
The Boy: Fine. I'm going to bed.
MK: I love you, honey.
BC: BARF! 
{The Boy goes to bed ... }
BC: WOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ding dong the boy is dead ...
{Pause}
BC: {running one direction} WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
{Pause}
BC: {running the other direction} HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
{THUNK!!}
{CRASH!!!!!!}
BC: Ow.
MK: My lamp!
BC: It's still your lamp ... I just rearranged a few things. Be thankful it wasn't Smellie.
{Ellie jumps on the table next to where Momma's working}
MK: I thought you weren't coming out.
EM: My ears are lonely ... and you know how to rub them right so they aren't lonely.

MK: It was cold to run away from your Daddy. You couldn't just let him give you a pet or two before he went to bed?
EM: {sticking her paw in Momma's water glass} What's this?
{Pause}
EM: Oooh! There's water on my paw! Tasty! Ooh! This is better than the fountain! This is the BEST. THING. EVER.
MK: Ellie! Get your paw out of my water glass!
EM: Don't worry, Momma, I licked my paw really well after walking through your dirt pile. Yeah, I stepped in Bear's poop in the litter box ... because SOME cat can't be bothered to cover his business like a good cat ... but I made sure to lick it all off my paw!
MK: Great.
EM: If I can get a little bit ... 
{WHAP}
EM: HEY!
BC: Oops.

EM: You knocked the glass off the table on purpose!
BC: It mocked me.
EM: You were over THERE, sleeping in your bed! How'd it mock you?
BC: Do I have to explain everything to you? Just be glad you have me to protect you from stuff.
EM: You saw me drinking the water from the droplets inside and knocked it off!
BC: The least you could do is thank me! KIDS these days. No appreciation for their elders!

EM: Everyone's mean to me! Remember? Earlier? Momma threw Daddy's used sock on the ottoman where I was sleeping! I was just laying there, chillaxing like a boss!

BC: Come on ... THAT was funny. Your face screwed up like you smelled something toxic and then you ran for the hills. Or the equivalent of the hills in this house anyway. 
EM: What do you mean, "like?" The smell WAS toxic! And what was Momma doing with Daddy's yucky sock anyway?!?
BC: If there's one thing I've learned around here ... you probably don't want to know. Be thankful Momma didn't almost kill you with a sock like she did me. I was just laying there minding my own business and a sock fell from her laundry basket as she walked past ... ruffling the fur on my back!!! I almost DIED!

EM: I love my Daddy - but his sock was so smelly it almost killed me!
BC: A little dramatic, don't you think? Especially coming from a Smellie Neigh.
EM: Pot. Meet kettle!
BC: Phht. I'm not being dramatic. Try being sock-bombed!
EM: I WAS!
BC: But it didn't TOUCH you!
EM: It didn't need to ... because it was Daddy's sock! Momma's sock was clean!
BC: Speaking of ottomans ... what were you doing on my ottoman anyway? You got what you deserved.
EM: I laid up there before you ever got the idea!
BC: {jumping on the ottoman} Yes. But I'm up here LAST. Hmm ... MY ottoman. Pretty comfy.

EM: HEY! That's MINE! You're just being a jerk because you know I like it up there.
BC: Phht. Looks like it's MY ottoman now. You're just jealous because of how adorable I am up here.
EM: You better move or I'll make you!

BC: Phht. You always say you're a nice cat because you keep your claws and fangs to yourself. What are you doing to do, Smellie Belly? SIT on me?
EM: That's IT!!! 
BC: HEY! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!
EM: MROW!
BC: I said HIIISSSSS! MOMMA! Ellie's being mean to me!
EM: That's my ottoman! 
MK: You two can share.
BC: SHARE?!?
EM: Have you met us?

MK: You two look pretty adorable though.
BC: Ugh. We agree. I feel ... DIRTY. I think I need to destroy something.
EM: GOOD! Then it'll be MY ottoman.
BC: Nice try. I'm NOT moving.
EM: MROOOW!!!
BC: Hey! You said you're a nice cat!
EM: Even nice cats have their limits.
BC: FINE! Be a ... what rhymes with ITCH! Momma!!! Ellie pushed me off the ottoman. I was there first.
EM: At least I'm not a SNITCH.
BC: You women all have attitude problems!
EM: {spreading out on the ottoman} That's what I thought! Nap time. Hmph. I'M the most adorable cat in the WHOLE world ... and ESPECIALLY this house! I'm the best thing EVER!
MK: We have this month's Chewy order to review, guys!
BC: But ... I just got comfortable in my hammock!

EM: Chop chop, lazy butt. We have work to do.
BC: If you think you'll get this hammock from me, let me be the first to tell you  ... NO WAY in @#$%! hell! You've tricked me enough for all my nine lives. I'm not moving unless the food comes out.

EM: Hurry up, Momma! What'd we get from Chewy this month?!? Tunas? Toys? What did we get?!?!

BC: Phht. Tuna? Toys? You have no taste! It's probably litter! Litter is the feline equivalent of giving people socks for their birthday. What kind of cat ARE you?
EM: The NICE kind. 
BC: So you keep saying. But I heard you cursing Momma out last night as she clipped your claws.
EM: And where do you think I learned those kinds of words?! And Momma's never bleeding all of the place when I'm done.
BC: Phht. Then what's the point?
EM: Tuna and toys.
BC: A real cat isn't impressed by litter or toys. Nope. Tanks. Tiaras. Tasty whole chickens. Bazookas. That's where it's at.
EM: Are you saying your claws and fangs aren't good enough?
BC: Phht. No. I'm saying every cat could use a little help. There's no such thing as too many claws or fangs. Furry fury all the way, baby!
EM: Like you need an excuse to show furry fury.
BC: Phht. Excuse?!? I drop my furry fury whenever I feel like it.
EM: Except you love Momma.
BC: That's why I have to keep her in line. 
MK: Food?!?!
BC: Did you say ... FOOD?!?! I want some! I want some!
MK: I have to take a few pictures first.
BC: Phht. The only thing that should happen after announcing food ... is FEEDING! You don't need pictures. Just tell them we ate it all! Case closed!
{Bear walks away into the kitchen as Momma takes a few pictures}
BC: {from the kitchen counter} Get with it, woman! My gastric juices just ate up my @#$%! patience. I'm starvatating here!


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Disclosure: We received Taste of the Wild Canyon River Grain-Free Canned Cat Food (3-oz can, case of 24) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Taste of the Wild nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MK: Who wants to try Taste of the Wild trout and salmon?
BC: At this point, I'd eat my sister!
EM: Is there ever a time you wouldn't?
BC: When I can't hide the body. I mean, there are not many places I can hide your body around here because you're ... err ... value-sized. And Momma would get really upset if you disappeared. ESPECIALLY if she found you in pieces. Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind though.
EM: Phht. Like YOU could win in a fight with me.
BC: There's a reason The Boy always tells Momma that I'm trying to kill you. I am.
EM: And yet, I'm still alive. AND my Daddy thinks YOU'RE the bad guy! Hahahahaha.
BC: Yeah. Yeah. Just rub it in! At least my Momma realized the truth!
EM: Trout and salmon?
BC: Trout and salmon sounds like a nail polish color. My nails are only painted with your blood.
MK: {opening the can} Huh. The chunks might be too big for you two. And there's not a ton of gravy ... 

BC: Like "too big" and "fishy" should EVER be in the same sentence! Or "gravy" and "too much."
EM: "The fishy was not too big?"
BC: I smell fishy! 
MK: But it does look tasty ... and there are vegetables.
BC: Phht. Like YOU'D know. You LIKE vegetables! And everything I consider the good stuff  makes you want to gag - so if it looks tasty to you, I'm screwed. AGAIN.
EM: I wanna try it, Momma!
BC: I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T!!! Give me da fishy! Give me da fishy!
EM: Me too! Give me da fishy too!
BC: HEY! You're just a copy cat!
MK: {setting the plates down} Here you go.
BC: Oooh. FISHY. Let me love you, beautiful!

EM: OH! I love fishy! Fishy is the best thing EVER!

{The cats chow down}

BC: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...
EM: Nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!!!

BC: What the ...
{Pause}
BC: {jumping back} AHHHH!
MK: Bear?
BC: You think this is funny? Ha. Put a few vegetables in Bear's fishy and he'll be too stupid to notice his fishy is contaminated with ... with ... the V word! I ALMOST died!
EM: V word?
BC: I talk about almost dying and all you care about is the V word!
MK: I didn't add vegetables! It came that way! I warned you but you didn't listen to me!

BC: You do so much blah blah blahing that I just tune all of it out. Sometimes things are ... err ... lost in the fray.
MK: Chewy says, "Carrots, blueberries and raspberries offer natural antioxidant support for overall health and immunity ... and the nutrient-rich highly digestible recipe is made with prebiotic fiber and nutrients from sweet potatoes, blueberries and raspberries."
BC: Phht! That's not real food! That vegetable tried to KILL me! Sure, like Smellie, it acts all innocent ... and then when a cat has his back turned ...
EM: I don't know ... I mean it TASTES like food ...
BC: I didn't ask you, now, did I?
MK: HEY! The first ingredient is trout! And it also contains ocean fish and salmon ... plus it's grain-free and contains no corn, wheat, fillers, artificial flavors, colors or preservatives.

BC: Stupid vegetables probably scared away the corn, wheat, fillers and artificial flavors.

MK: That's a GOOD thing. You don't need to eat junk.
BC: Says the Momma who eats copious amounts of doughnuts and chocolate chip cookies!
EM: So you're saying I shouldn't eat this? It smells so good!

MK: I grant you that the fruits and vegetables part is a bit odd as cats are obligate carnivores that don't require fruits and vegetables for balanced nutrition - but it doesn't really hurt either.
BC: {sniffing the food} It DOES smell good ... it might not hurt to eat ... as long as I don't get one of those vegetables!

EM: Just do what I do and spit them out!

MK: You two just encourage and corrupt each other.

The Boy: My Ellie-girl is sweet and innocent. It's YOUR cat that's corrupted!
{The Boy walks in, unable to sleep}
EM: Daddy! Momma's making us eat vegetables!
The Boy: WHAT?!?! You're making my cats eat vegetables?
MK: I love how they're YOUR cats when the behave and MY cats when the claws and fangs come out.
EM: I don't use my claws and fangs.
BC: SUCK-UP! Shut up and eat your vegetables! Don't make me come out there.
EM: YUM!! I'm already done, jerkwad! Need some help?

BC: NO! So help me ... if you even get close to my plate, that will be your final meal!
EM: I thought you were refusing to eat it because there are vegetables in it.
BC: Phht. I have discriminating taste! I don't each just anything. You're a garbage disposal.
EM: Discriminating taste? Is that what you call licking my butt?
BC: Like it's my fault I can't tell the difference between your head and your bottom.
EM: Phht. My bottom is attached to that big bushy thing called a tail. Not that you would have any idea what that is.
BC: You are NOT insulting my tail.
EM: You don't have a tail. You have a string.
BC: That's it! I'm going to ...
{The cats chase each other back and forth across the house}
The Boy: I'm starting to get tired. I'm going to get a drink of water and then try to go to bed.
BC: HUH?!? The Boy's going in the kitchen?! HECK NO! He's going to steal the rest of my wet food!
EM: HEY! We were playing!
BC: No one messes with my food.
MK: I guess he likes it ... vegetables or not. The biggest drawback is that we had to get an entire case of the same flavor. With the demand for variation around here, it will take forever to eat the rest of the twenty-four pack - but it's a great alternative.

Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Taste of the Wild Canyon River Grain-Free Canned Cat Food (3-oz can, case of 24)? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

46 comments:

  1. Oh ever the divide between male and female of the species, but it does make for fun and games MOL. Now as to this food, I reckon maybe they should serve that old trout and salmon with their natural food as a side order, flies midges and water-born bugs and vegetation. That would be way more suitable for us obligate carnivores MOL
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

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    1. Uhhh ... BUGS?!? Err ... no thanks. We'll stick with the vegetables ;)

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  2. Oh veggies, I spit those things out too but the fishy part looks darn good!

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  3. Oh poor Ellie, having lonely ears is no fun at all. You look so lovely in your pictures! We too got Taste of the Wild. Mom figured out that if she smooshed those large chunks, we'd eat it.

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    1. We have to try that! After Ellie's ears aren't lonely anymore anyway ;)

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  4. You're so luck you get to try something new each month from Chewy! Those chunks look tasty but the Chirpies would spit out the vegetables, unless your name is Charlie! MOL

    Funny, hubby also calls them "your cats" when they misbehave and they're "his cats" when they're being sweet MOL

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    1. Men and their (sometimes) cats! Glad to know I'm not the only one with spitters!

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  5. We love Chewy and all the different foods they have. That looked pretty good, though, yeah, those chunks might be too big for some of us. More licking surface, though. And you two do look pretty adorable on the ottoman together. We know you'd like to hear that. MOL!

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    1. Hmm ... I'm not looking at HER ... but I'm staking my claim! ~Bear Cat

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  6. Glad you managed, Bear, even with those vegetables. Good thing Ellie can help you clean your plate if you leave anything behind! And btw, I don't think that glass was mocking you.

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  7. That ottoman looks like it was made for kitties. You two are so cute sitting bum-to-bum. Bear, that was a serious near miss with the sock. Your momma needs to be more careful! Ellie, I wish you could bring those lonely ears here.

    That’s fortunate that the food was so yummy!

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    1. You noticed?! A pretty fancy elevated bed ... and NO sharing with humans!

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  8. "My gastric juices just ate up my @#$%! patience. I'm starvatating here"...ROFLOL!

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    Replies
    1. Hmph. She needs to learn to fulfill my needs faster. ~Bear Cat

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  9. Glad ya'll enjoyed it. Altho' some vegetables are actually bad fur us. Mommy learned that carrots which are used in most of these cat foods are one of the hardest on a cat's system and can't actually be broken down. Mommy had to remove all trace of carrots from sis Lexi's foods so as not to tax her system when she was still alive. She still takes them outta any food we try. And, she says the peas make us gassy. Like girls can even get gassy. Hmmmpht. Anyways, great review. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Why do companies even mess with vegetables in cat food? Just to make their humans think they're being responsible?!?

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  10. AMARULA: While I enjoyed the review Bear, I still can't understand how EM is still alive after saying "I'M the most adorable cat in the WHOLE world ... and ESPECIALLY this house! I'm the best thing EVER!" How can she get away with such vile lies!!!! You and I are clearly the best things ever!

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    Replies
    1. {sigh} Like Frodo, she's just too stupid to know better. ;) ~Bear Cat

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  11. That food sounds good. Flynn would have agreed about the veggies because if he had any he always left them in a neat pile on the edge of his plate.

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  12. Mudpie would lick the gravy and spit out both the vegetables *and* chunks! She looks perfect but can be very challenging :)

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    1. My Kitty spit out chunks too. ALL OVER the kitchen. When I had her, I had no clue about torties and it turns out she was a tortie tabby!

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  13. Gravy is a big seller here. No chunks though. We have dainty mouths. mol

    Shoko

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    1. I find it interesting that all the cats (or most) in a household usually have the same preferences.

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  14. Glad you taught that glass a lesson, Bear! We have lots of glasses mocking us, too, and Rosie knocks them all down!

    We will have to try that food. Rosie has decided she won't eat any food that is pate only shredded we food now.

    P.S.: Stay tuned next week. We may or may not have a surprise AKA new foster feline brother.

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    1. Hehehehehe. They do that, don't they? Mine will eat a certain kind of pate sometimes and most (but not all) chunks. It drives me crazy to find something they'll both eat. We can't wait on the surprise ...

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  15. MOL mew guys just crack us up! It's like War of The Roses between mew two, and we love your ottoman too, Pandora and Smooch favour napping on ours. That food looked great though Fudge would just lick the sauce and leave effurything else, Amber will only eat meaties in jelly, though I know I would scoff the lot, veggies and all! MOL

    Happy Caturday guys, oh and by the way mew won Pandora's give-away of the space cat leggings - WOOO HOOO congrats!!

    Basil & The B Team xox

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    1. Mine will eat a certain kind of pate sometimes and most (but not all) chunks. It drives me crazy to find something they'll both eat.
      WOO HOO on the win!

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  16. Oh my whiskers! Thew deadly sock toss! I don't understand how we felines make it through the dangers of each day! And the smell, oh don't get me started but then, there are some felines who like stinky smells. Jasmine, miss "I'm a pretty diva" loves to roll around on top of The Male Human's Crocs. Have you ever smelled plastic shoes in the summer????? It's hard to understand what some felines are thinking!
    Purrs & Head Bonks,
    Alberto & The Tribe of Five

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    1. Sounds like my sister Smellie ... I mean, there's no accounting for good taste! ~Bear Cat

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  17. That food looks tasty, and Pixie would love to eat the vegetables and give the fish to Zorro. Purrs

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  18. Glad you liked it despite the vegetables :)

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  19. Apologies not necessary. It looked like it was worth the wait.

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  20. That's my only issue with ordering from Chewy...having to order cases. Sam often loses interest in a food long before we're through the case. We tried this food too, and she liked it....vegetables and all...for a while. :)

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    1. Yep. We're the same way. And the food they eat well right away will just be eaten less with each serving.

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  21. You guys made that food sound totally YUMMY! I would sure like it if my Mom brought some of that food home!
    Purrs
    Marv

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  22. Ooh Taste of the Wild does make some good noms. Like your momma. mine buys way too many of the same flavors of kibble and moist food, and she wonders why I get bored and turn my nose up! She ends up giving my leftovers to the D-O-G who slurps them up every time. Winks.

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    1. I don't have a dog ... but I do have a garbage disposal. Err ... I mean, sister. ~Bear Cat

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  23. Heym Ellie and Bear, this was a cool review. You both put your all into it. Chewy.com is not available in Canada so where do you guys live? I did think you lived on Vancouver Island but if you're doing Chewy reviews you aren't on the Island. Loved your review. Now you can send us some food...k?

    Shoko

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    1. We WISH we lived in Vancouver - talk about gorgeous. Nope. We live in St Louis Missouri USA :)

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