Thursday, July 12, 2018

Christmas comes early, part 2

Today's post is the second part of a two part series about the awesome presents we got from some wonderful friends. Thank you, Dezi's World! Part 1 may be read here: Christmas comes early, part 1. The fun continues with today's post.

Note to our friends ... Momma's taking a long weekend so we're posting the post we'd normally post on Friday on Thursday instead.

EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: Bear Cat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

EM: Oooh! Nip! My precious nip! We wants it ... we NEEDS it ...

MK: Technically, it's silver-vine and not ...
EM: I'll have your babies! Or you can have my babies! Purple! Stinky feet! PAR-TAY! Upside ... downside ... have you ever noticed the up and down-sides are only a matter of perspective?
MK: And she doesn't care what it is ... 
EM: This is the GOOD stuff! Come to papa!
{Pause}
EM: [SNORT!!!] [SNORGLE!] TSH TSH ... ooh!
BC: Keep it down over there! The sounds you're making are vaguely pornographic!
EM: Numnumnumnumnumnumnumnumnum ...
BC: GET A ROOM! Stupid niphead sister ... at least while she's busy with that, I get everything else to myself!
EM: This is the BEST thing in the whole wide world!
BC: You already said that!
EM: I really mean it this time! NIPNIPNIPNIPNIPNIPNIPNIP N ... I ... P ... is for NIP! Castle! Liver! Cheese! Ooooh. CHEESE! Munchies!
MK: ELLIE! You chewed through the bag! I was just trying to figure this hammock out ...
BC: My Momma ... goober enough to read the directions but too stupid to understand them.
MK: Yes. Thanks for that. Ellie! Give me the bag!
EM: But ... but ... you took my card ... then my nip ... what am I supposed to play w ... {gasp} SPARKLE BALLS!
BC: She's about ten minutes too slow.
EM: This is the BEST DAY EVER! I don't have any sparkle balls!
BC: Because you lost the other ten in places Momma can't even find. And the ones you lost were MY balls!
EM: Don't be ridiculous. No one could find your balls before. That's why Momma thought you were a girl kitty.
BC: That's NOT ... OOOOH! You're going to pay! I'm just so ... my masculinity is loud and proud.
EM: So is your princess.
BC: MALE princess! Who asked you? 
EM: Whatever, your heinie-ness. Get it? "Highness" "Heinie-ness?" Hahahahaha.
BC: You're just jealous because your head isn't big enough to fit the tiara.
EM: And your head is too big!
BC: That sounded better in my head. You know, humans talk about following in someone's footsteps ... so I thought ...
EM: I don't care! I don't want to follow!
MK: Can you two keep it down? I'm trying to get this hammock up!
BC: Keep it down?!? I'm putting SOME-SISTER in her place here!
EM: On a throne?
BC: You want a piece of this?

EM: A piece. One of your pieces could sit on me and I'd be flat.
BC: Phht. A BARN could sit on you and you'd still be fat ... not flat!
EM: Take that back!
BC: Or you'll sit on ... hmm ... Hi there, beautiful! You're my kind of woman! You smell heavenly! Even covered in Smellie slobber!
EM: HEY! That's MINE!
BC: Phht. Welcome to MY life. Having to share everything with a stupid sister!
EM: Don't talk about yourself that way! As delicate as you are, you're not really my sister.
BC: Huh?
EM: Give me ...
BC: HEY! Stop SLOBBERING over my stuff!
EM: OUR stuff! SCORE! LOOK! I got one of the silvervine buds out of the bag.
BC: Sheesh. I thought your ability to chew things out was limited to yelling at the rest of us! 
EM: MINE!
BC: Momma said SHARE! If I have to share with you, you have to share with me!
EM: WHATEVER. MINE!!!
BC: HEY!
EM: You only use the word SHARE when someone has something you want!
BC: OBVIOUSLY.
EM: BOYS!
BC: HEY! Give that back!
EM: Over my dead body...
BC: It would be my pleasure to arrange.
EM: The only kind of "arranging" I'm for ... is of your face.
BC: HA! I got it away from you!
EM: Momma! Momma! Bear hit me on the head and stole my silvervine bud! I did all the work to get it out of the plastic bag! 
{Pause as Ellie bats the bud out of Bear's paws}
EM: HA! Now who's crying in his catnip?
BC: WOMEN! Shows what you know! That's silvervine!
EM: I have the silvervine. All you have left to cry in is boring catnip!
BC: Blasphemy! Boring? Nip?
EM: I've got you now! Oh, the unspeakable things I'll do to you!
MK: @*&!!!
EM: {looking up} What'd Bear do now?
BC: Why do you think it's always ME she's cursing at? She only does that after she clips my claws!
MK: I can't get this hammock up! It's taken me over an hour to get three supports of the hammock up. The last one ...
BC: As I said before ... "My Momma ... goober enough to read the directions but too stupid to understand them."
MK: So much for help!
BC: Phht. The kind of help you need ... we can't provide.
{Pause}
EM: Hmmmm ... NICE.
MK: BEAR! Stop killing the couch! It didn't do anything to you!
BC: It didn't give me tasty whole chickens!
MK: This is EXACTLY why you don't get catnip! You start beating things up and getting obnoxious.
EM: START beating things up? GETTING obnoxious? Those are his normal modes even before catnip! It's not the CATNIP's fault!
BC: Why don't you shut it or you'll be next?
MK: Bear, stop threatening your sister!
BC: She started it!
MK: I don't care ...
BC: I'm seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexy. No one is as sexy as me. On the catwalk, yeah ... on the catwalk. I shake my hot little tail on the catwalk.
EM: I just threw up in my new hammock. GET A ROOM! And you accuse ME of sounding pornographic!
MK: Bear! I'm in the middle of something!
EM: Momma! Bear's pointing at me with ... with ...
MK: BEAR! Put that away!
BC: Admire me, Momma! Tell me how handsome my stripe-y pants are!
MK: Oh, for the LOVE ...
EM: She can't do that because they're not handsome ... your butt is just big.
MK: ELLIE! 
{Pause as Momma turns back around to the project at hand}
MK: ELLIE! Hey! Get off the hammock! That's not done yet! I turn my back for FIVE SECONDS and you move in on the hammock I'm working on!
EM: You said you need help! I'm going to just sit here and you know, weigh it down so you can get the last strap up.
{Pause}
EM: I'm just testing it, Momma. Pretty comfy!
MK: It's not done yet!
EM: I like it like this!
MK: Please get off it, so I can finish it?!
BC: Momma! It's not fair! Ellie gets to lay on the hammock and I don't!
{Momma mumbles to herself}
MK: I swear ... just want to finish ... OOH! SPARKLE BALLS!
{Momma opens the package of sparkle balls and takes two out for Ellie}
EM: WHERE?!?!
MK: Get off the hammock and you can play with these.
EM: YAY!
{Pause}
BC: Finally! MY turn!
MK: Don't even think about it, Bear.
EM: Hmm ... Hammock ... sparkle ball ... hammock ... sparkle ball ...
{Pause}
EM: SPARKLE BALL ALL THE WAY, BABY!
{Pause}
EM: I'll get you my pretty ... and your little sparkles too.
{Ellies scrambles after the sparkle ball}
EM: How you doin'? BOO-YAH! Take THAT!
{WHACK!}
EM: Awww ... MOMMA! I lost my sparkle ball under the couch!
BC: It's a record!
MK: Not even close. Last time we had sparkle balls she lost one of them after batting it once. 
EM: Momma! Momma! It's a sparkle ball emergency! My sparkle ball needs attention!
BC: Sparkle ball emergency! Phht. Indeed. I'm having an idiot emergency.
EM: What's your emergency, idiot?
BC: NO! I'm SURROUNDED by idiots! THAT'S an emergency!
{Pause}
BC: On second thought ... just another day in the Momma Kat household.
EM: MOMMA! I want my sparkle ball! Bear, you're jealous you don't have any balls ... sparkle or other.
BC: STOP SAYING THAT! My masculinity speaks for itself.
EM: No. That's gas.
BC: Leave my digestive issues out of this!
EM: I want my sparkle ball!
MK: That's why I got out two. Play with the other one!
EM: But I don't want to play with the yellow one. I want to play with the BLUE one.
MK: They're the same!
BC: Phht. Even I know better!
{Pause as Ellie frantically tries to rescue the sparkle ball}
MK: Okay okay. Here.
EM: YAY! Slippery sucker! I'm keeping my eye on you! You're MINE!
BC: We're SHARING, remember? There's no MINE in SHARING!
EM: {ignoring Bear} GOTCHA! What'd I tell you?
{Pause}
EM: I'm tired!!! Those sparkle balls are rascally! Time for a nap. Is my hammock ready? 
BC: HEY! You said we had to share! It's MY turn! 
EM: This is nice! 
BC: HEY! It's MY turn!
EM: I don't think so. Now if you'll keep it down, I can take a nap. 
BC: HEY!!! MOMMA! MOMMA!
{Pause}
BC: {jumping on the bed} Aww. Hell. I don't have the energy left for this. Mark my words ... I WILL get my turn! Tsh tsh tsh. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ... torties ... tanks ... tasty whole chickens ... hubba hubba ...
{Bear starts snoring}
MK: And I'm left cleaning up after the storm blows through! At least they're cute. 
{A couple hours pass ... Bear moseys out and sees the hammock unoccupied}
BC: FINALLY!
{Bear looks both ways and then behind his back ... }
BC: Yep. MINE. ALL mine! Oh, the things I'll do to you ...
{Pause}
BC: Huh. Smells a lot like Smellie slobber. Gross. 
{Silence}
BC: Huh. Maybe she's not listening ... time to Bear-ify MY cat hammock and permi-fy my butt imprint! From now on, she'll KNOW it's mine!
MK: I can't hear "cat hammock" without thinking of the meaning of "banana hammock."
BC: Bananas get hammocks?!? That's a travesty! I went without for YEARS and some stupid banana has its own? That's just fruity. Hahahahaha. 
{Pause}
BC: She sure stretched the thing out ... fat sisters ... the gifts that keep on giving and ruin EVERYTHING! Hmmmm ...
{Pause}
BC: Just what I've always wanted! This is nice. Even if it DOES smell like Smellie. And I KNOW I'm adorable. Well, at least more adorable than my barn ... err ... sister.
EM: I heard that!
BC: Oops.
{Pause}
BC: Hmmm ... comfortable ... sleep ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
{Rude awakening courtesy of his sister ... in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... }

Thank you, Dezi, Raena, and Mom Audra! We love your thoughtful (and priorly much desired) gifts!

43 comments:

  1. What you need is another hammock, or a very large one you can all use together as a family! Probably need an extra big chair, or table, from which to suspend it....
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phht. My sister needs one the size of a pool cover! ~Bear Cat

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  2. Fun goodies are just the best and you two sure got them!

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  3. EM, your love for the vine and nip is.... Very real. And both of you look very comfy in that hammock.

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    Replies
    1. They call me a Niphead! Phht. I just have taste! ~Ellie Mae

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  4. Some serious craziness going on in your house, Bear and Ellie Mae!

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  5. MOL you two are a hoot!

    The Florida Furkids

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  6. You two are the best. We love reading about all the fun and crazy times you are always having. The hammock looks really comfortable. It's going to be a lot of great cat naps in there. Thanks for the share. Have a great day.
    World of Animals

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    Replies
    1. We love to hear that! Thank you! Bringing happiness to others' days is why we do this!

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    2. Thank you for the reply. Keep up the great work of bringing happiness to others thru your posts. Have a good weekend.

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  7. Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee! (rolling on the floor) That was some Christmas in July you had with all those cool purr-esents! Anything from Dezi and Raena is golden. Ellie, I guess Bear's gonna be calling you a 'vinehead' before long, but he'll never find his balls. When I think about it... I guess I'll never find mind either - oh! Tee hee hee. Kisses.

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    Replies
    1. Some guy kitty are cute enough that they don't need them - like you, V. My brother is not one of them! ~Ellie Mae

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  8. guyz....tht hammick doez rock...total lee...N itz a grate place ta chillax afturr
    gettin buzzed on "herb" ;) ♥♥ happee long week oh end two yur mom ~~~ ♥♥

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  9. Uh oh...all that nip and silvervine. We see an intervention in both of your futures.

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  10. Aaaaaaaaaaaaw We're so glad ya'll like the goodies. And we're so glad that after all this time somekitty can enjoy that pawsu hammock. We never even took it outta the box, once mommy saw ya' had to have a chair to use it. But hey, we got a really cool hammock cot from blogpaws so it's only right that we share somethin' with another kitty. Those silvervine buds are the bestest. Sometimes, mommy gratees a little and puts it over our food or on a scratcher or toy. We just can't get enuff. Have a good nap and then play some more. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, again! We wanted sparkle balls and a hammock ... and we love the silvervine too! We're in heaven!

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  11. AMARULA: Oh Bear! You are so right when you say "my masculinity is loud and proud" I can hear it all the way in Canada!

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  12. Did you win something? Bear, I can't ever figure out what's going on. If you did, big concats. Silvervine is the best.

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    Replies
    1. No. Momma did a favor for Audra at the BlogPaws Conference and these were thank you gifts :)

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  13. These are really awesome gifts! I also really enjoyed all these pictures. I know you hate to hear it, but you two are so cute together! Ellie, your enthusiasm over everything is so sweet.

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    Replies
    1. Ellie is beyond sweet ... like I imagine your Annie is :)

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  14. My precious!! LOL! Spoiled kitties!

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  15. Wow, Ellie is quite the nip head. Quite the cute nip head, of course. Hope Momma Kat is having a nice long weekend!

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  16. "No one could find your balls before. That's why Momma thought you were a girl kitty." Ooh...that was BAD, Ellie Mae!!! MOL You kitties scored :)

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    Replies
    1. SEE?!?! My sister's horrible!!! Can I move in with you, Mudpie?

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  17. What pawsome gifts yous got! Especially now that you got some glitter balls...will they replace the others?
    Sorry I digress, the hammock is terrific!
    Purrs
    Marv

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    Replies
    1. Miss Ellie's already lost half of them - to be found NO WHERE.

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  18. What cool pressies. Every body needs some sparkle in their life and checking out things from a hammock...what could be better?

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  19. You are both lucky kitties. Jinx loves the sparkly balls too.

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  20. You guys made a haul! We told The Female Human we want to try that silver vine stuff, looks like Bear and Ellie Mae were getting a nice buzz! Although Tucker is a "mean drunk" and we try to keep his nip consumption to a minimum.
    Purrs & Head Bonks,
    Alberto & The Tribe of Five

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  21. You struck gold there!! Woo Hoo
    Hugs madi and mom

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