Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Adventures, misadventures and other stories, Part 2 #ChewyInfluencer

Part 1 {the prequel to this post} may be found here: Adventures, misadventures and other stories, Part 1 #ChewyInfluencer.

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat
The Boy: Momma's fiance

EM: Meow me'w 'ow MEEEEEEOW!
BC: Oh, will you just SHUT UP for the first time in your life? I'm tired of listening to you complaining about EVERYTHING!
EM: Me'w MEOW mew 'row!
BC: No. I don't think they left us permanently. Or were abducted by aliens. I mean, REALLY ... what use would aliens have for them?
EM: Me'w 'ow 'row me'w 'ow!
BC: Remember? Momma told us she was going out of town? I swear. I thought she was leaving us with The Boy again! I was ready to demand hazard pay!
EM: Mew 'row me'w 'ow.
BC: How should I know? He was already gone! I guess he and Momma were meeting after he took care of some business. We can only hope he won't be back.
EM: M'ROW.
BC: What happened between you two? If you're not his cat, he'll expect me to fill in. No thanks! I mean what's the point of having a sister if she doesn't share the catting/people management duties?
EM: Me'w 'ow 'row me'w 'ow!
BC: You're right! The Boy, formerly known as Daddy, LEFT US.
EM: M'ow mew.
BC: Oh, will you just SHUT UP? I know it doesn't make sense. I don't want The Boy to come back but I don't want him leaving ME! Who's going to feed us? And why didn't they take you with?
EM: M'row mew m'ow.
BC: STOP YELLING AT ME! I didn't do anything! Just when I thought you couldn't get more annoying ... but your yelling is even worse when it's directed at me.

EM: Me'w 'ow 'ow!
BC: I know! We didn't finish the Chewy reviews yet for September!
EM: Mew me'oww m'ow.
BC: Yeah. It was a last minute decision for them to take a vacation. Momma was so excited I thought we might have to tie her down. Momma said she wasn't going to do any work on vacation! HA!
EM: Meow meow mer-ow.
BC: I know. Nothing is more fun than turning one's nose up at new food the humans are excited to watch us try. And we've only tried one of the items we get to review! As long as the other one isn't litter ...
EM: Meow.
BC: You're right. I could pack you up in a box and send you elsewhere before Momma even knew what happened. I sunk that skunk! Oops.
EM: Mew m'ow m'row!
BC: Yes, you did! You said you wanted to be sent to Momma ... I was just offering one solution. 
EM: M'ow mrow MROW!
BC: You're not so great to live with either!
EM: Meow mew me-ow!!!
BC: STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND AND HECKLING ME! I swear! I'm gonna open a ginormous can of whoop-ass on your ...
{The front door opens and Ellie runs off}
BC: Phht. She's got even bigger pants than I do ... 
{Pause}
BC: Hahahahahahaha. Yep. DEFINITELY bigger pants. And not just size-wise.
EM: {from the other room} SHUT UP, Stupid!
BC: Don't worry! I'll take care of ...
EM: {from the other room} That's supposed to make me feel better? Having YOU as my defense is like having a goldfish as a watch dog ... err ... fish.
BC: WHOOOOOOOOOOOA.
EM: {from the other room} What?
BC: Nothing.
EM: {walking in} What's going ....
{Pause}
EM: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA.
BC: Dinner is HERE. The one on the left is mine.
EM: But that's the bigger one!
BC: I'm older and I saw them first!
EM: But I'm the bigger cat! And my pants are bigger than your pants! You said ...

BC: There are so many things I could say to that ...
{Pause}
BC: What are you lobsters looking at? Our food bowls are back there!
EM: You're not being a good host! Maybe we could offer them a drink or something? Listen to them tell us how they feel about being our food?
BC: You don't make FRIENDS with one's food. Why don't you just suggest we braid their hair?
EM: They have hair?
BC: Are you that stupid? NO! They DON'T ...
MK: HI! It's us!!
BC: WHO? I've never met a lobster in my life. I don't take crap from anyone ... especially a crustacean. Let me show you who's boss! Want to know what Bear Cat does to crustaceans?
EM: Run from them? Wouldn't they fit under the bed?
BC: You're NOT helping!
EM: Now you know what it feels like!
BC: What what feels like?
MK: Ummm ... guys?
BC:  I suppose you're going to tell me you're a long lost brother or something and expect me to share my wealth.
EM: You don't have any wealth!
BC: SHHHH! They don't know that!
EM: Look closer ...
BC: Will you just shut it while I deal with this? I hate when your food is all uppity and starts a fight ... but I have no problem showing them a thing or two.
EM: Ummm ... 
BC: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: BEAR!
BC: This one knows my name!
MK: Momma?
BC: Where?!? How long has she been watching? Because I don't think she'd be very happy about what I did earlier today ...
MK: WHAT?! What did you do?
BC: Oh, sure. I'm going to let a lobster blackmail me!
EM: Black mail? I don't think I've ever seen black mail. I mean, isn't it mostly white?
BC: S-T-U-P-I-D {THUNK}. S-T-U-P-I-D {THUNK}. S-T-U-P-I-D {THUNK}.
EM: Why are you banging your head against the wall?
BC: Because it's fun!
EM: I'll have to try it! {THUNK} {THUNK} I don't really see how this is fun!
BC: Oh, for the love! Hit it harder! Hit it harder!
MK: Give me some cuddles!
BC: I'm a cuddly boy but I draw the line at cuddling with my food. If Momma were here ... I'd cuddle with her ... after a proper time frame of ignoring her and pretending I didn't notice she was gone ...

MK: Come on, Bear!
BC: Don't get uppity with me! She left us alone. You would not believe what that horrible Momma did! She left me and Smellie here. If Yellie Smellie doesn't shut up soon, they're going to find a remodeled Yellie when they get home. And if she tries to sit in my lap ONE MORE TIME ... Not to mention that I don't want to chase her, braid each others' fur, get facials, or use a scratcher. What is wrong with that girl?
EM: But ...
MK: Bear-ka-sprinkles!
BC: HUH?! How do you know my nickname!? Only my MOMMA calls me that! And you're a little too ... red ... and a bit fatter than ...
EM: BEAR!
BC: What? I'm not used to socializing with my lunch. But this one is just freaky! How does she know what Momma calls me?
MK: Because I AM your Momma!
BC: What happened to you?
MK: I got ...
BC: Were you abducted by aliens and made one of them? Because that would explain a lot. Maybe a  spell by some witch you ticked off? How do I know you're not someone PRETENDING to be my Momma?
EM: Bear ...
BC: THAT'S IT! You lobsters think that if you can convince me you're really The Boy and Momma that I won't eat you! Let me tell you ...
The Boy: Hi, BuddyBear!
BC: RATS! And I thought I'd be having a lobster dinner.
EM: SEE?!? That's what I've been trying to tell you!
BC: {turning to Ellie} YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME!
EM: You told me to shut up!
BC: How is it that the only times you listen to me tell you to shut up are when you know something I should know? Usually you won't shut up!
EM: Chase me, Daddy! Chase me!
BC: Oh, for the love! While you were gone, she kept telling me to chase her. When she gets all flirty like that count me out! Would it be time for FOOOOOOD perhaps?
EM: Did you say .... FOOD?!?

BC: Can't get that word by that one. She'll drop anything for it.
EM: VERY FUNNY!
MK: Treats?
EM: SEE?!? They DID bring us someth ...
BC: Don't take treats from lobsters acting like Mommas.
EM: What?!
BC: But then again, in your case ... candy from strangers might fix the majority of my problems ...
MK: Come on ...
{Ellie looks at Bear}
EM: Are you sure it's safe?
BC: As safe as anything involved with Momma can be. You can trust me. I wouldn't let anything bad happen  ...
{Pause}
BC: RATS! I can't even get that out with a straight face!
EM: Like you have a straight face!
BC: Shut up! Momma, when you said you were going to the ocean for vacation, I didn't know you intended to come home a lobster.
MK: I'm SUN-BURNED!
BC: AHHHHHH! You're flaking off! You're flaking off! There went like half of your doughnut butt. Before we know it, there won't be anything left! Momma cooties! Momma cooties! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{Pause}
BC: Then we'll be left with The Boy! Nightmare! Total nightmare! Hold yourself together, Momma! Hold yourself together! I'll call one one nine!
{Pause}
BC: Err ... one nine one?
EM: B ...
BC: SHUT UP! It will come to me!
{Pause}
BC: NINE ONE ONE!
MK: Bear, I'm sunburned. I'll be flaking for a little while.
BC: So you finally admit it!
MK: No. I meant because of my sunburn. And you two have to be really careful around my arms and shoulders - I have blisters. It's a pretty bad burn and it really hurts. If you go all kung fu on my back, prepare to fly.
BC: COOL! Me first! Me first!
MK: How about we try the tuna and shrimp! Our second item of the month to review from Chewy.

EM: WHERE?!

BC: In the food, stupid! Though doesn't that break some kind of sea code? I mean, it seems wrong that lobster would serve his relations?!
{Pause as Bear looks at Ellie}
BC: Ah. On second thought ...
EM: Ah, on second thought WHAT?
BC: Nothing. 

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Disclosure: We received Wellness CORE Simply Shreds Grain-Free Tuna & Shrimp Wet Cat Food Topper [1.75-oz, case of 12] - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Wellness nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer

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MK: This is the good stuff, guys!

BC: When she says that ... we know we're screwed.
MK: Wellness Core Simply Shreds Tuna and Shrimp doesn't use grains, meat by-products, wheat, corn, soy, artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. 
BC: Blah blah blah. One thing I DIDN'T miss about Momma being gone on vacation? All the jabber. She could talk for hours about nothing! Err ... I mean she could talk for hours about nothing I CARE about. Then again, Smellie fills up all the empty space ... so I'll NEVER get peace and quiet.
MK: No, really! LOOK at the chunks!

BC: I really hate when you tell us to look at something you have on the counter. If I jump on the counter, I'd get in trouble! I'm down here! I can't see anything!
MK: Just a minute ...
BC: There better NOT be vegetables.
MK: Nope. No vegetables.
BC: They're not there secretly, are they? You've tried to trick us before.
EM: Speak for yourself. I LIKE vegetables.
BC: I remember a bunch of spit out carrots a few months ago.
EM: I was framed!
MK: Simply Shreds contains four simple ingredients - tuna, shrimp, fish broth, and water for pure protein and hydration. Important note: Simply Shreds is classified as a topper - best used to top dry food or wet food, feed as a side dish or as a high-protein snack.
BC: Taste is what matters. Take my temperature if I care about anything else.

MK: There isn't really a GRAVY so to speak ... but you two like broth too. The pouches are overfilled and I'm not sure you can open one without the broth and water spilling all over the place. CRAP!
BC: Don't cry over spilled fish broth, Momma. No ... no ... on second thought ... CRY!
MK: ALL OVER THE PLACE! 
BC: {AHEM}.
MK: Here you go, guys.
BC: What is THIS?!? No! No! Don't tell me! It ain't gonna happen.
MK: Look at how tasty that meat looks!
BC: If it's as good as you're telling me, you eat it! Go ahead. I'll try it if you do.

EM: Yum! Tuna should be its own food group!
BC: Kiss up!
EM: More for me. Tuna is always the answer.

MK: Come on, Bear! This is good, healthy food! You prefer junk foods to this good stuff.
BC: And you don't? Umm ... doughnuts? Chocolate chip cookies? Fried ANYTHING? Your latest Frosty habit? And soda soda soda to the Nth power?
MK: I see your point. {sigh} Anyway. As I've said before, Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Wellness CORE Simply Shreds Grain-Free Tuna & Shrimp Wet Cat Food Topper [1.75-oz, case of 12]? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

43 comments:

  1. HA! Tuna does have lots of yum but we're pretty messy with the shreds here!

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  2. That Chewy food is the best that is what we get too. Great review. You all have a great day and try to get along.

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  3. Welcome back to the peeps! Hopefully they aren't really very intelligent lobsters in disguise.

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    1. The lobster disguise that she and I wear, hurts! Well, at this point, it itches more than hurts.

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    2. If I never see another tuft of dead skin, it will be TOO SOON!!!

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  4. Thanks for sharing your review of the delicious looking food. We are going to have to try this out for our little ones here. They always go crazy for tuna here. Hope you are doing well. Have a great rest of your week.
    World of Animals

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    1. Who doesn't love tuna?! It's usually a guaranteed hit around here!

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  5. On my high school senior trip, we went to Nassau, Bahamas. In February. From Michigan. I got so sunburned, even a cool shower hurt like it was fire! As I left my seat after the plane arrived home, my flaked skin was all over the place! Gross!

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    1. Yes. If I never see another tuft of dead skin, it will be TOO SOON!!! Talk about painful. Half my upper body is raw!

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  6. Oh, how I wish Mudpie would dig into food like that...but the gravy would be gobbled up and the shreds left behind :(

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    1. Hahahaha. Kitty was like that. She spit out the chunks all over the floor!

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  7. Being served a seafood dinner by lobsters sounds like fun! I wonder if that would get Sam to eat it? She likes gravy but she wouldn't go for big pieces of meat like that. She's missing out, right?
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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    1. Ellie goes for the liquid first and then the chunks ... IF she feels like it. Not nearly as bad as Kitty who used to SPIT OUT the chunks ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!

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  8. Funny how tasty food manages to heal all manner of slights. 😉

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  9. haha A very well done review. Got me interested and we can't get this stuff in Canada.

    Jean

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  10. What is it with humans holidays and getting sunburnt? Pay good cat food money to lay about in sunpuddles and then get burnt and suffer for it at home. But then again, if there was a holiday destination where they came back as mice or chickens rather than burnt lobster, then I'd pay to see that. In fact I'd go myself... purely in a professional capacity of course!
    Purrs
    ERin

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  11. Those shreds look very tasty, and if you don't hurry up and eat yours, Bear, Ellie May would love to help you out.
    I hope the lobsters soon recover!

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    1. She'll eat it ALL! I don't know where that girl puts it! ~Bear Cat

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  12. That was quite an adventure you two had! And your prey turning out to be your momma! They DSOI look bad when they get sunburned. Take us...we KNOW to back out of a sunpuddle when it gets too hot. They could stand to learn a lesson from us. I simply move backward with my front elbows! How 'bout I send your MK a diagram on howta?

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    1. Sunpuddle too warm?! Is that like too much tuna? ~Bear Cat

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  13. guyz....next time mom N dad take off...wave de green flag sew we noe itz partee
    central at yur place !!!!! and noe joke.....tell yur mom ta get 100 purrcent pure
    coconut oil; her kneadz veree little but it will help de lobsterz skin....trooth !!!
    ☺☺♥♥

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    1. Come over any time! We make our own party! We almost feel bad for the humans. ALMOST. ~Bear Cat

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  14. Hope your momma had a nice time on vacation...not doing any work! (That’s the best kind of vacation.) Ellie, Olive would agree with you. Tuna should be its own food group!

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    1. Can I be part of Olive's exclusive clique now?!? A real live tortie ... with real live tortitude! ~Ellie Mae

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  15. Those shreds look yummy ! We're sure Ellie Mae will gladly help you finish your plate, Bear. Purrs

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    1. She'll eat it ALL! I don't know where that girl puts it! ~Bear Cat

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  16. Did they go on vacation to get sunburned? That's what popped into our minds when our Mom read that part to us. Oh, and lobsters. We'll have those on the brain for maybe a whole day now!

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  17. The least they could have done is brought you some tasty whole chickens :)

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  18. We'll be honest. The lady has fed us food with that texture and we both snub it. Not this brand, so maybe we'd like this one. We sure got a kick out of MK and the Boy looking like lobsters. Yum...lobster

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  19. Oh awnty Kat, sorry you got all burned up. You should'a said somethin'. Mommy got 3rd degree sunburns when she lived in Ca. and couldn't affurd to go to the hospital You need to cover yourself in shavin' cream, any kind, doesn't matter. let it dry and cover again, till it draws out all the heat. You won't blister or flake afterwards. Mommy bein' a redhead knows how mean the sun can be and ifin she wanted a tan she had to burn. MOL We didn't like the food either Bear. Glad Ellie did. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Yep. That's my skin too. I'm not a redhead, but my undertones are!

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  20. I hope you had a good vacation aside from the sunburn. My mom got a real bad sunburn when she was in Hawaii several years ago, but she found that rubbing aloe vera gel on the burns soothed them and helped them heal. She burns easily, 'cause she is normally very pale. I think she's a vampire. Momma Kat, maybe you're one, too?!

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    1. That explains it! Momma was so sunburned she had huge blisters! No thanks! ~Bear Cat

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