Friday, November 2, 2018

We review a cat trapeze ... WHAT?!?

BC: Bear Cat
EM: Ellie Mae
MK: Momma Kat

BC: {GASP} AHA!
EM: What?!
BC: Happy Halloween!
EM: {looking around} Err ...who? ME? 
BC: Yes, YOU! Talk about scary.
EM: Is this some kind of Halloween trick or do you have tuna treats?
BC: I would never trick ...
{Pause}
BC: I can't even get that out with a straight face! I just saw you in your costume and I felt like wishing my favorite sister Happy Halloween!!!
EM: Aren't I your ONLY sister? I'm not falling for that again. Last time you told me I was your favorite sister I hugged you and then you barfed all over my scratcher. 
BC: Happy Halloween!
EM: Wasn't Halloween a couple days ago?
BC: Well, I saw you still wearing a costume ...
EM: I'm not wearing a costume!
BC: What are you dressed as? It's definitely spine-tingling.
EM: I'm a black cat!
BC: So you're not dressed as a tank?
EM: No! Wait a ...
BC: Bus?
EM: HEY!
BC: Rhino?
EM: STOP! I'm not wearing a costume.
BC: You fooled me! So you're not dressed as an airplane hanger?
EM: Take that back!
BC: It's okay. Not everyone can wear stripes like I do. I wear them proud.
EM: Yeah, well, those stripes make your butt look big.
BC: I'd rather my butt LOOK big versus YOUR butt that IS big.
EM: All this was just to insult me?
BC: Well, not JUST ... I mean ...
EM: You're dressed as a prisoner! 
BC: What can I say? I'm a bad BAD boy and I should be straightened out by a trio of torties. 
EM: All those STUPID stripes!
BC: HEY! Not everyone can be Momma's handsome stripe-y pants!
EM: Right.
BC: You might just earn your stripes.
EM: EARN my stripes? Weren't you born with them?

BC: Of course not! Only the best black cats earn their stripes.
EM: Then why have you gone on and on about how insulting it is that Momma adopted me, a black cat, when that's all you want to be?
BC: Phht. A black cat. Boooooor-RING!
EM: I HEARD YOU!
BC: You've been in the catnip again.
EM: How does a black cat earn its stripes?
BC: Not eating kibble. Leaving a sibling alone. Running outside into traffic ...
EM: But I LIKE food! And I like you! And traffic? Well ... no thanks.
{Pause}
EM: Wait a ... all those things benefit you!
BC: Do you want to earn your stripes or not?
EM: Well, yeah. I guess.
BC: Then listen to me!
EM: But what you're saying doesn't make any sense!
BC: Then you're not listening to me or you're too stupid to make sense of it.
EM: Wait a ... I have a couple white furs on my paw! I'm getting stripes!
BC: {sigh} You had those patches of like five or so white furs when you came to live here.
EM: NO! I didn't! I'm earning my stripes! I know it!
MK: What are you two up to?
EM: Bear's telling me how to earn my stripes!
MK: Ummm ...
EM: So it's true! I knew it!

BC: She wants to have handsome stripe-y pants like me!
MK: Umm ... Ellie, that's not how it works.
EM: But Bear said ...
BC: Get some fur dye ... add stripes. NO! White paint! And a long stripe down your back!
EM: A stripe down my back? Like a landing strip?
MK: That's not really EARNING them though.
EM: That sounds fun! Come on, Momma! Give me a white stripe down my back!
BC: Now you know how things really work.
EM: You said nothing about dye! You said the way to earn my stripes included not eating kibble, leaving my sibling alone, and running outside into traffic.
MK: BEAR!
BC: You forgot about letting me have your wet food.
MK: BEAR!
EM: But ... but ... I need food! I'm not really sure about running outside into traffic ... I mean, I've been abandoned outside and that really was not fun. And then I had worms for a long time!
BC: And Momma said you weren't a dirty street rat.
MK: BEAR! The worms weren't her fault.
BC: Oh, sure. Blame it on the party who can't say anything. This from the cat that's on a first name basis with her butt worms.
EM: Well, they are up my butt ... it seems like maybe there's a bit of intimacy that's required.
BC: Intimacy?! With WORMS? No wonder they stuck around.
EM: They're my friends!
MK: Okay, you two. That's enough. You clearly are bored so let's do a review.
EM: Let's see. He's cantankerous, stupid, moody, surly ...
BC: Not me, you nitwit!

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Disclosure: We received a Katzy Pet Cat Bed (and included scratcher) - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - Katzy is not responsible for the contents of this post.

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EM: I'm not entirely sure what this is ... but can I try it? PLEASE?! Me first?!
BC: This is not something for a delicate soul of gentle disposition. If anycat is going to try this thing, it's me!
EM: ME?!?! DELICATE?! I'm the sparkle ball slayer! I can't decide if I should be mad at you or thank you!
BC: No ... no. You're right. You're built like a brick.
EM: That was quick. So now I'm just mad at you!
BC: I'm just telling you the truth! It's not my fault you're sensitive!
EM: Oh, shut up! You wouldn't know the truth if it crawled up your butt and died.
BC: Please tell me this isn't something you have to put together. We'll be at this all night and you know I have a rigorous napping schedule.
MK: Yes. I have to put it together.
BC: This is gonna take FOREVER.
EM: Don't worry, Momma. I'll help.
BC: Like you're "helping" right now standing in front of that which Momma is trying to photograph? Can you say amateur hour? 
EM: Oops. I was just excited!
MK: Before we even bother to put this up, there are a few things that bother me about this bed. First, there are no detailed instructions. The stuff is just in the box and there's no indication what goes where. Even more concerning in that my brother couldn't figure out how to use the hook they provide. He's a handyman - spent summers assisting - so if he can't figure it out, something's wrong. I e-mailed Katzy about how to use the hook, and they said to search for "How to Install Sleeve Anchors." We did that, but we still couldn't figure out how the hook works. As much as I hate giving negative feedback, the lack of instructions for the hook was a big problem for me. I was really disappointed that they didn't include even basic instructions - much less detailed. I asked a ton of questions by e-mail but never got a response - so I contacted them through Amazon - they were very friendly and responsive there. Based on their answers to my questions, the drill bit required to install the hook is size 12 - that's a pretty big drill bit. My brother has all kinds of hobbies - but even he didn't have a drill bit big enough. So we went to Home Depot and got a hook for dummies. The hook we used cost less than $10 at Home Depot - and this hook didn't require a drill!




BC: Don't mind if I check to make sure everything's on the up and up before you get started. Don't worry, Momma. I've got this under control.
EM: What am I? Chopped liver? I'm already checking to make sure it's safe for Momma!

BC: If a cat wants something done right ... he must do it himself. Besides, you're about as scary as a cream puff.
{Pause}
BC: Hmmm ... this looks fun.
EM: What does it do?
BC: Stop asking so many questions! I can't explain everything to you!
EM: I only asked one question! You don't know, do you?
BC: Not really.
MK: Let's take everything out of the box. Two pillows, the fabric part, the hook, and the rope Bear found earlier ...
EM: I like this scratcher. 
MK: That came as an addition to what we're reviewing.
EM: The scratcher is mine.
BC: Now wait a minute ...
EM: What do you care? You use the couch. I'm a good cat.
BC: No. You're a kiss up. There's a difference.
MK: That came free with the cat bed.
EM: In our review, make sure to say that this is the best thing ever.
MK: Again, that's the scratcher that came WITH the cat bed we're reviewing.
EM: This is my scratcher. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My scratcher is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my scratcher is useless. Without my scratcher, I am useless.
BC: You finally said something I can agree with. You're useless.
EM: I must scratch my scratcher true. I must scratch more than ...
BC: Oh, you've got to be kidding me! This just gets worse and worse.

MK: HELLO! I'm over here still working on this trapeze bed! I thought you were helping!
{The cats completely ignore Momma until ...}
BC: M'ROW!
EM: Momma said we're supposed to share!
BC: SOMEONE got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! So, Momma ... what are you doing?
MK: Trying to figure out how this goes up there.
{Pause as Momma thinks ... she turns around to climb on the chair she pulled out and ...}
MK: BEAR! You're in the way!
BC: What do you mean I'm in the way? You asked me for help! Not that I have the magnitude of help you require ...
MK: {seeing something out of the side of her eye} Ellie, what are you doing?
EM: Shhhhh, Momma. Don't tell Bear - it's going to be a surprise!
BC: I see you, Smellie. You'll pounce on me the second I get down!
EM: Is it that obvious?
BC: Only because you're the size of a hippo. Have you ever seen a hippo hide? Oh, I get it! I didn't want the scratcher and so you don't either!
EM: Well, I do kind of want to play ...
{Half hour passes as the cats chase each other around}
MK: DONE! Bear? You want to try this?
BC: Ummm ....
MK: See, you jump on the first level and use it as a bed!
BC: You want me to do WHAT, WHERE?! Ummm ... I'm pretty sure this isn't in my contract.
EM: Who's the tough guy now?
BC: Umm ... I don't know about this. I'll be a gentlecat and let Smellie go first. Don't say I never give you anything.


EM: Umm ... I'll just watch you from over here.


BC: I told you you're about as fierce as a cream puff! You're not scared, are you?

EM: Of course not. You're just the expert in ...

{Pause}
EM: Yeah. I'm scared.
MK: Come on! I have to get a picture of one of you trying it! OH! I know! I'll get the treats!
{Momma gets the treats out of the pantry}
BC: I still don't know.
MK: You have to be on the pillow to get the treats.
EM: {mumbling to herself} And he thinks he's so smart! Let Bear distract Momma and I'm golden with my ...
MK: ELLIE! Caught red-pawed!
EM: But ... but ... my paw isn't red! It's black! Wait a ... the treat bag was booby trapped to change the color of my paw? And I took the bait!
MK: Ellie, get your paw out of the treat bag. You'll see nothing's booby trapped.
BC: Well, except for her brain.
MK: How about I pick you up and put you on the pillow bed, Bear?
{Pause}
MK: Okay! Okay! Sheesh! I don't think we have enough bandages to deal with this!

In the end, I had to set both cats on the cat bed (separately obviously) and they both jumped down before I could get a picture. Our cats are rather "full-sized" - and the pillows almost fold in half under their weight. They haven't given it a second glance. I can see why they'd hesitate - it wouldn't seem very stable to me with the folding pillow either. I continue to work with them on this because I really think they'll like it once they get used to it. The scratcher was a HUGE success though (as you'll see in the pictures below). 


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38 comments:

  1. HA! We were reading blogs at the same time today. Hey, I would be right in that hanging thing but the Dad would never figure it out!

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    1. I didn't say this ... but the reason I refuse to use it is because I don't trust Momma to know what she's doing! ~Bear Cat

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  2. That hanging bed does look a little scary. Wonder if they will ever try it out. At least it is all together. You all have a fine day.

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    1. I'd take bets on who tries it first, but I know if any cat gets up there, it's going to be Bear.

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  3. Da Boyz would be climbing on such a thing in a heartbeat, but nothing scares them!

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  4. AMARULA: A tank! A rhino - you are funny Bear! I also would not step foot in that bed no matter how comfy it looks!! What I would do however is put the shark bed under the new bed, wait until your sister goes into the shark bed and then jump into the new bed and hope the whole thing comes falling down on my unsuspecting sis!!

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    1. Smellie would NEVER go in my shark bed. Or she wouldn't survive it anyway ... ~Bear Cat

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  5. My stars Ellie and Bear I am officially jealous what a wonderful new addition to the house. I can hardly wait to see photos of who is brave enough take a leap of faith
    Hugs Cecilia

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    1. I'd take bets on who tries it first, but I know if any cat gets up there, it's going to be Bear.

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  6. Looks like a fun playground. Bet if you put a treat or two on the pillow, they'd get up there. Good luck!

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  7. Ellie Mae does love her scratchers, doesn't she? We were offered one of those beds but I wasn't sure where we would put it. I think Mudpie would like it, although I think it would be a challenge to get her in it at first.

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  8. HAH! Bear really gave the what-for! HAH! Usually I don't warm up to a bed for a good 6 months. Dunno if I'd rest in that contraption neither.

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    1. Their trying to kill us! You have to fight the cube bed and this trapeze is after me. I KNOW IT. ~Bear Cat

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  9. That is a cool trapeze. Being that I am still waiting for my hubby to install some cat shelves ( about 4 years of waiting so far), I won't get one/

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    Replies
    1. I can count on one hand the number of times that cats have used our shelves - and all but one time was because I set them up there.

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  10. That's a shame about the bed, but maybe one or both of the kitties--for some reason I can see Ellie over Bear--will eventually give it a try. I don't think the kitties here would like it because Pierrot is too big and Annie wouldn't be able to jump up.

    Bear, you made me laugh about your rigorous nap schedule. There are two kitties here who concur! I also thought the picture of you looking up at the bed after MK finished so funny.

    The scratcher looks awesome. Ellie, you're so sweet!

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  11. Well this will be something I pass on. It probably wouldn't support the majority of the Kitties Blue. I suspect only Astrid and Sawyer would be small enough, and they are not likely to jump onto something that moves when they do. Thank you for the honest review. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy and Sawyer

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  12. Oh my whiskers, every time The Male Human and The Female Human get something in a box that requires thenm to put something together there is a lot of hissing and meowing going on in our house (and that's from the Humans!). We felines just go about our business (which includes sniffing the new items, sitting in the box for a while and then going back to our nap positions). That hanging thingy looks nice but I think the male Tribe members would be far too pudgy to fit!
    Purrs & Head Bonks,
    Alberto

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    Replies
    1. They take for granted all the help we give them! UNGRATEFUL. ~Bear Cat

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  13. I bet that bed would be a hit with kittens (if they could get into it). I bet I could hang that in the catio and Sophie would love it! Hmmm...I might just have to try that! But poor Woodrow, being full sized as well, probably wouldn't do well!

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    Replies
    1. We love Sophie and Woodrow. She's welcome to come over any time ;)

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  14. That trapeze bed looks like it would be fun...but you’re right...it might not be the best for those of us who carry a little more weight.

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  15. Now that's really cool. Mommy says she'd be a little 'fraid it wouldn't hold us, but we'd luv to take it fur a spin. As fur Ellie's worms...we thought ya'll got rid of them?. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. I think we did - but we thought that before. I think Raena would have her mind blown with the trapeze :)

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  16. Good for your momma to persevere and find a way to get that hammock hung up. It looks comfy and I would purr-obably lay on it as long as it didn't swing around, 'cause that could make a kitty's tummy get all knotted up inside. Maybe you are worried you will get motion sickness, Ellie and Bear? Purr purr purr.

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    1. It does move/swing when a cat jumps on or off. I can see why that might be a problem for felines.

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  17. Hey, at least the scratcher was a hit!! MOL. That seems like a really good idea, but getting cats to use something different like that could definitely be challenging. Keep us posted!!
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  18. That trapeze bed looks pretty interesting, though we agree ... we're not sure if it would go over super well with bigger kitties. :)

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