Thinking outside of the litter box

Latte's about to discover that her sisfur might not be as dumb as she looks. In the process of Latte's discovery, the fur flies! We're not sure ... who do you think won this battle? Not Mom, that's for sure!

L: Latte [tortie/tabby girl kitten] 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy lady cat] 
MK: Momma Kat [Latte and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance, Daddy to Latte and Ellie 

{Kat walks into the bathroom and screams}
L: {sitting on the bathmat} Hi, Momma!
MK: Umm ... okay.
L: What are you doing?
MK: Hanging up the clean towels.
L: Oh. Okay.
L: {AHEM!} Do you mind?
MK: Not really.
L: No! I want privacy!
{Kat leaves the bathroom}
{Two hours pass}
{Kat walks into the bathroom and screams}
L: {sitting on the bathmat} Hi, Momma!
MK: We have to stop meeting like this!
L: Why?

MK: Because you'll give me a heart attack!
L: How can I give you a heart attack when I don't even have a heart attack?
MK: {sigh}.
L: Well, I haven't moved. So ...
MK: You've been sitting here for two hours?
L: Time's relative.
MK: Okay. Carry on.
L: I always do.
{Three hours pass}
{Kat walks into the bathroom and screams}
L: {still sitting on the bathmat} Hi, Momma!
MK: Son of a ...
L: I haven't moved! You should've known!
MK: Umm ... how many times since we've adopted you have you stayed in one place for five hours?
L: Hmm ... you have a point. Judging from the past, I wouldn't still be here.
MK: Yep. 
L: What are you doing in here?

MK: I have to go to the bathroom!
L: Be quick!
MK: In my own bathroom?
L: Are you done yet?
MK: No!
L: HURRY UP! No parking!
MK: Stop staring at me!
L: Then hurry up!
MK: Never mind! I'll go later.
L: Good.
MK: I'm about to feed you and your sisfur.
L: No, thanks.

MK: Did I step into some backward reality?
L: No, you stepped into the bathroom.
MK: No, but you sit still ... you aren't interested in food.
L: I'm busy!
MK: {thinking to herself} I know better than to ask.
L: Bye!
MK: This is my bathroom!
L: Privacy, Momma!
MK: When I ask you for privacy, you don't leave!
L: That's different.
MK: Why?
L: You need supervision!
MK: Since when?
L: Since always! It's my JOB!

MK: {looking around} Ooookay.
{Kat walks away}
MK: Ellie, do you know why the kitten is acting weird?
EM: She always acts weird. Just between you and me, I'm not sure she's a cat.
MK: You have a point. She always acts weird.
EM: Duh.
MK: But why is she sitting in the bathroom all day demanding privacy?
EM: I don't know! It's not like I told her ... NUTS!
MK: What did you tell her?
EM: Nothing.
EM: No speak Spanish!

MK: You don't speak Spanish.
EM: No, I don't speak ... @*#(!
MK: I'll just go ask your sisfur what you told her. Only if I hear it from her, I'll be mad.
EM: Ummm ... so if you hear it from me you won't be mad?
MK: Ummm ... I guess I can't promise that.
EM: I'll take my chances.
MK: Ellie!
EM: Hmmm. Now I understand why Bear liked to be the bad boy. I feel cool.
EM: I'm a bad boy! Bad to the BONE!

MK: No, you're not. You're the sweetest cat I've ever met.
EM: Yes, I am! I'm a bad boy!
MK: You can't be a bad boy.
EM: Yes, I can! No more nice girl!
MK: You're not a boy.
EM: That's discrimination! Bear's right! You wouldn't let him be a princess and now you won't let me be a bad boy!
MK: *@(* this #(@$. I'm getting too old for this.
EM: Just call me Ellie "Bad Boy" Mae.
MK: Latte!
{Kat walks into the bathroom}
MK: Why are you sitting on the bathmat?
L: SHHHHH! It's a secret!

MK: What kind of secret?
L: Ellie said if I told it wouldn't happen.
MK: Given that you've sat here for six hours, I think the chance of it happening is kind of slim.
L: She's too stupid to lie to me!
MK: What did she tell you?
L: She said this bathmat is a magic carpet! She told me if I sat on it long enough, it would come to life.
EM: I'm not home!
MK: {sigh}
MK: Ellie, you're grounded.
EM: COOL! Now I have street cred! Do I get a badge or something?
MK: Ellie, being an @$$ isn't anything to be proud of!
EM: Well, BEAR was proud of it.
MK: Bear was also proud to call you Smellie, but that didn't make it okay, right?
EM: She was bugging me! "Ellie, let's do this! Ellie! Let's do that! Ellie, play with me! Ellie, let's pretend we can fly!" A girl needs her beauty rest!
MK: You mean like how you annoyed Bear so much that he told you he'd play hide and seek with you if you went and hid?
EM: He never found me! I showed him!
MK: Ellie, he never looked for you! He just wanted you to leave him alone!
EM: You mean like when he told me he was dead?!
MK: {sigh} Yes.
EM: But I wasn't annoying like HER!
MK: I quit.
EM: {mumbling to herself} I still want a badge.
L: WAIT! So this isn't a magic carpet? I can't fly it around the house?

MK: {sigh} No. Remember when Ellie told you the couch was a time machine?
L: Yeah! I crawled into the couch to go back in time before I whapped my mousie under the couch!
MK: Did it work?
L: No.
MK: Sooo ...
MK: Uh huh.
L: I have to re-examine all my life choices! I was bested by an ... an ... unsharp crayon!

EM: Who's the dummy now?
L: Yeah, well, at least I'm not a low rider.
L: Too much?
MK: I recommend you steer clear of your sisfur.
L: Phht. That's hard. She's the size of an ... an ... whatever is really big.
EM: I'm voluptuous! That's what Momma says!
MK: Latte, just leave your sisfur alone.
L: No problem. She stinks.
MK: Hahahaha. Just keep digging, kitten. For being so smart, you're not having a good day.
L: Hmph. We all have bad days. At least I'm cute. You can't say that for HER!
L: No, I was talking about some other cat.
EM: Oh. Okay.
L: {sigh} I was bested by that.

L: Nothing!
EM: Okay.
MK: {sigh}.
The Boy: {walking in the front door} How are my girls!?
{Kat furiously shakes her head no}
Latte and Ellie Mae: {both at the same time} Let me tell you!
Latte and Ellie Mae: {both at the same time}: WHAT?!?!
The Boy: Kat? Why did your Mom lock herself in the bedroom?
L: Let me tell you!
EM: You?! What about me?
L: You?! After what YOU did? HA!
EM: What I did?! What about what YOU did?!
The Boy: Ah. You girls were a couple of handfuls for your Momma, huh?
L: Phht. If I'm a handful, then Smellie is eight handfuls!
L: Everyone knows you're a chunker!

EM: Everyone WHO?
L: I heard Daddy say it ...
EM: DADDY?! DADDY! I know you're here!
The Boy: {in the bedroom with Momma} That got out of hand quickly!
The Boy: How was I supposed to know the kitten was listening?! She doesn't listen to anything we tell her!
EM: I hear voices!
L: They're in the bedroom, dummy!
{The bedroom door opens and The Boy is pushed out before the door closes again}
EM: DADDY! I have a bone to pick with you!
The Boy: Erm ... I'm not home?
EM: Oh. Okay. Talk to you later. I'm going to make myself a badge!
The Boy: I know better than to ask ...
L: It should say "dummy!"
EM: Oh, YEAH?! Who's the dummy today?

© 2022 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Written and Published by Katherine Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2022. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact 

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  1. AMARULA: Unsharp crayon is right! I have a couple of those over here myself! I really don't know how you manage to stay sane Latte! Hope you get all the privacy you need!

    1. I wish there were someplace we can send our siblings. Siberia? ~Latte

  2. Elie Mae, Remember...I always told you that you can come over whenever she gets out of hand. Just as I said when Bear was being a stinker. Come on over. We'll do girly things and whisper under the blankie and have midnight and every two hour snacks.

    1. Sounds like heaven! Why can't you be my sisfur? ~Ellie Mae

  3. Poor Latte, that was a mean thing to do to her. I guess you are a bad boy Ellie. :)

  4. You cats rule your house, for sure!

    1. It'd be nice to get a word or two in edgewise, but it's totally worth it!

  5. Well, it is a cats job to supervise all things bathroom!

  6. I think a flying carpet is a great idea! Latte needs to talk you into making one for her . . . Linda

    1. I think she'll have to settle for the flying laundry basket (she loves to hop in the basket and have me carry her around).

  7. MOL MOL MOL thinking outside the litter box!! Angel Madi 'required' 2 boxes one for #1, one for #2.
    Hugs Cecilia

    1. Haha. Bear just used different sides of the litter box. Well, until we got Ellie and she screwed everything up!

  8. Bwahahahaha! That. was. just. rich. Thanks for the giggles while you guys think outside the litter box.

    1. Sometimes I miss the quiet ... but it's totally worth it!

  9. Y’know, being the only cat now sometimes has its advantages. I don’t have to put up with any other cats like you two do! ~Ernie

    1. The funny thing is that my Mom got Latte because she thought I was sad about Bear not being here! I was sad ... but not THAT sad! ~Ellie Mae

  10. Well Ellie Mae, you might think yo have pulled one over on Latte, but now you are finding what Bear put up with. Why don't you both agree to be nice to each other. Nah, that would be no fun!

  11. Sounds like the bathroom there is a castle, and Momma ain't the queen.

    1. Stoopid Blogger issues ... that's our comment marked as "anonymous."

  12. Ellie Mae, I think Bear would be proud of you. You're filling his shoes well.


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