Friday, March 1, 2019

On Duty: Momma's nurses

EM: Ellie Mae Kat
BC: Bear Cat Kat
MK: Momma Kat 

EM: M'ROW MEEEEEEEEE'ROW! MEW 'ROW MEEEEEEOW!
BC: What's all the racket?
EM: Momma's sick!
BC: And you JUST figured that out? I mean, why else would she enjoy taking us to the vet, clipping our claws, etc?
EM: I don't think she actually ENJOYS ... Momma's got Daddy's ...
BC: Cooties? 
EM: My Daddy doesn't have cooties!
BC: They've clearly affected you too.
EM: OH, NO! How do I get rid of them? I thought Momma was just sick with Daddy's cold! But COOTIES? Sounds serious!
BC: Phht. She'd have a cold for him? I think not.
EM: NO! I mean Momma caught the cold Daddy has!
BC: Big surprise there. Kissy facing all up in our grill. GET. A. ROOM.
EM: WHAT?!?! 
BC: You're not old enough to know. Ask Momma about the birds and the bees.
EM: They're sick because of birds and bees? I'll give those jerks a piece of my mind!
BC: Phht. You do that every day, Yellie.
EM: What?
BC: You give Momma and The Boy a piece of your mind everyday. Probably why you don't have any left!
EM: NO! I'd give the birds and bees a piece of my mind.
BC: There goes the rest of your brain.
EM: But if they got Momma and Daddy sick ...
BC: I bet the bees would tell you to BUZZ off. 
EM: Well, that's not very nice!
BC: It's a euphemism!
EM: Stop calling me names! I'm not a femism! You're a femism!
BC: No. A euphemism is something one says to avoid talking about something unpleasant or raunchy.

EM: Oh. So what's it a femism for?
BC: YOU-femism!
EM: FINE! YOU femism too!
BC: Speaking of ... did you hear what The Boy told Momma? "You're not as hot as you were yesterday!"
EM: WHAT?!
BC: I think he meant her fever, but he sure knows how to stick a foot in it. He's lucky her foot doesn't end up his butt.
EM: That would probably hurt. I have to pay attention to keeping watch over Momma and you're distracting me!
BC: What do you think will happen if you don't watch over Momma? Body-snatchers? Aliens? Rabid buffalo?
EM: Body-snatchers?
{Pause}
EM: And aliens?
{Pause}
EM: And rabid buffalo?
{Pause}
EM: OH, MY!
BC: And they've got big teeth!
EM: TEETH?! How big?
BC: HUGE!

EM: No one told me about aliens. Or body-snatchers! Or rabid buffalo! Especially any of those with huge teeth!
BC: Don't worry, the soul-snatching ones are the ones you have to look out for.
EM: Well, I guess you're safe ...
BC: Hardy har har. What's the fun in having a soul?
EM: Where's the fun in being a jerk?
BC: Do you really have to ask that?
EM: You barfed on my scratcher again! I'm not talking to you!
BC: You JUST decided you're not ... THANK YOU!
EM: Barf on your own stuff.
BC: I barfed on Momma the other night.
EM: She's not YOURS. She's OURS.
BC: Besides, I didn't barf on your scratcher ... as repugnant as I find the concept of scratchers. There's perfectly good furniture around here to scratch.
EM: What do you mean ...
BC: Sounds like something a rabid buffalo would do.
EM: You did it last week. I SAW you!
BC: I know. But rabid buffalo are infamous for barfing on things.
EM: Wouldn't that make them barfalo?
BC: That's actually not the stupidest thing you've said.
EM: Err ... thank you?
BC: Though that might be!
EM: Oh, shut up! I'm busy!
BC: Momma has a cold and you are sitting on her chest?
EM: If she's cold, I need to keep her warm!
BC: Hmph. I tried that last week and she just got mad at me!
EM: She got mad at you because you couldn't annoy her while she was covered by the blankets so you sat on her head!
BC: To keep it warm! Move over. It's my turn.
EM: No. I was here first and I don't trust you!
BC: Is that a tuna can opening somewhere?
EM: TUNA?

{Pause}
EM: Wait a minute ... Momma's the only one home! And I'm laying on her! Nice try.
BC: The rabid buffalo strikes again.
EM: Rabid buffalo eat tuna?
BC: How do you think they get in those cans?
EM: The buffalo do that?
BC: It's tough on the range.
EM: What?! Buffalo are NOT on our stove!
BC: Must I explain everything to you? The range! Like wild Americana!
EM: Besides, I have to stay close to make sure she's okay.
BC: I feel like playing.
EM: REALLY?
BC: Yeah. Why not?
EM: With ME?
BC: Yeah!
EM: This isn't a trick like you've played on me before when you said we were playing and then you took a nap until I figured out you weren't chasing me.
BC: I've seen the error of my ways.
EM: REALLY?
BC: Come on, Sis. Let's play!

EM: SIS? Play? IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED! We're going to be the best of friends! This is the bestest day ever!
BC: Let's go play where we won't disturb Momma, Sis ...
{Pause}
BC: {to himself} -sy.
EM: Are you sick? Did you have a brain transplant?
BC: As if. That would be one lucky recipient. Can't a guy just appreciate his sister?
EM: To go out there means I have to leave Momma!
BC: She'll be fine. We can check on her. GO!
{Ellie takes off running down the hall}
EM: We're going to tell each other scary stories and have private jokes and be best friends!
{Pause}
EM: Bear?! Where are you?
BC: I'm invisible!
EM: Really? How can we play if I can't see you?
BC: Do you feel that?
EM: Ummm ...
{Pause}
EM: YES! I feel you, Bear!
MK: {moaning as she re-situates} Bear? Are you keeping me warm?
BC: Don't worry, Momma. I'm taking care of you.
MK: I love you, Bear. You're the best nurse-cat.
BC: I love you too, Momma.
EM: HEY! I was there first! You tricked me!
BC: Again. If only it weren't so easy. I should write a book.
EM: I HATE YOU!
BC: Don't look now, but there's a rabid buffalo behind you.
EM: {freezing} HUH?!

{Pause}
EM: {tearing out of the bedroom} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
BC: It's about time we're left alone.
{From the family room Ellie can be heard careening off furniture and walls}
BC: She never disappoints. And she wonders what the fun is in being a jerk!

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Disclosure: We received Purina Muse Creatables Variety Pack Wet Cat Food [16 count] - for free in exchange for an honest review. Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat only shares information we believe would be of interest to our readers. The content is ours - neither Purina nor Chewy are responsible for the contents of this post. #ChewyInfluencer


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{Later that day}
MK: Arf few deady for ar shencod fewwy renew?
EM: Huh?
BC: {whispering} She's speaking rabid buffalo.
EM: Oh, NO! She was attacked while I was sent on a wild goose chase by SOME CAT.
BC: Don't look at me! I was busy taking care of Momma!
EM: Oooh! You ... I WAS THERE FIRST AND ... YOU ... YOU ...
MK: Werf renewing use crephataboles.

BC: Umm ... Momma? You might want to blow your nose.
MK: On. Yesh.
{Momma blows her nose}
BC: Your nose is running and you can't catch it! Hahahahahahaha.
MK: Muse Creatables. All the contents are natural, grain free, gluten-free and are made without corn, wheat, soy, fillers or poultry by-product meals. 

{Pause}
MK: The sixteen count includes six Simply Sauces (two each of Seafood Chowder, Chicken Gravy, and Salmon Gravy) ...

{Pause}
MK: ... six Tender Filets (two each of Flaked Salmon, Flaked Tuna, and Shredded Chicken) ...

{Pause}
MK: ... and four Crunchy Bites (two each of Salmon flavor and Chicken Flavor).

{Pause}
MK: The idea is to personalize one's cat's meals between all the options. I chose this product because I know you two like foods with more than one flavor. For example, we can mix the Flaked Tuna with the Chicken Gravy.
BC: GRAVY?
EM: Tuna?
MK: The great thing about the Creatables kit is that I can use the components separately - as a topper for your regular food - or together - to create a complete and balanced meal. Now badoubt sifoof ...
BC: {AHEM!}
MK: On. Noph.
{Momma blows her nose}
MK: How about Seafood Chowder and Flaked Tuna?

BC: OKAY!
EM: YAY!
MK: There you go.
BC: What's that?
MK: TUNA! And GRAVY!

BC: Nope.
MK: Come on, Bear!
BC: You really excelled this month. BOTH things you ordered suck!

BC: I demand you give me real food.
MK: I did!
BC: Good. Then you'll eat it!

MK: Bear ...
BC: Fine! I'll get my own food from the pantry!
MK: {sigh} Let's see what else we have ...
BC: That's what I thought!
{Ten minutes pass as Momma feeds Bear something different, totally forgetting to take pictures of Ellie enjoying her portion on the Creatables food}

MK: Chewy is easy to love: they have a wide selection of QUALITY pet products, freshness is guaranteed, and they offer fast shipping and easy returns on all orders. With orders over $49, one to two day shipping is FREE! After hearing so many bloggers talk about Chewy's fast shipping, I was eager to see the difference for myself ... and sure enough! FAST! Much faster than any other seller I've encountered. Though my favorite part is 24/7 customer service. How many times have I been up late at night shopping for cat supplies, had a question, but couldn't ask it because chat wasn't available?

Interested in trying Purina Muse Creatables Variety Pack Wet Cat Food [16 count]? Go visit Chewy and order a pack for your favorite feline!

Wonder what we've thought about the other products we've reviewed as part of the Influencer program? To find our past reviews you may follow this tag: #ChewyInfluencer.

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© 2019 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern.  
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern]. No part of my post may be used without my written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact mommakatandherbearcat@gmail.com.

40 comments:

  1. Bear, YOU never disappoint! You’re so funny. Bless Ellie’s heart for taking care of her momma. We hope she feels better soon!

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  2. Hope Momma Kat feels better soon! And I like this mix and match idea.

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  3. Ellie, why do I think that a well-placed paw whap on Bear's noggin just might turn him around? Not that I advocate violence...

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    Replies
    1. I advocate violence ... just not against myself. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  4. Our dad gave our mom some germs in January. Those germs made her unable to cook, clean, do laundry or pay bills for over a week. That’ll teach him!

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  5. Put some of that tuna on top of Mom's head Bear, it will make her feel better. Well, maybe not, but we hope she feels better soon.

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  6. AMARULA: Bear, what's this rabid Buffalo you speak of? Can you send it up to Canada to chase down Frodo and Zulu?

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  7. I hope Momma Kat is soon feeling better. I am sure you are both doing a good job of looking after her, you are just doing an even better job of hiding it.

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  8. "You're not as hot as you were yesterday!" MOL!!! Hope your wonderful mom is feeling better soon.

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  9. We never would have pictured Bear in the role of nurturing nurse, or fighting for that position! Hope Momma is feeling better by now.
    Jan & the crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  10. I hope your Mom is feeling better quickly.

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  11. I really did, for a moment at least, think they said 'Creatable Mouse' but I was reading it upside down and in the dark. But imagine creating your own tasty mice, Bear, you could turn it to tasty chicken flavour!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin
    PS Get well soon to the staff so they can feed you more food without strange foreign accent; was it Russian? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Looks like those were a total fail. MOL That's what we think of Purina as a whole. It's a shame that such a large company has to create crap when they could actually do good by pets and still make money. Anyways, we're sorry you don't feel good awnty Kat. Bear, you and Ellei should get along...at least while your mommy's sick. She needs ya'll to take care of her. We're sendin' big hugs and purrayers. Get well soon.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  13. Darn, we sure hope Momma Kat feels better soon. Sending lots of healing purrs and prayers.

    By the way...

    BC: YOU-femism!
    EM: FINE! YOU femism too!

    Bwahahahaha! Thanks for making us laugh. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry you didn't like the food, nothings beats a tasty whole chicken :) I hope your Momma feels better soon. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No kidding! Why doesn't she just order me a chicken! ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  15. Gosh years ago when my daughter was a wee girl I had was sick in bed with the creeping crud. My daughter promptly tole me Moms are not supposed to get sick.. I hope and purr by now she is feeling better
    Hugs Cecilia

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    Replies
    1. All Moms are Wonder Woman mixed with Super Man (only in girl form) :)

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  16. haha...You two mAKE ME FEEL LIKE i KNOW YOU! i LOVED YOUR REVOEW AND WISH WE COULD TRY THESE GOODIES. Woops, sorry about yelling at you.

    Shoko

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I don't talk about this much ... but as I've continued to blog, I've picked up other bloggers knacks for making my kitties just as lovable in the blog as they are in real life. Even more, you would be one of those I've learned the most from. I love Kali so dearly - and Shoko - and Budd - and even little Tyebe.

      Delete
  17. We hope your mama feels better soon. Being nurse-mated by Bear could make recovery 'interesting.'

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  18. I swear, Ellie, you sure have your paws full! Bear, you might occasionally let up on her? No? OK.

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    Replies
    1. Last time I let up on her, I landed on my back with her biting me. NO THANKS. ~Bear Cat

      Delete
  19. MK...please get better really soon. Cooties generally fall of ya after three days. Let's start the count down.

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  20. Cooties? EWWW! The doggie has those. I didn't know that "The Boy" carried them to and could pass them on to you, Momma Kat! But with you under the care of Ellie and Bear those cooties will soon be TOAST! Purr purr purr.

    ReplyDelete