Bear's tip jar

Bear left a "tip jar" with his sisfur. Today, we share Bear's last nuggets of wisdom in the form of common sayings - "Bear-i-fied." Bear might be in the next life, but his shadow continues to loom large over our grieving household. Yet, at times, it seems as if he's still with us - in the things he taught his sisfer and the way he trained his humans. As usual, Ellie's a bit slow and not exactly the star pupil - but she knows how to bring it when necessary. 

BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat] 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat] 
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

To read more about the characters, please visit our Characters page.

MK: {walking into a room} El ...
MK: What?
EM: You scared me!
MK: Because you're doing something you shouldn't be doing?
EM: Hmm. Yeah, I guess living with Bear taught you that lesson.
MK: What's behind your back?
EM: Erm ... nothing?

MK: You'll have to do better than that.
EM: Erm ... I ... But Bear always said whatever he was up to was nothing!
MK: I know. And I never believed him.
EM: I'm NOT going to tell you, Momma. So don't even try, no matter how many times you interrogate me!
MK: Okay.
EM: Erm ... I ... I can't take your interrogation anymore! IT'S BEAR!
MK: You have Bear ... in a jar.
EM: Don't be ridiculous. He couldn't fit. The JAR is Bear's.

MK: Okay.
EM: Okay.
MK: No, that was an invitation to tell me how you got a jar that belongs to Bear.
EM: Well, see, I was in my rescue's enclosure at the pet supply store, and you came up to the window ...
MK: I know your adoption story and how you met Bear, Ellie! Fast forward to the jar!
EM: So I put a dollar in Bear's tip jar.
MK: What about the jar?
EM: Yeah.
MK: Wait. Where did you get a dollar?
EM: Erm ... if I tell you, you have to promise to not be mad.

MK: Okay. Where did you get a dollar?
EM: I found it in your purse and I didn't want it to go to waste!
MK: What's this have to do with the jar? Rewind a bit.
EM: Erm ... I went to the litter box and Bear yelled at me because I had a non-stinky poop in the stinky poop side of the litter box.
MK: ELLIE! Just start at the beginning ...
EM: God made heaven and earth ...
EM: Stop yelling at me!
MK: Please tell me what you know about Bear's jar.
EM: I got up from a nap and went to the bedroom to find Bear and he was there with this jar and a bunch of paper and stuff. I asked him what he's doing and he told me to leave him alone. So I told him his Momma looks like a man. And he said "so!?"

MK: I look like a man?
EM: NO! BEAR'S Momma looks like a man.
MK: I'm Bear's Momma too.
EM: Oh. Yeah. Anyway, I told him I was going to sit there and hold my breath until he told me what he was doing.
MK: Let me guess ... he ignored you and you almost passed out.
EM: WHOA! It's like you were THERE!
MK: {sigh}.
EM: So I asked Bear again what he was doing and he said he was making a tip jar.
MK: A tip jar? Like for people paying him tips?
EM: I don't think so. He said I could get a tip if I put a dollar in the jar. OH! And look! There's my dollar in the jar!
MK: Ellie, how many times have I told you not to give Bear money?
EM: Well, see, the joke's on him because he couldn't take it with him! So I got ALL the tips, the jar AND my dollar!

MK: Ellie ...
EM: Besides, there's plenty more where that came from.
MK: More what?
EM: Dollar bills.
EM: Daddy gives me money when Bear's mean to me.
MK: {screeching} HE DOES WHAT?
EM: Though, technically, since Bear isn't here anymore, I won't be getting any more money. But it's okay because I got my dollar back - at least I got it back by getting the jar.
MK: YOUR dollar?
EM: Is that a trick question? I found it.
MK: Okay okay. So what happened after you gave him a dollar?
EM: He put it in the jar. See?! There it is - in the jar.

MK: {sigh} Okay ...
EM: Okay.
MK: And then ...
EM: I picked a piece of paper out of the jar. I got a tip - just like he promised! You always told me he's trying to scam me - but I got what I paid for!
MK: What'd the piece of paper say?
EM: You mean, what did I READ on the piece of paper? Because paper doesn't actually say anything.
MK: Yes!
EM: The tip was: "It takes two to tango – but cats don’t dance."
MK: Ugh.
EM: I told him that was a crappy tip and I wanted my money back. He refused. But he said I could have another tip for free!
MK: Okay. What did that one say?
EM: "Don’t toot your own horn. Unless you're in your sibling's favorite bed." I told him that was stupid too. Then he asked me to watch his jar for him. I just wanted my dollar back - but technically, possessing the jar meant the dollar was mine - so I agreed to watch the jar for him.

MK: Then why is the dollar still in the jar?
EM: Stupid opposable thumbs ... I don't have any! I couldn't get the dollar out of the jar!

MK: And you never wondered what the rest of Bear's "tips" said?
EM: I figured they were ALL stupid like the first two. And then, while I watched the jar, I fell asleep. 
MK: Wait. Is this why you refused to leave the bedroom for two days?
EM: I must've missed whatever Bear was asking me to watch. So I just put the jar away in a safe spot. When I came out of the bedroom, Bear was gone! It's like he was trying to distract me from him leaving!
MK: {sigh}.
EM: Do humans really write tips to themselves and put them in jars?
MK: No. Tip jars are for putting monetary tips in when your server's service deserves a tip. As usual, Bear missed the point.
EM: Phht. Like any of us would tip him with money!
MK: You have a point. I guess Bear wasn't so far off in left field.
EM: Where's left field? Is that near the litter box?
MK: Never mind. Let's see what these tips say.
EM: I can't let you do that.
MK: Why not?
EM: Because Bear said I wasn't allowed to let anyone touch his tip jar!
MK: What if I give you your dollar back?
EM: Okay.
MK: {holding out the dollar} Here.
EM: Thanks.

EM: My precious ...

{Pause as the wheels turn in Ellie's head ...}
EM: Hmmm ... WAIT!
MK: What?
EM: You want to read all Bear's tips, right? How about you pay me a dollar per tip?
MK: No.
EM: Fifty cents per tip?
MK: No.
EM: A quarter per tip?
MK: Nope.
EM: A nickel per tip?
MK: Nope.
EM: A nickel for ALL of them?
MK: What do you think?
EM: OH! I get it! "A penny for your thoughts!" You asked what I think ... so you'll pay me a penny to read each tip!
MK: No.
EM: Bear was right. A cat can't make a living with you.

MK: Why would a cat need to make a living when I provide everything you need?
EM: I need a tuna farm.
MK: No, you don't. You WANT a tuna farm.
EM: Yes, and if I could eke out a living, I could BUY a tuna farm.
MK: Bear should be glad he's not here - because if he were, he'd be grounded forever for filling your head with his nonsense.
EM: How many cents is that?
MK: What?
EM: How many cents is noncents? Or are those cents that aren't money?
MK: I'm reading Bear's tips.
EM: Okay. But if Bear asks, you better tell him I didn't let you look at them.
MK: How would Bear ask that?
EM: "Momma, did Smellie let you read my tips in my tip jar?"
MK: NO! How would he ask me now that he's moved on to the other side.
EM: The other side? Of what?
MK: Never mind. Let's see here ... tip number one. "Good things come to those who wait ... said no cat ever."

EM: That's true!
MK: What's this number? Bear 87:9? Like "The Book of Bear, chapter 87, verse 9?"
EM: Bear's bible! The tips are a collection of his wisdom ...
MK: About what? Biting? Being ridiculous?
EM: Is Bear in trouble?
MK: Tip number two. "Biting speaks louder than words." HA! I was right! Ten bucks says there's something in here about being ridiculous.

EM: I know better than to take that bet. Even though ten dollars is kind of a drop in the bucket.
MK: But why Bear 8 1/2:39? It's like he made those up.
EM: I don't know. They sound pretty official.
MK: Ellie, it doesn't matter! You can make something that's all crap sound official!
EM: Oh, yeah. Like Bear calling himself a crapper because he's a cat rapper.
MK: No! No, that doesn't sound official at all! That just sounds stupid!
EM: What about "Share Bear Day?"
MK: WAIT! What do you mean ten dollars is a drop in the bucket? How much money do you have?
EM: Bear said I have twenty dollars.
MK: You LET Bear count your money?
EM: I can't count that high!
MK: Ellie, if you got paid every time Bear was mean to you - 24/7 for three years, you'd have hundreds of dollars.
EM: I would? It's a good thing Bear is dead, I'd kill him myself!
MK: But if you have so much money, as you say, why worry so much over the $1 you gave Bear?
EM: It's the principle of the thing.
MK: Never mind. Bear 6:12 - "Don't yell "chicken" in a crowded theater." Oh, for Pete's ...

EM: Huh. Bear is really smart.
MK: WHAT?!?! Who would yell "chicken" in a crowded theater?
EM: Someone who saw a chicken in a crowded theater. DUH.
MK: Yes, but humans don't care about ... oh, never mind. Let's do another one.
MK: Bear 32:14 - "Where one door shuts, there's a cat waiting on the other side of it."

EM: SEE?!?! He's brilliant! When a door shuts, there's TOTALLY a cat waiting on the other side of it!
MK: Ugh. Maybe. But he missed the entire point of that saying about opportunity.
EM: What says no opportunity like a closed door?
MK: {sigh} One more ... Bear 47:23 - "Every dog has his day - when a cat isn't around."

EM: THESE ARE GREAT! The first two I saw were stupid! But these are DEFINITELY worth a dollar. Words to live by!
EM: Erm ... although, Bear isn't living anymore, so maybe this isn't the best advice ...

MK: We'll put these all away for another time.

EM: But I want to know all the tips from Bear's tip jar!

MK: I'll type them all up for you - but I have other things I need to do today.
EM: Like what?
MK: People things.
EM: Don't make me bite you, Momma. Bear 8 1/2:39: "Biting speaks louder than words."
MK: {mumbling to herself} I bet Bear's laughing his striped butt off! What are you? Bear 2.0?
EM: What does that Bear 2.0 say, Momma?

MK: That one what?
EM: Bear 2.0?
MK: No, not the book of Bear, like a newer version. The first version is one-point-oh. And the second generation is two-point-oh.
EM: If you don't want to tell me, you can just say that instead of making up nonsense.
MK: {sigh}.

The Tips in Bear's Tip Jar [typed by Momma]

© 2021 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2021. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact 

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  1. There came some very wise...and humourous advices out of that sweet Angel BearCat's jar, Elli Mae😸Thank you for summing them all up for us. Pawkisses for a Happy Day to all of you🐾😽💞

    1. Bear was so smart! Except for when he was mean to me. ~Ellie Mae

  2. Bear, Ellie Mae and Mamma, you started my day with a smile. I loved these and I am tempted to save the list from the book of Bear!

    1. We're glad. Seems like every cat person should have a copy of the book of Bear :)

  3. Ellie Mae what a big responsibility you have to be keeper of Bear's Tip jar. Well done...Tips from Bear are valuable.
    Hugs cecilia

    1. Bear was smart! Except for when he was mean to me :) ~Ellie Mae

  4. The wisdom of Bear will always will always guide you Ellie, even if it is slowly!

    1. Only now he has to be patient because he can't bite me any more! HA! ~Ellie Mae

  5. AMARULA: Oh Bear! We miss you still so much- and i know one of your tips was It takes two to tango – but cats don’t dance---but you are wrong-cats so dance cause you danced your way into my heart!

  6. Bear had some very wise tips for you Ellie, and some maybe not so wise.

    1. Haha. Very wise and not so wise. Describes my brofur perfectly! ~Ellie Mae

  7. ellie....heerz a tip for free.....frum bearz mind ...ta gram paw dudez mind ....ta mind meld with uz


    bear, noe oh fenze dood but we scrolled past de bass terd chickn tipz ;) ☺☺♥♥

    1. Hahaha. So my taste in food is better than Bear's?!?! Hahahaha. At least you don't have to worry about confronting birds here anymore! ~Ellie Mae

  8. that is one hell of a lifetime full of tips!! Bear, ya done good!!!

  9. Those are significant tips from Bear! Ellie Mae has a responsibility that is both weighty and hilarious as Keeper of Bear's Tip Jar, but I have a feeling she is up to the challenge!

    1. OH! Can I put that on my resume?!? "Keeper of Bear's Tip Jar" has a nice ring to it! ~Ellie Mae

  10. Oh boy...these are PRICELESS (as is sweet Ellie). 😻

  11. That Bear sure was a smart boy, and will always be looking over all of you!

    1. Even when I'm in the litter box?! Isn't that ... umm .. creepy?! ~Ellie Mae

  12. Ellie, all those tips are worth a million dollars. XO

    1. You think I could sell them?!? Momma typed them all up ... so I might as well get my tuna farm. ~Ellie Mae

  13. Oh My Cod! I HAVE to get a tip jar! AND I have to put all of Bear's Tips in it! I wanna be just like Bear! And I wanna hug his Momma as only a strippy cat can (and maybe a little bity too)

    1. Oh, Marv! That would be lovely! Your own tip jar, stripe-y cat hugs and even the bity! ~Kat
      I feel sorry for your fur-sibs if you take Bear's advice! ~Ellie Mae

  14. Thanks so much for your kind words when I left for the bridge it meant so very much Friends
    Love from us all
    Timmy Tomcat and Family

    1. You're more than welcome. We only wish we could do more to ease your pain.

  15. Bear you are so adorable and great tip jar ~ Xo

    Love the fog photo ~ hope you are enjoying your season change ~ Xo

    Living in the moment,

    A ShutterBug Exploresk
    aka (A Creative Harbor)

    1. Thank you. My brofur was handsome, if I might say so myself! ~Ellie Mae

  16. Ellie, just make your own way...and take Angel Bear's words of wisdom with a grain of salt!

    1. Erm ... I mean, they seem pretty genius to me ... but I'm not Bear and I do have to be my own cat. I don't bite for one! ~Ellie Mae

  17. Wow, those ARE words to live by. Bear's wisdom, wit, and spirit will live forever.

    Ellie, you could totally get, like, a lot of dollars for all the tips in the Book of Bear!

  18. Those are amazing words of wisdom ! Those tips are worth a lot of green papers ! Purrs

    1. Erm ... if you don't mind telling me who would buy them ... ~Ellie Mae

  19. Such a wise cat, that Bear. I know you've committed all of those tips to memory, Ellie. You never know when one will come in handy.

    1. I'm memorizing them slowly. Some things are worth taking one's time! ~Ellie Mae

  20. I so enjoyed reading all of Bear's tips. I stoled a notebook from Momma's office so I could write them down. I live wif an AssWabbit and some of these will come in pwetty handy. Love yoo all! Dori

    1. Just make sure A.W. doesn't get a paw on that notebook!!! Can you imagine the trouble that might cause? ~Ellie Mae

  21. We thought you meant the monetary type of tips, but we love Bear's tips!

    1. I think Bear would've liked his tip jar to contain money! Too bad he got his allowance taken away. ~Ellie Mae

  22.'s starting to sound like Bear did teach Ellie Mae a few things!


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