Bear's tip jar

Bear left a "tip jar" with his sisfur. Today, we share Bear's last nuggets of wisdom in the form of common sayings - "Bear-i-fied." Bear might be in the next life, but his shadow continues to loom large over our grieving household. Yet, at times, it seems as if he's still with us - in the things he taught his sisfer and the way he trained his humans. As usual, Ellie's a bit slow and not exactly the star pupil - but she knows how to bring it when necessary. 




BC: Bear Cat Kat [handsome tabby cat] 
EM: Ellie Mae Kat [black, gorgeously floofy cat] 
MK: Momma Kat [Bear and Ellie's human Momma, named Kat] 
The Boy: Momma's fiance 

To read more about the characters, please visit our Characters page.


MK: {walking into a room} El ...
EM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: What?
EM: You scared me!
MK: Because you're doing something you shouldn't be doing?
EM: Hmm. Yeah, I guess living with Bear taught you that lesson.
MK: What's behind your back?
EM: Erm ... nothing?


MK: You'll have to do better than that.
EM: Erm ... I ... But Bear always said whatever he was up to was nothing!
MK: I know. And I never believed him.
EM: I'm NOT going to tell you, Momma. So don't even try, no matter how many times you interrogate me!
MK: Okay.
EM: Erm ... I ... I can't take your interrogation anymore! IT'S BEAR!
MK: You have Bear ... in a jar.
EM: Don't be ridiculous. He couldn't fit. The JAR is Bear's.


MK: Okay.
EM: Okay.
MK: No, that was an invitation to tell me how you got a jar that belongs to Bear.
EM: Well, see, I was in my rescue's enclosure at the pet supply store, and you came up to the window ...
MK: I know your adoption story and how you met Bear, Ellie! Fast forward to the jar!
EM: So I put a dollar in Bear's tip jar.
MK: What about the jar?
EM: Yeah.
MK: Wait. Where did you get a dollar?
EM: Erm ... if I tell you, you have to promise to not be mad.


MK: Okay. Where did you get a dollar?
EM: I found it in your purse and I didn't want it to go to waste!
MK: What's this have to do with the jar? Rewind a bit.
EM: Erm ... I went to the litter box and Bear yelled at me because I had a non-stinky poop in the stinky poop side of the litter box.
MK: ELLIE! Just start at the beginning ...
EM: God made heaven and earth ...
MK: ABOUT THE JAR!
EM: Stop yelling at me!
MK: Please tell me what you know about Bear's jar.
EM: I got up from a nap and went to the bedroom to find Bear and he was there with this jar and a bunch of paper and stuff. I asked him what he's doing and he told me to leave him alone. So I told him his Momma looks like a man. And he said "so!?"


MK: I look like a man?
EM: NO! BEAR'S Momma looks like a man.
MK: I'm Bear's Momma too.
EM: Oh. Yeah. Anyway, I told him I was going to sit there and hold my breath until he told me what he was doing.
MK: Let me guess ... he ignored you and you almost passed out.
EM: WHOA! It's like you were THERE!
MK: {sigh}.
EM: So I asked Bear again what he was doing and he said he was making a tip jar.
MK: A tip jar? Like for people paying him tips?
EM: I don't think so. He said I could get a tip if I put a dollar in the jar. OH! And look! There's my dollar in the jar!
MK: Ellie, how many times have I told you not to give Bear money?
EM: Well, see, the joke's on him because he couldn't take it with him! So I got ALL the tips, the jar AND my dollar!


MK: Ellie ...
EM: Besides, there's plenty more where that came from.
MK: More what?
EM: Dollar bills.
MK: FROM WHERE?!?
EM: Daddy gives me money when Bear's mean to me.
MK: {screeching} HE DOES WHAT?
EM: Though, technically, since Bear isn't here anymore, I won't be getting any more money. But it's okay because I got my dollar back - at least I got it back by getting the jar.
MK: YOUR dollar?
EM: Is that a trick question? I found it.
MK: Okay okay. So what happened after you gave him a dollar?
EM: He put it in the jar. See?! There it is - in the jar.


MK: {sigh} Okay ...
EM: Okay.
MK: And then ...
EM: I picked a piece of paper out of the jar. I got a tip - just like he promised! You always told me he's trying to scam me - but I got what I paid for!
MK: What'd the piece of paper say?
EM: You mean, what did I READ on the piece of paper? Because paper doesn't actually say anything.
MK: Yes!
EM: The tip was: "It takes two to tango – but cats don’t dance."
MK: Ugh.
EM: I told him that was a crappy tip and I wanted my money back. He refused. But he said I could have another tip for free!
MK: Okay. What did that one say?
EM: "Don’t toot your own horn. Unless you're in your sibling's favorite bed." I told him that was stupid too. Then he asked me to watch his jar for him. I just wanted my dollar back - but technically, possessing the jar meant the dollar was mine - so I agreed to watch the jar for him.


MK: Then why is the dollar still in the jar?
EM: Stupid opposable thumbs ... I don't have any! I couldn't get the dollar out of the jar!


MK: And you never wondered what the rest of Bear's "tips" said?
EM: I figured they were ALL stupid like the first two. And then, while I watched the jar, I fell asleep. 
MK: Wait. Is this why you refused to leave the bedroom for two days?
EM: I must've missed whatever Bear was asking me to watch. So I just put the jar away in a safe spot. When I came out of the bedroom, Bear was gone! It's like he was trying to distract me from him leaving!
MK: {sigh}.
EM: Do humans really write tips to themselves and put them in jars?
MK: No. Tip jars are for putting monetary tips in when your server's service deserves a tip. As usual, Bear missed the point.
EM: Phht. Like any of us would tip him with money!
MK: You have a point. I guess Bear wasn't so far off in left field.
EM: Where's left field? Is that near the litter box?
MK: Never mind. Let's see what these tips say.
EM: I can't let you do that.
MK: Why not?
EM: Because Bear said I wasn't allowed to let anyone touch his tip jar!
MK: What if I give you your dollar back?
EM: Okay.
MK: {holding out the dollar} Here.
EM: Thanks.


{Pause}
EM: My precious ...


{Pause as the wheels turn in Ellie's head ...}
EM: Hmmm ... WAIT!
MK: What?
EM: You want to read all Bear's tips, right? How about you pay me a dollar per tip?
MK: No.
EM: Fifty cents per tip?
MK: No.
EM: A quarter per tip?
MK: Nope.
EM: A nickel per tip?
MK: Nope.
EM: A nickel for ALL of them?
MK: What do you think?
EM: OH! I get it! "A penny for your thoughts!" You asked what I think ... so you'll pay me a penny to read each tip!
MK: No.
EM: Bear was right. A cat can't make a living with you.


MK: Why would a cat need to make a living when I provide everything you need?
EM: I need a tuna farm.
MK: No, you don't. You WANT a tuna farm.
EM: Yes, and if I could eke out a living, I could BUY a tuna farm.
MK: Bear should be glad he's not here - because if he were, he'd be grounded forever for filling your head with his nonsense.
EM: How many cents is that?
MK: What?
EM: How many cents is noncents? Or are those cents that aren't money?
MK: I'm reading Bear's tips.
EM: Okay. But if Bear asks, you better tell him I didn't let you look at them.
MK: How would Bear ask that?
EM: "Momma, did Smellie let you read my tips in my tip jar?"
MK: NO! How would he ask me now that he's moved on to the other side.
EM: The other side? Of what?
MK: Never mind. Let's see here ... tip number one. "Good things come to those who wait ... said no cat ever."


EM: That's true!
MK: What's this number? Bear 87:9? Like "The Book of Bear, chapter 87, verse 9?"
EM: Bear's bible! The tips are a collection of his wisdom ...
MK: About what? Biting? Being ridiculous?
EM: Is Bear in trouble?
MK: Tip number two. "Biting speaks louder than words." HA! I was right! Ten bucks says there's something in here about being ridiculous.


EM: I know better than to take that bet. Even though ten dollars is kind of a drop in the bucket.
MK: But why Bear 8 1/2:39? It's like he made those up.
EM: I don't know. They sound pretty official.
MK: Ellie, it doesn't matter! You can make something that's all crap sound official!
EM: Oh, yeah. Like Bear calling himself a crapper because he's a cat rapper.
MK: No! No, that doesn't sound official at all! That just sounds stupid!
EM: What about "Share Bear Day?"
MK: WAIT! What do you mean ten dollars is a drop in the bucket? How much money do you have?
EM: Bear said I have twenty dollars.
MK: You LET Bear count your money?
EM: I can't count that high!
MK: Ellie, if you got paid every time Bear was mean to you - 24/7 for three years, you'd have hundreds of dollars.
EM: I would? It's a good thing Bear is dead, I'd kill him myself!
MK: But if you have so much money, as you say, why worry so much over the $1 you gave Bear?
EM: It's the principle of the thing.
MK: Never mind. Bear 6:12 - "Don't yell "chicken" in a crowded theater." Oh, for Pete's ...


EM: Huh. Bear is really smart.
MK: WHAT?!?! Who would yell "chicken" in a crowded theater?
EM: Someone who saw a chicken in a crowded theater. DUH.
MK: Yes, but humans don't care about ... oh, never mind. Let's do another one.
{Pause}
MK: Bear 32:14 - "Where one door shuts, there's a cat waiting on the other side of it."


EM: SEE?!?! He's brilliant! When a door shuts, there's TOTALLY a cat waiting on the other side of it!
MK: Ugh. Maybe. But he missed the entire point of that saying about opportunity.
EM: What says no opportunity like a closed door?
MK: {sigh} One more ... Bear 47:23 - "Every dog has his day - when a cat isn't around."


EM: THESE ARE GREAT! The first two I saw were stupid! But these are DEFINITELY worth a dollar. Words to live by!
{Pause}
EM: Erm ... although, Bear isn't living anymore, so maybe this isn't the best advice ...


MK: We'll put these all away for another time.

EM: But I want to know all the tips from Bear's tip jar!



MK: I'll type them all up for you - but I have other things I need to do today.
EM: Like what?
MK: People things.
EM: Don't make me bite you, Momma. Bear 8 1/2:39: "Biting speaks louder than words."
MK: {mumbling to herself} I bet Bear's laughing his striped butt off! What are you? Bear 2.0?
EM: What does that Bear 2.0 say, Momma?


MK: That one what?
EM: Bear 2.0?
MK: No, not the book of Bear, like a newer version. The first version is one-point-oh. And the second generation is two-point-oh.
EM: If you don't want to tell me, you can just say that instead of making up nonsense.
MK: {sigh}.


The Tips in Bear's Tip Jar [typed by Momma]












© 2021 Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat - Published by K. Kern. 
All text, pictures, images, and other content are original and copyright by Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat [K. Kern], 2015-2021. No content on Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat may be used without the owner's [K. Kern] written permission. If you see this post posted on a site that isn't Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat, please contact cats@mommakatandherbearcat.com. 


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46 comments

  1. There came some very wise...and humourous advices out of that sweet Angel BearCat's jar, Elli Mae😸Thank you for summing them all up for us. Pawkisses for a Happy Day to all of you🐾😽💞

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    1. Bear was so smart! Except for when he was mean to me. ~Ellie Mae

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  2. Bear, Ellie Mae and Mamma, you started my day with a smile. I loved these and I am tempted to save the list from the book of Bear!

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    1. We're glad. Seems like every cat person should have a copy of the book of Bear :)

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  3. Ellie Mae what a big responsibility you have to be keeper of Bear's Tip jar. Well done...Tips from Bear are valuable.
    Hugs cecilia

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    1. Bear was smart! Except for when he was mean to me :) ~Ellie Mae

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  4. The wisdom of Bear will always will always guide you Ellie, even if it is slowly!

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    1. Only now he has to be patient because he can't bite me any more! HA! ~Ellie Mae

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  5. AMARULA: Oh Bear! We miss you still so much- and i know one of your tips was It takes two to tango – but cats don’t dance---but you are wrong-cats so dance cause you danced your way into my heart!

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  6. Bear had some very wise tips for you Ellie, and some maybe not so wise.

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    1. Haha. Very wise and not so wise. Describes my brofur perfectly! ~Ellie Mae

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  7. ellie....heerz a tip for free.....frum bearz mind ...ta gram paw dudez mind ....ta mind meld with uz

    YEZ EWE KNEAD A TUNA FARM AND WE WILL HELP EWE SET UP DE CROWD FUNDIN PAGE !!! YAY :) ♥♥

    bear, noe oh fenze dood but we scrolled past de bass terd chickn tipz ;) ☺☺♥♥

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    1. Hahaha. So my taste in food is better than Bear's?!?! Hahahaha. At least you don't have to worry about confronting birds here anymore! ~Ellie Mae

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  8. that is one hell of a lifetime full of tips!! Bear, ya done good!!!

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  9. Those are significant tips from Bear! Ellie Mae has a responsibility that is both weighty and hilarious as Keeper of Bear's Tip Jar, but I have a feeling she is up to the challenge!

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    1. OH! Can I put that on my resume?!? "Keeper of Bear's Tip Jar" has a nice ring to it! ~Ellie Mae

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  10. Oh boy...these are PRICELESS (as is sweet Ellie). 😻

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  11. That Bear sure was a smart boy, and will always be looking over all of you!

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    1. Even when I'm in the litter box?! Isn't that ... umm .. creepy?! ~Ellie Mae

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  12. Ellie, all those tips are worth a million dollars. XO

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    1. You think I could sell them?!? Momma typed them all up ... so I might as well get my tuna farm. ~Ellie Mae

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  13. Oh My Cod! I HAVE to get a tip jar! AND I have to put all of Bear's Tips in it! I wanna be just like Bear! And I wanna hug his Momma as only a strippy cat can (and maybe a little bity too)
    Purrs
    Marv

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    1. Oh, Marv! That would be lovely! Your own tip jar, stripe-y cat hugs and even the bity! ~Kat
      I feel sorry for your fur-sibs if you take Bear's advice! ~Ellie Mae

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  14. Thanks so much for your kind words when I left for the bridge it meant so very much Friends
    Love from us all
    Timmy Tomcat and Family

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    Replies
    1. You're more than welcome. We only wish we could do more to ease your pain.

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  15. Bear you are so adorable and great tip jar ~ Xo

    Love the fog photo ~ hope you are enjoying your season change ~ Xo

    Living in the moment,

    A ShutterBug Exploresk
    aka (A Creative Harbor)

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    1. Thank you. My brofur was handsome, if I might say so myself! ~Ellie Mae

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  16. Ellie, just make your own way...and take Angel Bear's words of wisdom with a grain of salt!

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    1. Erm ... I mean, they seem pretty genius to me ... but I'm not Bear and I do have to be my own cat. I don't bite for one! ~Ellie Mae

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  17. Wow, those ARE words to live by. Bear's wisdom, wit, and spirit will live forever.

    Ellie, you could totally get, like, a lot of dollars for all the tips in the Book of Bear!

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  18. Those are amazing words of wisdom ! Those tips are worth a lot of green papers ! Purrs

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    1. Erm ... if you don't mind telling me who would buy them ... ~Ellie Mae

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  19. Such a wise cat, that Bear. I know you've committed all of those tips to memory, Ellie. You never know when one will come in handy.

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    1. I'm memorizing them slowly. Some things are worth taking one's time! ~Ellie Mae

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  20. I so enjoyed reading all of Bear's tips. I stoled a notebook from Momma's office so I could write them down. I live wif an AssWabbit and some of these will come in pwetty handy. Love yoo all! Dori

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    1. Just make sure A.W. doesn't get a paw on that notebook!!! Can you imagine the trouble that might cause? ~Ellie Mae

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  21. We thought you meant the monetary type of tips, but we love Bear's tips!

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    1. I think Bear would've liked his tip jar to contain money! Too bad he got his allowance taken away. ~Ellie Mae

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  22. Hmmm....it's starting to sound like Bear did teach Ellie Mae a few things!

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